Chapter 1:

A tale of salt and crackers

En Passant Grandmaster Volume 4

August 22nd, 2024...

Daria tapped her fingers as she contemplated her first move.

"You have something on your mind?" Mimoko asked.

"A few things actually, but I'm sure you can guess what the big one is."

"Shousen-chan..."

A few days had passed since the London rescue mission, but that didn't mean things were fully resolved. Hagemi was now in captivity, with Heather having gone completely off the rails and become a far colder and volatile person to deal with.

"Melania's a damn fool. Scharlachrot wasn't just the brains behind the Fairy League, but also the one that kept Heather sane. Worse, all the other surviving Rainbow Executives are in WWCF custody, so there's no friendly faces left aside from Baron von Borg to anchor Heather down," Daria scowled.

"How bad has she gotten?" Mimoko asked.

"Before, the demand of the Fairy League were outrageous, but Scharlachrot left room for negotiation. Now, it's Heather's way, or no deal. She wants nothing short of any chess variant that doesn't feature fairy chess pieces banned worldwide. If I see Melania again, I might just slap her."

"Hate to butt in, but shouldn't you be playing as you talk?" Ichimitsu asked.

"Oh right! Sorry, I didn't mean for our game to get derailed. Hmm, guess we'll test out this line," Daria nodded as she opened the game by moving her knight to a3.

Upon seeing the move, Mimoko glared in disgust. "Why the Sodium Attack?"

"Oh, there's actually a fun story behind this. You see one of the handymen at the WWCF, Bruno Lumaca, is really good at chess, heck he was even a maestro candidate. However, he has a major weakness as I just learned yesterday..."

...

At WWCF HQ, Daria headed over to the breakroom after finishing up a short meeting with the other maestros.

"Sounds like you've had it rough, Maestro," a young man nodded as he offered Daria some water.

"Rough doesn't even begin to describe it," Daria replied as she drank the water.

"So uh, is this a good time to ask if I can challenge you to casual-"

"No."

"But I just got approved to be Biel's DSPCM! That's the big spot every Swiss player's been pinning for."

"Doesn't mean I'll challenge you.

The young man, Ignatz Walser, hailed from Switzerland, which didn't have a maestro, and had the maximum of 6 allocated DSPCM spots. Not every spot had been filled yet, but the one that just had been by Ignatz, Biel, was easily one of the big ones due to it's rich chess history and close proximity to the cities of Basil and Bern, the latter of which also being the country's capital and host city to its own secret puzzle cafe.

"Hey why da long face?" a mustachioed man in a maintenance suit asked as he restocked the vending machine.

"Bruno! Play me! You're really good at chess, right!?"

"Whoa, easy kid. I'm just the handyman round here."

"But I heard you were once considered for a maestro position!"

Bruno lowered his hat over his face. "That was years ago. I can't talk about everything, but I can say the experience was miserable. I had a chance to advance, but some punk played a damn move that messed me up!"

"What move was it?"

"I AIN'T TELLIN YOU!"

A mischievous grin formed on Daria's face. "In that case, how about a casual blitz game against me?"

"Huh!? Why him and not-"

"Cuz I got certain privileges you don't," Bruno glared as he pulled up a chessboard.

True to the rumors, Bruno was quite good at chess and boasted a rating of 2832. However, he had a fatal weakness that was so bad, he'd lose nearly 100% of the time as Black if White played this move first, and it just so happened, Daria knew exactly what said move was.

As Daria opened by moved her knight to a3, Bruno's face began to twitch. "You- How the hell did you figure that out!?" he trembled as he moved his knight to h6.

"Secret," Daria chuckled as she moved her knight to f3.

"Guh, I HATE SALT!" Bruno shouted as he moved his knight to a6.

"My, so that move really does mess you up. I can see why you failed; you have such a fatal flaw," Daria snickered as she moved her pawn to e4.

"Salt messes me up! It always burns my tongue and makes me nauseous! I always gotta read the damn labels to make sure there's no salt in it!" Bruno ranted as he moved his pawn to c5.

"But why does the move itself throw you off your game?" Daria asked as she moved her pawn to d4.

"Cuz Na is sodium, dammit! CHECK!" Bruno shouted as he moved his queen to a3.

"True, that is the chemical symbol for sodium, but why does that alone set you off?" Daria asked as she moved her pawn to c3.

"Anything referencing salt triggers me!" Bruno fumed as he moved his pawn to g5.

Daria quickly captured said free pawn with her bishop, prompting Bruno to capture the pawn at d4 with his c-pawn.

Ignatz watched in bewilderment as Daria moved her knight to c4, and Bruno moved his pawn to b5, allowing Daria to capture the queen at a5 with her knight with ease. "Wh- Why is he playing so horribly!?" he trembled as Bruno captured the pawn at c3 with his d-pawn.

