Chapter 26:

The Epic of Boss (4)

A Kat's (GOD AWFUL!!!) Blessing

Kat’s mom led everyone upstairs to the kitchen, where she prepared coffee for herself and Maria, and a bowl of water for Boss and the kitten, as neither of them seemed to understand the concept of lifting a cup to their face to drink.

Ludwig, meanwhile, had his food bowl filled with cat food. But before he could begin chowing down, the kitten knelt down next to him, staring at the food with a stream of drool running down her mouth.

“Um…” Ludwig said, looking up at the humanoid kitten. He was hesitant at relinquishing his breakfast, but the more he looked at her, the more he felt guilty. Finally, he succumbed to her charm. “Okay! Fine! Here, kid. Enjoy,” he said, pushing the bowl over to her before leaving the room to take a nap.

“Thanks!” she replied before shoving her face into the bowl. “Delicious!”

The sight of her human-like form crouching on the ground devouring his food made everyone in the room uncomfortable. It was like watching a homeless child eating off the floor.

Kat’s mom couldn’t stand to keep watching, so she politely took the bowl and put it on the table for her to eat.

“Once again, I am indebted to your household for its hospitality to myself and my fellow strays,” Boss said, bowing his head to Kat and her mom.

“That night we spent here was a lot of fun!” the kitten chirped up, bits of crumbs embedded into her face.

“Aaww, I’m so happy you had a good time!” Kat’s mom said, petting the top of the kitten’s head. She absolutely adored how tiny and cute the little catgirl was. “You guys are always welcome if you need some assistance!”

The kitten giggled, loving the attention and head rubs she was receiving.

“I appreciate it,” Boss said.

“I brought them here hoping that you might have something for them to wear,” Maria said. “There isn’t anything big enough at my place that would fit Boss, and while Carlos’ clothes could fit her,” she said, motioning her hand to the kitten, “I’m afraid her tail proved to be an issue.”

Kat’s mom’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Is that so? Well, I think I might have something for you two. Would you like to come with me for a bit and try on some outfits?” she asked the kitten.

The kitten nodded enthusiastically, unsure of what Kat’s mom meant by “try on outfits,” but considering how nice she seemed it was surely fine. “Sure! Sounds fun!”

Kat’s mom led the kitten downstairs, both with giant grins stretching across their faces.

“Oh geez,” Kat said, resting her head on her hand. “She’s gonna use her as a giant dress-up doll.”

“Is this something I should be worried about?” Boss asked.

“Don’t mind Kat,” Maria said, taking a sip of her coffee. “But I will say, I’m surprised how quickly that little one is adapting to her situation.”

Boss nodded. “I’m sure she views this as one giant game, not realizing how serious of a predicament we’ve found ourselves in.”

“I didn’t even know that that cat god could even do that,” Kat said. “Turning me into a catgirl has some logic to it, them being a cat deity and all. But a cat into a cat person? I figured that’d be more along the lines of some sort of similar human god.”

“There seems to be a lot about this deity that we don’t know about,” Maria said.

“Indeed,” Boss replied. “The Cat God said it meant well by its blessings when I confronted it last night and mentioned your situation, Kat.”

Kat sighed. “Seems like it’s more of a cat trickster god than anything. By the way, where’s the rest of the Kingdom of Cats?”

Boss shook his head. “I do not know.”

Maria chimed in. “It turned out they were camping in my barn for the night. But when I checked early this morning, they were all gone.”

“We had planned to vacate your barn before the sun rises, so it came as no surprise that they were gone,” Boss commented.

“Then you guys still haven’t found a new place to live yet?” Kat asked.

Boss looked down at his hands. The paws he had known all his life had been replaced with these weird appendages that he still couldn’t quite figure out how to use properly. “With each passing day without a permanent home, the Kingdom of Cats moves closer to collapsing. Word of disbanding keeps popping up behind my back. Those who are capable of surviving on their own do not see the benefit of having to slow their pace for those weaker than them while we’re constantly on the move. The only thing keeping everyone together is their belief in my leadership. And yet…” He pounded the table in frustration. “The Kingdom of Cats is amidst its darkest hour, and yet I’m separated from them, stuck like this!”

Kat felt a large burden of guilt, hearing how much they were struggling now, considering she was partially responsible for them having to search for a new home in the first place. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “It’s my fault that you’re in this mess to begin with.”

