Slothful Half-Measures Won’t Bring Us Salvation

Not all nights were spent outside. I also had other matters to attend to, namely the stolen magical items. Almost all the magical items in E.T.’s lair turned out to be manmade ones that had been remotely disabled, including the telekinesis rings I’d gotten from the truck heist. Pestilence ended up only taking the Hama Yumi, Cloudie, an artificial magical headband, and a multi-layered metal box with pieces of the killing stone.

The two of us went back to E.T.’s hideout in the dead of night to check if there were more magical artifacts we had left behind. Pestilence had destroyed the computers, but she spared the lights, so they still functioned. And there wasn’t any sign that E.T. had been here since the hotel fight.

“Do you think he has the Eight-Foot Curved Jewel?” Pestilence asked while sifting through the box of magical items like a kid at Christmas. We matched each one with our quasi-omniscience to ensure none of them were blind spots.

“He doesn’t have that,” I replied. Even though E.T. had Cloudie and the Eight-Hand Mirror, two of the three sacred treasures of Japan, the final one was absent.

“Hagoromo.”

“He has it on him. You saw it when you fought him.”

“I heard there’s more than one Feather Mantles circulating in Japan.” That was plausible; I had heard other examples of multiple copies of the same mythical item. But Pestilence’s statement raised a question.

“Where did you get all this information?”

“I begged for it.”

Before I could grill her about the evasive answer, I remembered something more important. “Wait. Where’s the mallet?”

“I couldn’t find it.”

“That’s impossible. I saw him leave it here.”

“I screwed up, mistress. Please punish me…” She lifted her shirt to show her belly. I couldn’t hit her even if I wanted to, since Raven’s body wasn’t close by.

“Can you stop it? I'm not in the mood right now. You had to lose the artifact that could shatter the economy.”

“Fine. Will it make you feel better if I say I’d take responsibility?”

I pressed my fingers to my face. Nothing I could do would actually punish Pestilence. This promise was the best compensation I could get. “Do you know how much trouble you have given me because you couldn’t beat E.T. in a fight?”

“I don’t train in combat like you do. I usually scream for help until someone saves me. Or just play dead.” She must have thought that I had dementia, because she didn’t do either of those things when I killed her in India. I didn’t call out her lies, because this screw-up wasn’t only her fault.

If only I had figured out the properties of the spear earlier.

More thoughts were about to spawn, but Pestilence interrupted them. “I think you did everything right. As you’ve said, you have to do whatever it takes.”

Right, spending more time on this is pointless.

My attention wandered to another issue. “You’re spending time with Ueshima Hideka now. What is that? Friends? With or without benefits?”

“Are you acting as my mother now?”

“Raven cares about Hideka. I just want to make sure that whatever you do won’t interfere with my plans.”

Pestilence shrugged. “It’s nothing serious. Just a whim to pass the time. And I won’t hurt her, if that’s what you are worried about. I also didn’t kill the Robin Hood when I could have passed lethal diseases to him.”

“Wow, do you want an award for that?”

“No. I don’t need anything from you. You’ve given me enough.”

“What do you think I’ve given you?”

Pestilence’s eyes strayed from me. She played with the white ends of her hair. A pink was squeezed out of her cheeks. “Inspiration. Of how to be an even better tool to you.”

I hope this girl chokes on her own bacteria. No, she might actually enjoy it.

***

The jagged constructions covered both sides of a street in Sumida City. The outer walls of the buildings varied in quality; some looked so brand new that they might just have been built yesterday, while others were weathered with marks of time. The path remained flawlessly clean, even under the air of poverty, littered only with stray weeds, bikes, and potted plants.

“What will you do once you find him?” Raven asked while scanning the houses she passed, referring to an address given by Pestilence.

“I’ll kill him.” That might have been too blunt of me to say.

“But… why not tell the police? I’m pretty sure they would want to catch him at all costs. He must have pissed off some really powerful people.”

“And you are willingly working for them for free?”

Raven tightened the clutch on her phone; a dry heaviness rippled in her chest. “I don’t like having the same goal as them, but it’s my responsibility to settle things.”

“You sure you aren’t just trying to fix your site’s reputation?”

“Fix? I’m lucky that they didn’t shut it down. I’m taking a break from it.” The mainstream media had picked up on the Yurashi Hotel attempted mass murder incident. Although the public didn’t know Raven was involved with E.T., her site still praised him.

Raven glimpsed a businessman driving past at the street junction. “Ever had a job before? Since you’re so old.”

She didn’t have to phrase it this way. Or was it intentional? In times like these, I was reminded of how inconvenient it was for her mind to be inaccessible to me. “Here and there. But in the old days, there wasn’t much work an unmarried and unknown woman could do. It was simpler to stick to foraging.”

“Oh… Anyway, I totes need to find one.” Of course, since she had just donated a vast portion of her wealth to various charities. Her plans to lease out her unused apartments wouldn’t be enough, especially since she wanted to keep the rent cheap.

“What skills do you even have?” I asked. It wasn’t meant to be funny. But Raven still chuckled. I didn’t feel the need to correct her.

“I’m a freelance tutor, remember? And I’ve been writing news articles for years now.”

Oh, right. She literally volunteered at an orphanage, though she had stopped going there after meeting E.T.; I didn’t think my memory was that bad. Or was I truly that desperate to strike up a conversation with her, no matter the topic?

“We’re here,” I said, cutting off whatever thoughts I was having. Our destination was a decrepit shack sandwiched between two apartment buildings. It seemed like a shameful secret hidden inside a secluded alley, even out of the gaze of cameras. Cables and pipes wrapped around the outer wall; dark red cedar planks patched cracks and smothered the windows. According to Pestilence’s information, a black-market dealer connected to E.T. dwelled within.

My quasi-omniscience saw only emptiness inside, probably a blind spot. Blind spots usually meant danger. When I scouted the area last night, I couldn’t even get close to the shack as a spirit. Something was keeping me out. Unconsciously, I tensed up Raven’s muscles. “I’ll take over and pick the lock. Just relax and don’t interfere.”

“Can we knock?”

“Does it look like this is a peaceful visit? I asked you to put on a disguise and take the scenic route here. You are even armed.” I wasn’t kidding about being armed. This time, I bought Junk-o’s jacket and belt, along with a magical headband from E.T.’s collection. Three magical items were the most a person could hold; any more would greatly diminish one’s control over the items.

Raven’s hand lingered on her blonde wig. “But…”

“I promise you I will stick to non-lethal attacks.”

“I guess…”

“Great.” I took out a repurposed paper clip from Raven’s purse. The Hand of Glory would have been a better tool to open the lock, but Pestilence refused to hand it over. Perhaps a blessing in disguise, because I saw what she had shoved the fingers into. She had also refused to follow us on this trip, blaming a splitting headache.

Sure. A headache.

Click. It took me only five seconds to defeat the lock mechanism. I took a deep breath. “Here we go. Don’t panic.” I didn’t know if I said that for Raven or for myself.

After slamming the door open, I aimed my fingers inside, prepared to shoot. An acrid smell blew out, as if someone had used a rotting corpse to make perfume. Despite that, I forced my eyes to stay on task. The billowing sunlight illuminated the sight within.

What?