Chapter 31: The Chuunibyou Patient

I was kidnapped in broad daylight... by someone who likely believes they're living in a mid-season anime filler arc. My life has officially hit rock bottom.

The black sedan sped down the road, slicing through the morning silence like a cold blade. Inside, Mayonaka Nozomi sat in a pensive hush. Beside her, a woman with raven-black hair, sharp blue eyes behind spectacles, was focused on a tablet.

"Well, Miss?" she asked, her voice a flat monotone. "What was the answer from the man you fancy?"

Nozomi stared out the window, watching the world blur. "It seems I’ve lost." She offered a frail, ghost-like smile. "I arrived too late for that, too."

The manager paused her reading.

"But... as long as I can remain by his side," Nozomi continued softly, her voice barely a whisper, "that will be enough."

The car surged forward, as if her feelings were a weight the engine was desperate to outrun.

Meanwhile, I was staring at the calendar. July 30th.

One month to go. August 6th was approaching—the day my parents were scheduled to return, and coincidentally, Kanon’s 20th birthday. For reasons I couldn't quite articulate, I found myself anticipating it.

I let out a weary sigh. "...Maybe I’ll apologize to her then."

The morning sky was brilliant, the kind of blue that felt like the world was pretending it didn't harbor a single problem.

"Good morning, Kengo."

I turned. Kurumi was standing there, a radiant smile gracing her lips. "Good morning."

"You look a bit brighter today," she noted. "That's rare for you."

"You could say that. My parents are coming back on the 6th. They want to throw a family event."

"Heeh? A party?" Kurumi let out a soft laugh. "I’m actually jealous. My parents just got back from Europe, too. It feels... warm."

We walked side-by-side. The conversation was light, effortless, and utterly normal. Usually, that’s a harbinger of impending doom.

CRASH!

A girl slammed into a trash can, her bicycle flipping over in a spectacular mess of metal and plastic. She had short, blue-black hair and eyes that gleamed like crimson gems. Kurumi and I rushed over immediately.

"Are you okay? Any injuries?"

"Ouch... ow..." she muttered. Then, she stood up. Instantly. As if the laws of physics didn't apply to her. "That was close..." she said, her voice dripping with unnecessary drama. "It's a good thing I have regenerative abilities. Otherwise, Nox might have stolen my blood."

I went dead silent. Kurumi glanced at me, bewildered. "...What is 'Nox'?"

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "A manga character. An organization that steals blood to shapeshift."

The girl immediately pointed a finger at me. "You know the details... that means you're a member of the Resistance!"

Kurumi’s confusion deepened. "Member of the... what?"

I looked at the girl with a flat expression. "Give it a rest. You're hallucinating. Do you have any actual wounds or not?"

"Of course not!" she declared proudly. "We of the Resistance are trained for this!"

I dragged a hand over my face. "Please return to reality."

"D-damn you!" she barked. "How dare you!"

"Face the truth. It's bitter, I know."

She ground her teeth. "You aren't human! Nox must have already taken your form!" She pointed at me accusingly. "Just you wait, Nox! You'll regret this!"

Then she bolted. Fast. Incredibly fast. At the very least, her physical conditioning was athletic.

In class, I thought the ordeal was over. I was wrong.

I felt a gaze. Sharp. Piercing. Like a predator that had finally found its prey after days of starvation. I turned my head. It was her.

"Found you..."

Why do I feel like the final boss of a video game?

"Nozomi-sama!"

Nozomi entered the classroom, and the girl’s demeanor shifted instantly. "N-Nozomi-sama! This is dire! Nox has infiltrated your inner circle by shapeshifting into your friend!" She pointed at me.

"Oi—I already told you, that's fiction!"

"Nozomi!" she continued, her voice grave. "If left unchecked, he will mimic everyone else!"

I let out a long, suffering breath. "You are way too far gone!"

Kurumi stood up, her patience finally fraying. "Enough. You're disturbing the others."

The girl stared at Kurumi. Then, she bowed her head. "Understood, Her Majesty Elizabeth."

Kurumi froze. "...Who?"

Elizabeth? Seriously?

"I shall consider this a ceasefire," the girl added coldly. "But don't expect to live in peace, Nox." Then she vanished. Just like that.

"...What is wrong with that kid?" I muttered.

"Don't take her seriously," Kurumi said. "She’s probably just joking."

"Joking? That felt like a threat."

Nozomi walked over. "I'm sorry. She's always been like that. She’s my neighbor."

I stared at the door. For some reason, I had a very bad feeling about this.

After university, the sky began to bruise into twilight. I was walking home alone. It was quiet. Peaceful.

"Sssst..."

I stopped. Out of the shadows, she emerged. Asahi. Why is everything always so dramatic with her?

"I told you," she said softly, "that you would regret this."

"I also told you—"

"SILENCE!" She raised her hand. "Squad—seize him!"

"Hah—?!"

Suddenly, a burlap sack was shoved over my head. "OI—?!"

I struggled, but it was useless. I was hoisted up and dragged away like a scene from a low-budget kidnapping flick. This wasn't a rom-com anymore. This was a felony.

Minutes later, the sack was ripped off. I blinked, adjusting to the dim light of a cluttered, dusty space. A warehouse? In front of me, Asahi stood in a dramatic pose. A broom served as her sword; a tattered blanket functioned as a cape.

"Welcome..." she said, her voice dropping an octave, "to the Resistance headquarters."

I stared at her. For a long, agonizingly long time.

"...This is the shed behind the school, isn't it?"

Silence. A draft whistled through the cracks in the wall.

"Asahi." "Yes?" "You really are... a terminal chuunibyou patient."

She pointed her broom at me. "And you—are the ultimate enemy of this world!"

I let out a long sigh. It seemed my morning peace was an illusion I had been far too quick to believe in. And now, I was being held captive by a girl who thinks I'm a global threat.

Great. Just fantastic.