Chapter 40:

Sleep never again (13.1.2021)

The Sequence of Kai

I wake up. I’m back in chains. Bookmark here

This is my room, not the one from before but the one from now, the one I don’t share with Renée. Bookmark here

That thing from before is here. She’s leaning against the wall like she’s waiting. Bookmark here

“If you’re going to kill me, can you hurry up?”Bookmark here

I speak in English, which surprises her. It was pretty obvious before that she didn’t understand French, but I heard her shout at the guards in English.Bookmark here

“I haven’t decided if I’m killing you yet.”Bookmark here

“Then why are you here?”Bookmark here

“To decide that.”Bookmark here

She sits down at the foot of my bed without warning. Every time I blink the chaos of her soul threatens to blind me. Bookmark here

“What’s your name?”Bookmark here

“Kai.”Bookmark here

“Do you already know mine?”Bookmark here

“I do.”Bookmark here

This girl is like me, I can see that now. Like that invisible man too, her soul has been attached to something outside her.Bookmark here

“Kai.”Bookmark here

“What?”Bookmark here

“You have powers like mine, don’t you?”Bookmark here

She hesitates on her answer, glancing at me with suspicious eyes.Bookmark here

“…How did you know that?”Bookmark here

“I saw it. At the chateau. You didn’t kill those men, they killed you.”Bookmark here

“That they did… what’s yours?”Bookmark here

“It’s kind of hard to explain…”Bookmark here

“Just gloss over the details, you don’t have the full story of mine.”Bookmark here

Gloss over the details? It’s nothing but details.Bookmark here

“It’s like… I can see the real world… when I close my eyes, I see everything as symbols… people, things, concepts… I understand them all too much now… How long have you had your powers?”Bookmark here

“A few years, I don’t remember exactly how long.”Bookmark here

She doesn’t have a question to return on me, she just lets her body fall backwards, her face coming to rest just below my feet.Bookmark here

“Kai… can I ask you another question?”Bookmark here

“Go ahead.”Bookmark here

“… does it ever stop hurting?”Bookmark here

“Does what?”Bookmark here

“Your power, have you ever gotten used to it?”Bookmark here

“…no.”Bookmark here

The tears that had been holding themselves back start flowing down my cheeks. Bookmark here

“Can you hurry up and decide?”Bookmark here

“Tell me one thing first… This power, this ability to see things for what they really are. You can’t get rid of it. Knowing that… do you want to die?”Bookmark here

It’s such a harsh question. Of course I don’t want to die! I want life to go back to what it was, back to when I knew nothing.Bookmark here

That’s what I want… but if it’s a choice between closing my eyes and dying then….Bookmark here

“I don’t want to see anymore…”Bookmark here

Kai mounts me without a further word and presses a knife to my throat. She lets it sit in my skin for a moment, a chance for me to tell her I’ve changed her mind, that I actually can live with myself like this. Bookmark here

I’ll never be able to tell her that though.Bookmark here

She drags the knife across my neck, opening a cut from the bottom of my right cheekbone to the top of her left shoulder as I see the blood begin to stain her bedsheets. Bookmark here

The knife I stole from Trish, I thought Aaron had made it just for her but clearly, it can be used by anyone. Much like the thread, it links itself to the soul sequence of the person who uses it. Bookmark here

That’s why, when I cut Mallory’s neck, I felt the illusion of differing perspectives being washed away by the blood.Bookmark here

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