Chapter 24

Nina

Dear diary,

I cannot make up my mind if I’ve made a mistake agreeing to come with Mel to the exhibition. To tell the truth, it both exhilarates me and terrifies me. She really did ask me if I wanted to come with her. I do not know why that would be, or why she would be so interested in spending time with me when she has all those friends to choose from. But she chose me. I don’t believe anyone has ever chosen me, not since elementary school when Tania chose to be my friend.

But I’m reaching for a life that is no longer mine, and I do not know if it’s the right decision. After all, did I not leave it for a reason? I cannot say that I enjoy it, but the alternative is worse, and I do not want to make the same mistake again. I do not want to cause another accident.

But the thought of spending time with Mel is growing so strong, I do not know how to stop it. More and more, my thoughts circulate around her and what my life could look like if we were friends. It scares me and excites me at the same time. We could visit places, go to movies and maybe even travel if she’d like.

But I should not think like that, I do not know what will happen. After all, that kind of life is no longer for me, and I made my decision a long time ago.