3-Midnight Konbini War

The fluorescent lights buzzed like a dying fly.

Baku-chan stood behind the counter. She was wearing the store uniform over her pajamas standing perfectly still. Her eyes were open, but they were completely white.

She was asleep standing up.

KACHING-CLACK.

The automatic doors slid open. Chi-chan kicked the door frame as she entered, wearing sunglasses at night. Poko followed, holding a bag of trash she found outside.

Chi-chan: (Shouting) "GREET ME, PEASANT! The Nue God has arrived!"

Baku-chan: (Jumps awake) "Huh?! Welcome-to-Family-Mart-would-you-like-chicken?"

Chi-chan: "Behold, Poko! This is the human world's treasure vault! Look at all these!"

Poko: (Looking at the magazine rack) "Whoa! Look, Chi-chan! This magazine has a lady with no clothes on! Isn't she cold?"

Chi-chan: "Don't touch the adult section, you idiot! We are here for one thing. The Legendary Premium potato chips ."

Chi-chan ran to the snacks section next to counter.

 It was empty. Except for one lonely, potato chips pack.

Chi-chan: "There it is... The premium potato chips..."

Baku-chan: (Rubbing her eyes) "Please don't lean on the glass. You're leaving greasy paw prints."

Chi-chan: "Silence, wage-slave! Give me that chips! Put it on my tab!"

Baku-chan: "Chi-chan... you don't have a tab here. It's 150 yen."

Chi-chan: "Tsk. Money is a social construct! Poko! Pay for me!"

Poko walked up to the counter. She dumped the bag of trash on the counter.

Poko: "I don't have cash, but I found these shiny bottle caps! They are rare, right?"

Baku-chan: "That is garbage. Please leave... my shift ends in 5 minutes and I want to sleep."

Suddenly, the automatic doors opened again.

A man in a ski mask rushed in and he was holding a knife.

Robber: "NOBODY MOVE! PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG!"

Silence filled the store.

Chi-chan: (Turns around slowly) "Excuse me? I was ordering first. Don't you know who I am? I am the Terror of the West—"

Robber: "SHUT UP, KID! I SAID MONEY!"

The Robber grabbed Chi-chan by her tiger ears and lifted her up.

Chi-chan: "GYAAAAH! UNHAND ME! MY EARS ARE SENSITIVE! HEBI-O, KILL HIM!"

Hebi-o (The Snake Tail): "Nah. He has a knife. I'm allergic to steel."

Poko: "Oh no! A bad guy! Don't worry, Chi-chan! I will save you with my Transformation Magic!"

Poko slapped a leaf on her forehead.

Poko: "TRANSFORM! POLICE OFFICER!"

POOF.

Smoke exploded in store but When it cleared, Poko had not transformed into a police officer.

She had transformed into a Giant Police Car.

But because the store was small, the car instantly crushed the shelves. Snacks flew everywhere. The Robber was pinned against the adult magazine rack and got nosebleed by Poko's bumper.

Robber: "WHAT THE HELL?! A TALKING CAR?!"

Poko (Car Form): "Beep Beep! You are under arrest! ...Wait, I can't move! My tires are in the slushie machine!"

Baku-chan: (Staring blankly) "My cleanup... I just mopped the floor..."

Chi-chan: (Still dangling from the robber's hand) "Put me down, you criminal scum! Or I will curse your bloodline!"

The Robber was panicking. A car was inside the store. A child was screaming. A snake was eating a candy bar it stole from the shelf.

Robber: "YOU ARE ALL FREAKS! DIE!"

He raised the knife at Baku-chan.

Baku-chan: "Haaa..."

Baku-chan tilted her head back. Her nose twitched.

Chi-chan: "Wait... that face... DON'T DO IT!"

Baku-chan: "Heeaaaaa... CHOO!"

[MEGA SNEEZE EXPLOSION]

Baku-chan sneezed. A massive pink cloud of gas exploded from her mouth . It filled the entire store instantly.

This was the Baku’s special ability: Dream Gas.

Robber: "What is th— Zzzzzz..."
(He drops to the floor, snoring instantly).

Chi-chan: "No! Not the gas! I— I need to save... the game... progre... ss..."
(Chi-chan falls face-first into the hot dog roller).

Poko (Car Form): "Vrooooom... honk... zzz..."
(The car headlights turn off).

[10 Minutes Later]

Rinka walked into the store. The sliding doors were broken.

It looked like a war zone. Potato chips covered the floor like snow. A police car was snoring in Aisle 3. A robber was sleeping on top of a pile of adult magazine. Chi-chan was asleep in the hot dog warmer, rotating slowly.

Rinka stepped over the Robber and walked up to the counter.

Baku-chan was asleep standing up again, a bubble coming out of her nose.

Rinka: "Wake up."

WHACK.

She hit Baku-chan with the paper fan.

Baku-chan: "WELCOME TO FAMILY MART— Oh. It's you, Rinka-san."

Rinka: "The store manager called me. He said my 'pets' destroyed the store."

Baku-chan: "It wasn't my fault... I just sneezed..."

Rinka: "Whatever. Grab Chi-chan. I’m deducting the damages from her dinner."

Rinka grabbed Poko (who had turned back into a naked girl covered in slushie syrup) by the ear. Baku-chan grabbed Chi-chan by the leg.

Chi-chan: (Sleep talking) "Mmm... meat bun... world domination..."