Daria promptly captured said pawn with her b-pawn, while Bruno moved his pawn to f6. This prompted Daria to capture the knight on h6 with her bishop, and Bruno to capture said bishop with his bishop. She then moved her queen to d5, prompting Bruno to move his rook to b8, but Daria then delivered a check by moving her queen to h5, prompting Bruno to move his king to f8. However, that king soon found it's way back to e8 after Daria captured the bishop on h6 with her queen.

"A shame you have such a weakness. Though it does give me a good idea," Daria grinned as she moved her knight to d4.

"What are you thinkin?" Bruno glared as he moved his knight to c7.

"That you'd be a perfect DSPCM!" Daria smiled as she moved her queen to g7.

"Oh, so kids can take advantage of my weakness and thrash me!? No thanks!" Bruno fumed as he moved his knight to e6.

"But your weakness is why you'd be such a good DSPCM," Daria countered as she captured the knight at e6 with her knight.

"I ain't gonna let kids trash me. Besides, I could just require everyone to play black against me," Bruno glared as he captured the knight at e6 with his d-pawn.

"Then make it random what color you play as," Daria countered as she castled on the queen's side.

"So if I get white, they lose, but if I get black they win if they play the Sodium Attack Opening? No way!" Bruno fumed as he moved his rook to b7.

"Check. It's not like you're playing competitively anymore. Plus, DSPCMs have their ratings frozen like regular SPCMs and maestros so no need to worry about losing what you've built up," Daria smiled as she captured the rook on h8 with her queen.

Bruno went silent and moved his king to f7.

"Come on," Daria pouted as she captured the pawn at h7 with her king.

"Ugh, fine! But only if my city's getting one of them cafes," Bruno grumbled as he moved his king to e8.

"Perfect, Lugano's on the list of approved cities so you pass. Checkmate," Daria smiled as she moved her queen to g8, winning the game.

"Hell of a way to pass someone. Oh, guess I'll give ya a freebie for winning as per my code," Bruno grumbled as he grabbed a package of crackers he intended to put in the vending machine.

"They have salt in them and you can handle them?"

"I can touch salt, just can't eat it."

"And would your chess decline if you were playing as white against someone wearing a shirt with "salt" written on it?"

"No, it's just that damn sodium attack that gets me. Probably thanks to the humiliation I got because of him. Ugh, and of course he won the whole damn thing."

...

As Daria finished her story, Mimoko sat in silence. "So you're telling me a super grandmaster-level player gets so thrown off by a terrible opening, he himself plays terribly?"

"That's right, and it got me thinking about the Sodium Opening and it's variants. Seems the only 3 recognized ones are the Chenoboskian Variation, 1. Na3 g6 2. g4, the Durkin Gambit, 1. Na3 e5 2. Nc4 Nc6 3. e4 f5, and the Celadon Variation, 1. Na3 e5 2. d3 Bxa3 3. bxa3 d5 4. e3 c5 5. Rb1."

"And are you looking to create new opening theory much like what Tanabe-kun's doing with the Anderssen Opening?"

"He's creating new opening theory for that? What's he got so far?"

"So far a stupid Bongcloud-type opening he calls the "Baron Buster Gambit" which he claims stems form the so called "Prussian Gambit" that goes, 1. a3 d5 2. e4."

"Then I assume this "Baron Buster Gambit" goes, 1. a3 d5. 2. e5 dxe5 3. Ke2?"

"Correct."

"Noted. Any other notable things your friends have come up with?"

"Well, Shousen-kun did come up with a name for the 1. d4 a5 opening."

"What he call it?"

"The Kawaguchi Opening."

"Hmm, it becomes a standard King's pawn opening if white responds with e4 on the second move, but if not I guess it is uncharted territory. Though why'd he name such a move after this city?"

"Guess he thinks the move has potential and as such, wanted his home city to get all the glory."

"Well in that case, I wish him the best of luck in perfecting the move. Now, how do you intend to respond to my Sodium Attack Opening?"

"By crushing it, that's how," Mimoko glared.

...

Mimoko sat in class with a nasty scowl on her face.

"Mimo, why do you look like you want to kill someone?" a red-haired girl whispered.

Mimoko slowly turned to the girl. "I lost..."

"You lost?"

"To Okaa-chan."

"Isn't that every other day?"

"She played the Sodium Attack."

"Uh, what?"

"Lol, Mimo-chan got the full salt package," Iori grinned as she played with Mimoko's drill tails.

"Ugh, I want to straighten out my hair, but Okaa-chan keeps forcing me to keep the drill tails after every loss to her," Mimoko groaned as she swatted Iori's hands away.

"You look good with them," the red-haired girl nodded.

"Doesn't mean I like it."

The full game:

White: Maestro Himitsu (Daria Inoue) (3200) Black: Bruno Lumaca (2832)

1. Na3 Nh6

2. Nf3 Na6

3. e4 c5

4. d4 Qa5+

5. c3 g5

6. Bxg5 cxd4

7. Nc4 b5

8. Nxa5 dxc3