“Do not hoist all the blame upon your shoulders, for much of it belongs on mine as well.”

“You all are free to stay on my family’s farm,” Maria said. “Or the very least, until you manage to find somewhere new that you all would prefer.”

Boss looked up at Maria, then glanced away. After some contemplating, he nodded. “If you would be so kind. On behalf of the Kingdom of Cats, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“You sure your folks would be okay with it?” Kat asked.

“If it could potentially be a problem—” Boss started to say.

Maria shook her hand. “Once we bring up the circumstances to my parents, I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to assist any way they can.”

Boss bowed. “The Kingdom of Cats is in your debt.”

“So Boss! Tell me everything that happened last night!” Kat asked eagerly, hoping that she could get new information on locating The Cat God.

Obliging to Kat’s request, Boss explained what occurred last night in as great detail as he could. Once he finished, Kat slouched back into her seat, disappointed by learning absolutely nothing new. “So basically exactly what happened to me, more or less. Great. I’m back at square one, yet again.”

“At least we now know that it’s still in the area,” Maria said, trying to cheer Kat up.

“I guess,” Kat said, her spirits lifting a bit. “But that means we’re gonna have to aimlessly run around again like we did from the start.”

“That’s true,” Maria said.

The two sighed.

“I’ll do my best to assist in finding The Cat God,” Boss said.

Kat smiled. “I’m sure with your knowledge of the area, we’ll have an easier time tracking it down.”

Boss nodded.

Seconds later, they heard the sound of light footsteps running up the stairs. Scampering into the kitchen was the kitten, wearing a yellow dress with puffy short sleeves. A large white ribbon went around her stomach and tied into a large bow on her back. The bow rested just above her fluffy tail, which popped out of a slit cut into the fabric of the dress. It swished back and forth in excitement.

“Boss! Look! I’m a human now!” she said cheerfully.

“Indeed,” he responded.

Kat’s mom came up the stairs moments later. “Isn’t she just the most adorable thing in the world? Ah, I wish I could keep her!” she said, pressing her face against the kitten’s as she hugged her.

Maria blushed from the sight of the kitten’s cuteness. “Quite. I wonder how she would look in a gothic lolita outfit.”

“Ooh!” Kat’s mom shouted. “I might just have something—”

Kat quickly jumped in. “Yes, yes. She’s cute and you two would love to play dress-up. But we don’t have time for that right now.”

Kat’s mom cleared her throat. “Okay, you’re up next, Mr. Boss. Let’s see what I can do for you.”

“Oh, I am in no need of clothes,” he politely declined. “In fact, I find this robe that was forced upon me limiting my movement and increases my body temperature when walking under the sun. I think I will go without after we’re done here.”

Everyone stared blankly at Boss.

The awkward silence confused him. “Is there something wrong?”

“Ahem,” Maria fake cleared her throat. “While something like that is fine with animals, in human society one must cover themselves up as not to be indecent.”

“What do you mean?” Boss asked sincerely, still not understanding the situation.

Maria blushed. “It’s just that, well, when I saw you shortly after you transformed, there were... issues...”

“You can’t let your pee-pee just hang out all willy nilly,” Kat’s mom butt in, tired of dancing around the subject. “Humans cover themselves because you can get into serious trouble if you go around exposing your private parts.”

“Ah! I understand now,” Boss said. “I guess it’s true that I’ve never seen a human without some sort of covering. Very well. As long as I am in this form and partake in human society, I will abide by its societal rules.”

“If you'd be so kind as to follow me,” Kat’s mom said, putting an arm around Boss’ shoulder and leading him downstairs.

Kat watched as her mom and Boss left the kitchen. Once they were out of sight, she smiled wryly as she crept up next to Maria and leaned on her shoulder. “Did ya see it?”

Maria abstained from answering, but the blush on her face made the answer obvious.

“You did, didn’t ya?” Kat teased.

Again, Maria refrained from speaking up.

“How big was it? Huh?”

With that question, Maria responded by smacking Kat on the head with her parasol.

“Ow!” Kat cried in pain.

Maria stood up and took the kitten’s hand. “Come, little one. Let us get away from this degenerate before she taints your innocent soul with her disgusting filth.”

“Okay!” the kitten responded.

Maria led the kitten to the living room.

“I’m no degenerate!” Kat barked.