Chapter 8: Lynn, You Absolute Genius!

[ Inside the Arena ]

Lynn was currently putting on the performance of a lifetime. He curled into a ball, shielding his head, and let out a series of pathetic, soul-crushing wails.

"Master! Help me! I can't beat him! I'm dying! I'm gonna get PK'ed by a fish!"

His voice cracked with "terror." It was enough to make a grown man cry.

In the control room, Nanako watched with dead eyes. If she couldn't hear his internal monologue, she would have believed him instantly.

In fact, she remembered a similar incident a few months ago. She had pitted him against a Tier 1 Beast. He had screamed just like this. Back then, her heart had softened. She had rushed in, saved him, hugged him, and given him a week of paid vacation to recover from the "trauma."

"..."

"..."

"I GOT PLAYED!!"

Nanako grabbed her twin-tails and screamed, grinding her teeth so hard sparks flew. I was scammed! I was jebaited by my own disciple!

She slammed her hand on the microphone button and roared into the comms:

"YOU DOG DISCIPLE!! GET SERIOUS! If you lose to a Tier 2 Murloc, you are going back to the tower to copy the Encyclopedia of Magic FIVE HUNDRED TIMES!!!! I AM NOT JOKING!!"

Her voice boomed through the arena speakers like the wrath of God.

Lynn: "..."

[ Inner Voice ] [ She's lost it. She's actually crazy. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ This isn't normal. Usually, the "pitiful scream" strat has a 100% success rate. She's supposed to rush in and coddle me. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ Confirmed. It’s definitely Menopause. Hormones are scary. (`皿′) ]

Nanako: (Aggressive grinding noises)

Suddenly, inside the arena, the Murloc missed a kick due to "mysterious circumstances."

Lynn seized the opportunity. With a roar that sounded like he was exerting every ounce of his strength, he performed a clumsy combat roll, "barely" dodging the attack.

He stumbled to his feet, panting heavily, and raised his staff. "Take this!"

FWOOSH.

Instantly, a massive sphere of [Holy Fire] materialized at the tip of his staff. It was blindingly bright, radiating enough heat to vaporize the entire room.

[ Inner Voice ] [ Nope! Too big! Way too big! Reduce output! The Loli is watching! ]

Shrink.

Under Nanako's incredulous gaze, the massive sun-like fireball instantly compressed. It shrank. And shrank. Until it became a tiny, flickering candle flame about the size of a thumb. It looked so weak that Nanako doubted it could even light a cigarette, let alone kill a monster.

Nanako stared, dumbfounded.

[ Inner Voice ] [ Tsk tsk. Perfect calibration. If she asks, I'll just say it's a side effect of the Holy Blessing. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ "Master, my control is too weak! I can't stabilize the mana! This tiny spark is my limit!" ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ I am a genius. O(￣︶￣)o ]

Lynn smiled inwardly. Then, outwardly, he put on a face of extreme constipation—I mean, exertion. Gritting his teeth, trembling with effort, he threw the tiny ember.

It looked exactly like a noob throwing their first spell.

[ Inner Voice ] [ Now... the flame will travel at a 30-degree deviation... "accidentally" hit the Murloc in the left eye... and "accidentally" burn through its brain stem. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ Thus, I will achieve a "lucky" critical hit and barely survive this terrifying encounter. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ When Master comes to check on me, I’ll collapse into her arms from "mana exhaustion." Then I’ll be sent to the Infirmary... where the cute Healer Waifus can soothe my traumatized soul. →_→ ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ Flawless plan! Lynn, you magnificent bastard! ]

Nanako listened to the entire script in real-time. She watched the tiny flame fly. It curved at exactly 30 degrees. It hit the Murloc perfectly in the eye.

Thud.

The Murloc collapsed instantly, smoke rising from its eye socket. One-shot kill.

Lynn reached a trembling hand toward the viewing glass, a tired, pained smile on his face. His expression said: Master... I did it... I survived...

Nanako stared at him for two full seconds.

"..."

"..."

"DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?!!!!"

Nanako snapped. She grabbed her twin-tails and started headbutting the control console in front of her.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

This is too much! This is insulting my intelligence! You scripted the entire fight in your head before it even happened! And why is your acting so good?! If I couldn't read your mind, I would have totally believed that "hard-fought victory" face!

And you want to collapse into my arms? You want to go see the Healer Waifus to "soothe your soul"?!

"Damn you! Damn you!!"

Bang! Bang!

Suddenly, a sizzling sound cut through her rage. Zzzzt. Crackle.

Nanako froze. She looked down. Smoke was rising from the console. The buttons controlling the "Monster Spawner" were flickering violently.

Her eyes widened. "Did... did I break it?"

Reflexively, she looked up at the large screen displaying the arena.

Nanako: (ΩДΩ)!!!!

Inside the arena. Lynn stood there, looking small and lonely. But around him, the air was tearing open. Countless portals were opening.

[ System Error: Spawning All Assets ]

From Tier 1 Slimes to Tier 9 Behemoths. Even High-Ranking Demons and Void Creatures were crawling out of the glitching portals.

In an instant, the arena transformed from a duel into a Monster Mosh Pit. Lynn looked like a tiny sapling about to be bulldozed by a forest fire. A flock of crows flew over his head, cawing ominously.

"..."

"..."

Lynn slowly turned his head toward the viewing glass. He smiled, but his eyes were dead.

"Master... are you sure a Tier 2 Mage is supposed to solo the entire Monster Manual?"

[ Control Room ]

"It's over! It's over!"

Nanako panicked. She grabbed her oversized cloak and started frantically slapping the console, trying to put out the small fire that had started. Why?! This machine is usually so durable! I've headbutted it plenty of times before! Why did it break today?!

"Disciple! Just a minor glitch! Hold on! I'll fix it!"

She screamed into the microphone.

Lynn: "..."

[ Inner Voice ] [ Console malfunction? It’s probably on fire. ] [ Master breaks household appliances all the time. She has a destruction aura for electronics. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ According to her standard operating procedure... she’s about to use magic to fix it. ]

"WATER BALL!!"

Nanako shouted. She grabbed her ponytail with one hand and thrust the other forward. Sploosh. A massive sphere of water slammed into the smoking console.

Hiss... The fire was extinguished instantly.

"Disciple! Don't worry! I put the fire out!"

[ Inner Voice ] [ And... if my prediction is correct... water on electronics means the console is now officially bricked. ]

Lynn sighed.

"Oh no! Disciple! The fire is out, but the buttons aren't working anymore! The override is jammed!!"

Nanako's panicked voice came through the speakers.

"Naturally..." Lynn muttered.

[ Inner Voice ] [ Next step... The Loli Master will panic. She will try to kick the door open to rush out and save me. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ But in her haste, her left foot will trip over her right foot... and she will faceplant. ]

[ Inner Voice ] [ 3... 2... 1... ]

Abandoned

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