Chapter 25

Mel 

Stupid shit. I pulled off the dress and threw it on the floor. It didn’t fit either. I stared at the clothes piled up on the bed. Dammit. Nothing that I had would fit.

I left it on the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I’d already decided what to wear for the exhibition evening, but those plans were overthrown once I realised Nina would see me. Stupid shit. I’d deal with it later. There were still a couple of days until the opening evening.

I put on the jeans hanging over the chair and pulled on a jumper. Coffee? No, no time. I pocketed the phone and headed out.

I hadn’t heard from her apart from a text letting me know when she thought she would deliver the first project. I hadn’t dared to text her back in case I suggested something stupid. Inviting her to the exhibition had been bad enough. Stupid shit.

I took a left as I came out on the street and walked towards the gallery. Did all this shit mean we were dating now? But how could you even date someone you didn’t want to sleep with? Dammit, but then, what was it?

“Mel, my darling!”

I looked up. I’d already arrived at the gallery. The director was standing at the entrance, and he threw his cigarette on the ground and walked over.

“Oh, you will be so happy seeing it. My little elves have done an excellent job.”

He took me by the arm and led me inside. He’d wanted to meet to show the final job and go through the last touches.

He walked me through room after room, pointing out all the arrangements and final thoughts. I guess I must have nodded and hummed in the right spots because he kept talking, but I barely remembered anything. By the time he was finished, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and waved me off.

I stared down the street. What now? The bar was open, I could go there. It was too early to have a beer, and I’d already drunk too much yesterday, but I didn’t want to go back to my flat. I turned left as I came out onto the street. Man, what was I even supposed to do with Nina? What did you do if you didn’t plan to go to bed with someone? And why didn’t I want to…? No, it didn’t matter. Dammit, it was complicated enough without thinking about that.

I was right at least, and the bar was open. Billy was sitting at a table, and I walked over to him.

“Hey!”

“Hey, Mel. Long time no see.”

I sat down and ordered a beer. He offered me a cigarette, and I took it. I’d already smoked more than my share today, but who cares?

“So… how’s life? Haven’t seen you in a while?”, he said.

“You know, the usual… What about you?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it…”

He began telling me about his boyfriend he’d broken up with, only to find a woman to share his bed with instead. It didn’t take me long to lose track. Stupid shit, what was I doing here? Is this how I lived my life? Bar, drink, beer… I wondered what Nina would like to do if we got to know each other more. What did she do in her free time?

“So you can only imagine my surprise when she told me she didn’t mind sharing.”

He let out a belly laugh, and I tried to smile. Man, what was I doing here?

“Yo, what are you bitches talking about?”

Sandra walked over to us.

“What’s up?”

Billy began to tell her his story, and I soon excused myself and left. Man, what was I doing?