【Performative affection】

"You shouldn't have collaborated with Jitsuko."

Akira slumped in his seat, gaze drifting toward the corner of the office while the manager continued talking about his numbers, reach, and public perception.

I know this already. I need to make content, rise in numbers, and not get into trouble.

"And also when you are seen with her," the manager added. "The fans will assume she is your real-life girlfriend."

Akira looked towards the ceiling. It would be great if she were.

"This also threatens her privacy."

Hmmm...I don't want her privacy leaked. But I do want her to be my girlfriend.

"Are you even listening?" The manager spoke louder than usual.

"Yes." Akira straightened instinctively.

"What was I saying?"

"Umm, you said." Akira scratched the back of his head. "If I work hard—"

"I was saying you have more modelling offers and a perfume advertisement. And stop hanging out with Jitsuko."

"They should get an actual actor or model." Akira shrugged.

It wasn't like he wasn't happy, but he knew he wasn't good at acting.

"You are famous; that's why." The manager sighed. He removed his glasses, pressing the bridge of his nose. "Your aunt was much better at handling these things."

He finally said it.

"I am handling it well," Akira hissed. "Modelling, the AD, anything else?"

"Yes, an upcoming private stream on the 13th." The manager put on his glasses, no longer looking at him. "and decide on a more successful collaboration or don't collaborate at all."

Akira stood, chair scraping softly against the floor. At the door, he paused, fingers curled around the handle. Shoulders slumped, not from tiredness but from indecisiveness. He looked back at the manager.

"And I like hanging out with Jitsuko."

Yes. He felt childish saying it.

He walked out of the office. The hallway felt narrower than usual.

It was fun to work with Jitsuko, but the outcome was trash. And working with Sanae was okay, but she is weird. I don't like Nazuna; he is bossy.

"Hey."

Sanae moved next to him, her hands clasped behind her back.

"Guess your fame is already stumbling."

Akira looked at her. "Nah, I have new offers."

Sanae smirked and slipped her arms around his. "The perfume ad and the modelling? Guess who else got those?"

"Of course you." Akira sighed, gently pulling his arm free. "Since you don't talk to me unless it's business, what is it?"

Sanae chuckled. "The management wants me to persuade you into a collab."

"Too blunt." Akira looked at the floor. "I was thinking of collaborating with Jitsuko again."

She took a step closer to him, almost in a whisper. "You are too fixated on Jitsuko, especially if you want to collab with her again despite everything."

"But without her content."

"Selfish." Sanae leaned against the wall.

"I don't think I am being selfish; it's a win for both of us."

"Fine. Fine. I am the same as you, so I get it." She opened the manager's room. "If things don't go well, call me."

Akira was back at his apartment, the cold apartment. He debated endlessly if he was wrong.

I want Jitsuko, not the content.

He tore open a packet of chips and ate while the television played some drama serial. Pointless background noise since he wasn't following the plot.

He crumpled the packet, tossed it on the table, and walked into his bedroom. Taking out some clothes, he took a bath. A bath longer than usual. The water falling on his head helped dull his thoughts.

With dripping hair, he called Jitsuko.

After a few rings, he heard her voice.

"Hello, Akira. How was your day?"

"It was okay."

He paused and took a few deep breaths. "Hey, I was wondering if we should collaborate again?"

There was silence from the other side.

"Are you sure? I know that stream wasn't successful."

Akira stared at the wall in front of him, the wet hair drenching his shirt. He knew she was correct, and as of now, he had to be more professional.

"See you tomorrow."

He pressed the button, and the call ended. He dialled Sanae's number.

That night, Akira went live. The stream was lively; chat rolled at the speed he enjoyed. Fans dumped him with streaming tips for every antic of his.

"Guys, guys... This is way too much."

Yelp [Moan, please].

Akira chuckled, "Tip me more, or maybe join for a one-on-one stream."

I_bark [I will only pay for it unless it's spicy].

"Haha, that's a secret!"

Akira narrowed his eyes, moving closer to the screen, as many users continued telling how much they loved him.

So in the end, I am still feeding on this fake validation.

The next week was blurred altogether. The usual hustle, which he had to play along with.

The piercing lights of the camera every time it flashed to capture him in new clothes. Posing with Sanae, simply to fuel speculations.

The perfume shoot took an entire day.

They made him reshoot the same scene over and over—walking through mist, lowering his voice, whispering about desire and allure.

“Again,” the director said. “Softer this time.”

Akira smiled, delivered the line, and inhaled dramatically.

Cut. Reset. Repeat.

By the end, his head ached.

They played the final version for him: slow-motion shots, close-ups, and him paired with Sanae. At the end the screen showed the words. Irresistible fragrance.

Humans aren't animals that sniff to mingle.

Then the stream with Sanae, the success he craved.

And of course, the flowers never stopped coming. Akira talked to the apartment manager, but he brushed him off.

Akira lay on his bed, scrolling through the internet. The name Akari was still linked to him.  The internet continued debating on the brown-haired girl who might be Kyroxfun's real girlfriend.

[I have seen them hang out many times.]

Akira sat up. This user must be lying; they can't possibly know.

The user's profile was a fan account about him. But the profile was weirdly empty, as if the media had been removed from it.

Akira reported the user and set his phone aside.

Serves me right for having them obsess over me.