A Day at the Zoo

I was mentally exhausted after a day spent focusing solely on homework, and I ended up going to bed early in the hopes that I would get a good night’s sleep. However, my mind seemed to have other ideas, and the reality of the situation I had agreed to slowly made my thoughts – and eventually, my dreams – devolve into absolute chaos. What little sleep I did manage to get was troubled, as nervous anticipation formed a knot inside my chest.

I growled at my alarm when it rang early the next morning, and fumbled with my phone to turn it off, irritably tossing aside my tangled covers as I rolled out of bed, still half-asleep, and headed straight for the shower. Thankfully, the hot water managed to revitalize me a bit, and I followed it up with a cup of coffee while I threw open my tiny closet and pondered what I should wear.

“Not like I have many options, here,” I grumbled aloud, rifling through the variety of graphic t-shirts and school uniforms until finally I found a white-striped, blue button-up that I determined to be suitable for the occasion.

I quickly admired myself in the mirror, ignoring the bags beneath my eyes while I vainly tried to tame my wild bedhead. Getting nowhere with it, I checked the time on my phone, only to find that not only was it past the time I had intended to leave, but a notification from my weather app read, Rain expected later this evening.

Great, I thought, grabbing a foldable umbrella and stuffing it into my sling bag before strapping the pouch across my chest and bolting out the door.

Thankfully everything went smoothly from there onwards, and one bus ride later, I arrived shortly before our arranged time. Nine o’clock came and went as I endeavored to get my nerves under control, and luckily, I did not have to wait much longer before Ruri appeared, emerging from the crowd and immediately beaming in my direction. At first, I barely even recognized her, dressed in a plaid yellow skirt and lime green tank top, a matching wide-brimmed hat half-hiding her red locks except for where they trailed down to frame her thin face.

Transfixed at the sight of her, I shook myself as she got close and tilted her head up to examine me, innocently flapping her long eyelashes as she asked, “What’s the matter, TK? You look kinda out of it.”

“Ah, i-it’s n-nothing!” I stammered, pointedly looking away from her. Glancing at her out of the corner of my eye as I felt my cheeks flush, I muttered, “You, ah…you look really nice today, that’s all.”

“Oh, thank you,” she murmured, eyeing me up and down. Seeing how much work she’d put in, and reminded of my eternally spiky hairdo, I felt as if I didn’t deserve her praise as she replied, “You look nice too, TK.”

Clearing my throat in an attempt to break the awkward silence, I said, “Should we get moving?”

Following my lead and matching my pace as I set out, she asked amusedly, “Oh? Are you in some sort of hurry? To get back to that mountain of schoolwork, perhaps?”

Got me, I thought, trying my best to laugh off her snide remark. “Well, it’s supposed to rain later today, after all. And it’s not a mountain, not anymore. It’s more like a molehill, now. Or at least a small knoll.”

“Rain?” She wondered, casting a dubious glance towards the cloudless sky. With a chuckle, she skipped a few steps ahead of me and turned around to walk backwards, scolding me with a finger waved in my face, “Listen to me, TK. Today you aren’t allowed to think about any of that, okay? Today, it’s just you, and me.”

Her lighthearted tone alleviated a bit of the tension I had felt, and with a grin, I relented, “Yeah, yeah. Just you and me, I promise.”

“Good. You know, we had our very first date here at this zoo, so it’s got extra special significance.”

“Significance I can’t remember,” I said glumly, as we bought our tickets and made our way into the zoo proper.

“You will,” Ruri said, not a shred of anything other than pure confidence in her tone.

“Thanks, Ruri.” Her tenacity’s really something, I thought amusedly, I kind of admire that.

I mostly just followed along as Ruri excitedly led the way from exhibit to exhibit, stars in her eyes as she pressed her face up against the bars and snapped pictures with her phone. It was clear that she had been looking forward to this outing of ours for quite some time.

But every twist and turn presented some new opportunity for her to relive a memory of hers with me, and as the day dragged on, I slowly found that resolve of hers beginning to grate on my nerves.

