Melancholy Mage Mixup

“Sharpen your mind like a blade, and it will shield you from danger.” In the principal’s office, I read aloud from the sign above her desk. The chuuni not-student council president stood behind me, arms crossed in front of his chest. “That same line was in my admission letter, but I thought it was metaphorical. I never dreamed a magic school would name itself Blade and Shield Academy. You have to admit it’s at least a bit deceptive.”

“Honestly, it’s never been a problem before now.” Ms. Orithiel sighed and sunk into her chair. “We’re one of the top magic schools in all the realms, perhaps the top magic school anywhere. Everyone else knew our reputation before they applied. I suppose you’re unique because you heard about us from Robolina, but still, I would have thought you’d do some research.”

She had a point. Maybe I spent too much time in the gym.

“You called, Ms. Orithiel?” As if on cue, Robolina poked her head into the office.

“Yes, come in. We have a bit of a… situation on our hands. Mr. Yamaguchi here did not realize we were a magic academy.”

“But Blade and Shield’s the top magic school in all the realms.”

“But I don’t know anything about magic,” I interjected. “How was I supposed to know which magic schools are famous?”

Robolina raised her holographic eyebrows. “I thought the few humans capable of using magic came from families with long traditions. Are you from a branch family that has rejected its heritage?”

“Not that I know of. None of my relatives know a thing about magic either.”

Ms. Orithiel cleared her throat. “It’s not completely unheard of for a magic-capable human to come from a non-magical family. Mr. Yamaguchi, it may not be your first choice, but why not give us a try for a semester? You can’t say you know nothing about magic after casting spells during your entrance exam.”

“Huh? I didn’t cast any spells.”

“But you levitated yourself up the wall and over the gap.”

“No, I just jumped.”

“What about the wind spell you cast to identify the real door?”

“That was a gust of actual wind.”

She placed her elbows on her desk and covered her eyes with her hands. “And the spell you cast to repel the ant must have been Soltharis’s doing. You passed that entire test with luck and physical fitness.”

“I don’t see the problem,” Robolina said. “We need athletic students for the Dungeon Relay, and you’ve always stressed the role of luck in the exam. Don’t worry, Sei. New students know nothing of magic. It is the school’s job to educate you.”

Ms. Orithiel looked up at Robolina. “No, it’s very unusual for students to be completely new to magic.”

“But it’s illegal under Earth law to study or practice the arcane before high school.”

“Yes it is, but everyone serious about magic ignores the law. Other realms don’t have the same restriction, so Earthling students wouldn’t be able to compete if they followed the law. As it is, nearly half the students come from other realms.” Turning back to me, she straightened her posture. “Since it was my job to ensure that all applicants were prepared for a magic education, I’ll take responsibility for getting you transferred to another school, but it may take some time. I hope you can understand that no school would be excited about accepting a transfer student on the first day.”

Robolina cut me off before I could answer. “That would be a mistake. Sei is omni-elemental, and his mana capacity rivals yours, Ms. Orithiel. Sei, you told me yourself that you wanted to do amazing things.”

“I meant as a warrior. Magic? That’s something from the other realms. It’s got nothing to do with me. We don’t even have any magic items in our house.”

“Don’t give up before you’ve even tried,” Robolina said. “You have a lot of potential as a mage, but you don’t have the physique of a warrior.”

Realizing that this was a magic school felt like a jab to the face, but Robolina’s words felt like a right hook while I was still recovering from the shock. After all the gym time I put in, I’m still not good enough?

Now it was Ms. Orithiel’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Impressive as his potential may be, he’s not ready for classes here. It can take years to develop the ability to feel your mana, and teachers expect students to cast spells on day one.”

“Then I’ll tutor him. Give me a chance, and I will turn him into the top student in his year.”

Sighing, Ms. Orithiel looked me in the eyes. “Mr. Yamaguchi, it’s your life. I can’t accept an offer like that on your behalf. I can either hire you a tutor for a normal school, or you can take a chance on Robolina. If it’s any help, she’s one of the most talented students I’ve ever taught, and I’ve never known her to take such an interest in someone else.”

I looked from her to Robolina and back again. “I don’t know. Can I have some time to think about it?” Not wanting to take no for an answer, Robolina stepped in front of me.

“Sei, would you rather go back to being, as you put it, below average? I believe in you, so please, trust me.”

Close. She was way too close and looking at me with puppy-dog eyes. I knew she wasn’t flesh and blood, but she was still cute. I looked away, trying to recover my composure. After all, I wasn’t the kind of guy who would make a major life choice to impress a girl. Not me. No way.

Then again, she did seem awfully interested in me. For once in my life, it felt--I mean, maybe she saw something in me that I didn’t.

“Guess it couldn’t hurt to try,” I choked out.

The chuuni senpai slammed his palms against the desk. “You can’t be serious! Yamaguchi, was it? All of your classmates worked for years to be here. It’s obvious you’re only considering staying because this thing is glazing you. Do the honorable thing and drop out so a more deserving waitlisted student can take your place.”

“If you have something to say,” Robolina said, “you can say it to my face.”

A cold laugh escaped Yuumondou’s lips. “Look who’s talking. OK, fine, Robolina. I don’t believe for one second that you’re doing this out of the kindness of your heart. You spent months trying to talk anyone who would listen into being your assistant, and when no one took the bait, you brought in this clueless outsider.”

“What’s the problem? If I am going to help him, it is only natural that he help me in return.”

“Enough,” Ms. Orithiel said. “I understand your concerns, Mr. Yuumondou, but this is not your decision, it’s mine.”

Yuumondou’s face contorted in anger. For a moment, I feared he was going to bust out one of his chuuni attack spells. Instead, he narrowed his eyes and looked at me. “If I’m not mistaken, Yamaguchi was admitted on an athletic scholarship. Those are only given to students who demonstrate superior abilities. If he can’t even run a single leg by the time of our first meet, he’ll lose his scholarship.” Smirking, he adjusted his glasses. “Your family can’t afford the tuition, right? Sooner or later, you’ll have to drop out. Might as well do it now.”

He had a point, but before I could answer, Robolina stepped between us and glared up at him. “Care to bet on it? If Sei becomes a mage worthy of this school, you’ll drop your objection. If he can’t, I’ll become your assistant for the rest of the year.”

“Humph.” Yuumondou slid his glasses up his nose with his middle finger. “Fine, but it will take more than a single relay leg to impress me. If he can finish a first-year 400 meter dungeon sprint before the end of the month, I’ll accept that he belongs here.”

“What’s a 400 meter dungeon sprint?” I asked.

He looked down at me with a haughty sneer. “So you don’t even know that? Before settling on the Dungeon Relay, they tried individual events. The 400 meter sprint is a gauntlet of twelve one-on-one fights.”

“Deal,” Robolina said before I could answer. “Come on, Sei.” She grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the office. Her hard, metal fingers dug painfully into my forearm. “We don’t have any time to waste.