End of the Beginning

June 19th, 2017

Kenzie and I didn't act any differently with each other following that time in the promenade three days ago.

[Kenzie]: How was school?

We were told that there would be a physics test
But the teacher didn't tell us how many marks there would be in total
So the guy sitting next to me asked "What is the test out of?"
I said "My capability."
"The test is out of my capability"
It was a good day

[Kenzie]: I’ll give you a 1/10 for that
[Kenzie]: And the 1 is out of pity

O ho did you say "in a way same" out of pity too
Sorry
You don't have to answer that

[Kenzie]: Of course not
[Kenzie]: It's too weird to explain over text

Yeah let's continue that another time

[Kenzie]: Good idea
[Kenzie]: You free on 21st?

June 21st, 2017

After I was done with school, we met up near her place to clear things up. We sat under the shade of the buildings, at a stone table that seemed to be designed for Chinese chess. An ideal place for small talk.

“How was your day at school?”

“I just worked on my Theory of Knowledge presentation for a while. I guess it’s almost done.”

Both of us knew we couldn’t sit and skirt around the topic for the whole day.

“I see. Good luck with that.”

“Thanks.”

“…”

“……”

I waited, giving her a chance to say anything related to what we’d met up to talk about.

Kenzie suggested we walk around a bit more, so we stood up and walked until we found another spot. In this spot, we were directly under the cloudy afternoon sky. As we sat, we watched some children play, almost as if it were a distraction from our situation.

A kid kicked a ball that ended up in front of me, so I stood up, kicked it back, then sat back down.

That’s when she suddenly spoke.

“I can't say I don't have feelings for you, but I’m not really sure about it.”

I couldn’t exactly hear everything she said. That, or I couldn’t exactly digest that someone could feel that way about me to any extent. Or was it a bit of both?

“…Uh, sorry, I couldn’t hear you clearly.”

“I have feelings for you, but I’m not really sure about it.”

Well, I made her say it twice, and I think I heard it clearly enough the second time.

“I see.”

We talked a little more.

"You're special to me. And I really mean that."

"Mmhmm."

"But I'm not sure if I can do for you what you can do for me. And I can't say that I'm ready to go any further."

"Alright."

"I really want to keep you in my life, but if you don't think you can do this then I understand."

"Hm."

"Is that...okay with you?"

"It was a more positive reply than what I expected."

"Oh."

The sun was setting when we walked to the nearby McDonald’s, where Kenzie had arranged to meet her mother that evening. I briefly met her mother before we parted ways in the evening.

This time we didn’t part with a hug like usual, because heck, her mom was right there. Kenzie followed up with me over text.

[Kenzie]: I'm sorry for the hasty end to our meeting
[Kenzie]: Thanks for coming to have a chat!

It's alright I had the time
Your mom seemed normal enough

[Kenzie]: Yeah I went a lot better than I thought

What were you expecting...?

[Kenzie]: idk
[Kenzie]: Her first comment was just "wah so tall ah"
[Kenzie]: We had a bit of a chat and I told her the truth
[Kenzie]: I guess I was worried because of her views on my sister's boyfriends but she’s actually really chill about it

So what kinda stuff did she say?

[Kenzie]: She said she had a feeling I was hanging out with a boy

Mother knows

[Kenzie]: I wasn't fully honest with her from the beginning because she didn't know who you were

For the next two weeks, Kenzie and I were busy with vacation or academics, so the next time we met up was in July.

June 23rd, 2017

The next Friday, after Ray, Wing, and I finished studying for our history class, I updated Ray and Wing about what was going on.

"...So we think of each other as more than friends but we're not officially dating but we're still gonna hang out a lot over the summer anyway."

Ray said, "That's a weird position to be in. But good start."

Wing said, "Ayy, go you."

Ray checked with Wing, “You know who Kenzie is, right?”

“Yeah. Year above us, short, kinda athletic. She said hi to me once in April! I was surprised because I didn’t think she’d know who I was.”

I chimed in, “Oh, I told her about who you were.”

“I hope you said good things.”

“I fed her all sorts of lies about you,” I lied.

“Huh? Like what?”

“Like, you’re one of my closest friends, you’re really supportive, and you really care about your family.”

“Aw, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I hope things go well between you and Kenzie.”

“Thanks.”

She leaned over to Ray and whispered, very loudly, “That was a lie.”

Ray whispered back to Wing, very loudly, “Don’t say things out of pity.”

I chuckled. She got me there.

Wing had to leave a bit earlier, so she said “Thanks for telling me!” and left.

Then Ray threw an eraser at my head.

“Ow.”

“Headshot! WOOooo!”

“Oi.”

When I was picking up the eraser, Ray said, “Put yourself first if things get rough.”

I looked at the eraser, then looked at Ray, then decided not to throw the eraser at him. “…Okay.”

“I don’t want to give you that much more advice, because I think you won’t need it.”

“I do think I’ll be okay despite my lack of experience with this.”

“I agree. But tell me if there are any big issues.”

“Yes ma’am.”

July 4th, 2017

On July 4th, Kenzie and I chose to meet up at the promenade after a while of not being able to see each other. She gave me souvenirs from her trip, and also taught me how to braid hair that night.

"So you take three strands of hair, and keep putting the outer strand in the middle. Like this." She demonstrated as she swiftly weaved the three strands of hair between each other and produced a neat braid. Then she let go of it, leaned towards me, and asked, "You wanna try?"

“Sure.” I had no idea that braiding required three strands of hair. Carefully, I reached over and combed through a lock of her hair. It would be so easy to hurt her by accident, that it almost made me feel like she was trusting me too much. “Tell me if I’m pulling too hard.”

I split the hair into three strands.

"They're uneven. Try to make them even."

I split her hair again, then tried to do the weaving thing. Whenever I got a few layers in, I lost my hold over one or two of the strands, or accidentally mixed hairs from one strand into another strand, or something else happened to ruin the attempt.

How do girls make this look so easy?

Although I was terrible at it, she patiently sat still to let me keep experimenting on her hair.

By the time I was done, my first “complete” attempt was shaped more like a dumpling on a string than a braid. Nevertheless, I happily took a picture of it to commemorate my handiwork. She let me keep the hair tie afterwards, saying I could treat it as a gift and that she didn’t mind giving it to me because she had another one that was exactly the same.

We stayed there for a long time. Whenever we went to the promenade together, it wasn’t unusual for us to stay until almost midnight. As if we didn’t know when to leave when we were with each other there.

Like usual, we gave each other a hug before parting ways.

July 5th, 2017

When I got back home and my mom asked me why I was coming home so late, I told her that I was roaming around by myself.

It didn’t matter if it wasn’t that believable, but I just didn't really want to say anything about it. I knew I probably wouldn't be able to hide this from my parents forever, but I'd deal with that in due time.