The best I could do was listen and nod as she babbled on about how I had argued with the monkeys or got the dolphins to do a trick, only to be met with a sad look when she realized that nothing she tried was helping me at all. I could not properly explain why, but for some reason it made me feel bad, even guilty. I knew that was not her intention, but even so, I found myself growing irritable as the day went on, exacerbated by my lack of sleep and the return of my persistent headache. Slowly, an unspoken awkwardness arose between us.

It’s not like I don’t understand where she’s coming from, I reasoned. She spent two weeks waiting while I was in a coma. What must that have been like for her, wondering if I would ever wake up? And when I finally did, I don’t even remember anything about her. For her, on some level, it must feel like I actually died that night.

The mighty roar of a lion snapped me out of my thoughts as Ruri gasped and stumbled backwards into me, nearly knocking me over. Laughing, she apologized as she pulled herself away, “Sorry TK, the lions always make me jump!”

At least she seems to be enjoying herself, I chuckled, following as she wandered over to the next exhibit. My laughter died off as a voice in the back of my head taunted, I thought returning to my normal life would help, but is it really fair to her to continue like this? It’s like she’s clinging to the ghost of who I was, and what we had might never come back, after all. If things keep going like this, it’s only going to continue to hurt her over and over again.

Sensing my mood waver, Ruri pointed at a nearby food stall and exclaimed, “Look over there, TK! Let’s go get something to snack on.” She grabbed my arm, and practically dragged me along with her as she told the elderly vendor, “One strawberry popsicle, please.”

“I’ll have a vanilla one, then,” I said, as the man looked at me with a questioning gaze, and stood aside to wait while he retrieved our orders.

“You know, the first time we came here, you got the same thing,” Ruri commented, laughing as she accepted her pink popsicle and took a lick, “and you were so nervous that you ended up dropping some on yourself and getting this really noticeable stain. You were so embarrassed!”

Thanking the man and taking my own popsicle, I turned back to her and said without thinking, “Well, that sounds like a memory I really wouldn’t mind having forgotten, then.”

Ruri missed a step, pausing for a moment before replying in a somber tone, “Oh, you think so? Well for me, it’s one of my most cherished memories, and I wouldn’t ever want to forget it.”

“You just like picking on me, don’t you?” I joked with a shrug, “I mean, first you gave me a weird nickname that caught on with everyone, and now you’re bragging about enjoying my torment…”

Rolling her eyes, she said in a measured tone, “If you must know, that was the first time I’d ever seen you be anything other than cool and collected. Up until that point, I thought you were mister perfect, and I was hitting way out of my league. But now, I know better.”

I took a bite of my popsicle as her words pulled at something deep within my chest. At length, I chastised her, “See? There you go making fun of me again.” She shot me a wry glance, and we let the matter drop, for a while wandering onward in silence.

We soon found ourselves in an area that was elevated above its surroundings, where we could see out over the entirety of the compound, and despite the view, it was oddly vacant. Ruri leaned against the metal railing as she licked the last of her popsicle, staring out into the distance thoughtfully.

“Hey, TK? Just making sure, here…but you really don’t remember anything from before, like at all? Not even anything from the night of the accident?”

Stepping up against the railing beside her, I replied, “Sorry. No matter what my family tried back in Ashoro, it didn’t seem to make any difference. And my dad tried some really strange things.”

A sad smile touching her lips, she admitted, “I can only imagine. He’s always had some bizarre tendencies, that’s for sure. Still, I really thought that today would spark something in that head of yours.” She let out an exasperated sigh and growled, “I can understand why you remembered your own mother so easily, but you remembered that Kenji guy right away, too. There’s gotta be something else we can try!”

I frowned at the spike of annoyance that arose within me at her insistence, tersely responding, “Ruri, I appreciate it, but there’s no use in trying to rush this.”

“Are you sure, though? I feel like if I could just find something that would be a strong enough trigger, it’d all come back for you. How about –”

It was then that my irritation which had been growing throughout the day finally boiled over, and I snapped.