Chapter 1: "Youth is a Lie Wrapped in Effort; Laziness is the Only Truth"

"They say youth is the springtime of life—a period where energy explodes and eternal friendships are forged under the sparkling sun... What pathetic nonsense."

For me, Nara Hiro, youth is nothing more than an 'Energy Tax' I have no intention of paying. Why do these fools run after a football or sweat in cooking clubs when they could simply... do nothing?

Just as I finished praising laziness in my mind, reality struck—the harsh sound of paper slamming against a wooden desk.

"Nara-san..."

I opened my eyes slowly, protesting the bright light piercing my weary eyelids. Standing there with an unlit cigarette (kept only as decor for her emotional stress since smoking is banned on campus) was Shizuka-sensei. The English teacher who hunts for a groom with the same fervor she uses to find a grammatical error in my papers.

"Nara-san, I asked the class to write an essay about 'Your Future Dreams' in English... so what is this rubbish you’ve handed me?"

She snatched the paper and began reading, her voice trembling with rage: "Future is a scam designed to steal my naps... Ambition is a disease, and I am immune."

She fell silent for a second, then gave me a strange look—a mix of contempt and hidden admiration. "What surprises me isn’t your empty words, but how a student who sleeps through 90% of my classes knows complex words like 'Immune' and 'Scam'? Do you only use your intellect to justify your social failure?"

I sighed deeply, trying not to close my eyes again. "Sensei... learning difficult words is necessary so I can decline exhausting offers with elegance. Ignorance requires effort to explain, but complex terminology ends the discussion quickly."

That was the wrong answer. I noticed a vein throbbing in her forehead—the preparatory move for her famous gut punch.

I didn’t have time to finish my philosophical sentence. In a fraction of a second, Shizuka-sensei’s fist moved with a speed unbefitting of a woman who spends half her day browsing marriage sites.

"POW!"

Her fist buried itself right into the center of my stomach. I felt like my lungs had decided to resign from their jobs simultaneously. I bent forward, clutching my belly, while the dust particles on the office floor suddenly looked very interesting up close.

"Ugh... I... I’m... sorry... Sensei..." I stammered, my voice sounding choked as if I were dying.

But deep inside my skull, where her fist couldn't reach, the 'Real Nara' was screaming at the top of his lungs: (Damn this single witch! Is she venting her emotional frustration on my intestines? Go find a victim for your miserable marriage far away from my liver!)

Shizuka pulled her hand back, shaking it as if she had just swatted a bothersome insect. She sat back behind her desk, crossing her legs coldly while her sharp gaze pierced through me.

"Nara-san, I’ll give you one last chance to save your future, which looks as bleak as a dark room," she said in a threatening tone. "Rewrite the essay. And in the correct format this time. If I see a single line of your existential drivel again... I swear I’ll kick you out of Seishin Academy before you even have the chance to yawn."

I grabbed the edge of the desk to regain my balance, the pain in my stomach a reminder that laziness in this world carries a heavy tax. "Fine... I’ll put in... 'Effort'..." I spat out the last word like it was pure poison.

After I regained my breath, Shizuka-sensei gave me a "wicked" look that sent a shiver down my spine. This wasn't the look of a teacher; it was the look of a hunter who had found the perfect prey to solve her chronic headache.

"I just remembered something... Follow me, Hiro-kun," she said sharply, cutting through the hallways with confident strides.

I walked behind her, clutching my stomach, muttering words only I could hear: (Damn you, you predatory monster... where are you leading me? Have you decided to dispose of my body in the school basement because I exposed your emotional misery?)

The scenery began to change. The polished floors and noisy students vanished, replaced by the "Abandoned Block." Dark corridors, dust dancing in thin rays of light, and walls that looked like they hadn't felt a human touch in centuries. The silence was so heavy I could hear my panicked heartbeat.

Shizuka suddenly stopped in front of a door in a hallway that looked suspiciously "clean" amidst the ruin. I stopped right behind her. Without turning, she asked: "Did you just say something cynical?"

I broke into a cold sweat. "No... nothing, Sensei. I was just... admiring the beauty of the school." (Muttering to himself): "Great... it seems Sensei intends to get rid of me in the most gruesome way possible."

She threw the door open. The room inside was a stark contrast to the outside; clean, organized, and smelling of old paper. In the center was a round table, and in the corner was a sofa that seemed to be calling out to me for a nap... but sitting in one of the chairs was her.

A girl with midnight-black hair flowing over her shoulders and eyes as sharp as a hawk’s, which pierced through me the moment I entered. She didn’t fully look up from her book, merely giving me a condescending glance that made me feel like an insect that had stumbled into a scientific laboratory.

"Oi, Alissa-san," Shizuka called out. "I’ve brought you a new student for your club."

Alissa closed her book very slowly, then directed her lethal gaze toward me. "Did you bring me a wild beast? Look at him... he looks like a zombie who just crawled out of his grave and wants to eat me. Sorry Sensei, I won't accept this deformed creature into my club."

(What’s with this arrogant brat? Does she think she’s the center of the universe?) The Real Nara screamed in my mind. (Who does she think she is to decide my fate with that cold beauty of hers?)

I spoke aloud this time, trying to reclaim what was left of my shattered dignity. "It’s not like I want to join anyway... there’s a monster behind me threatening me, otherwise I’d be home right now enjoying—"

I didn't finish. I felt Shizuka's violent kick land right on my backside, launching me into the room like a rejected mail parcel.

"Alissa!" Shizuka said seriously. "If this idiot doesn't join, the club will be shut down. You're lacking members, as you know. Besides..." she looked at me with contempt, "...he’s a perfect student for this place. He doesn't have a single friend, he’s pathologically lazy, and he's weird enough to make you doubt his humanity."

A heavy silence fell over the room. Alissa looked at me as if I were an ink stain that had ruined an expensive piece of white paper. She let out a long breath, then tilted her head coldly toward the teacher.

"Fine... it’s not like I’m in a position to refuse. After all, you are the supervisor here, Sensei," Alissa said in a deep voice that felt like the touch of ice. Then she turned her gaze back to me, pointing her index finger sharply: "But just so you know, 'Mass of Cynicism'... stay one meter away from me—no, make it two! I don't want your dust-filled clothes of laziness anywhere near my personal space."

A spark of anger ignited inside me despite my dormant nerves. "Oi! Are you treating me like a contagious disease now? I’m the one who should be afraid of freezing to death because of your coldness that puts the school’s refrigerator to shame!"

Shizuka-sensei let out an amused laugh, looking at us as if she were watching a cheap comedy play. "Oh my... you two are perfectly in sync, I see! Like two sides of the same weird coin."

In that moment, with terrifying precision, Alissa and I shouted at the same time, with the exact same tone of disgust: "Don’t pair me with this creature!"

Shizuka’s smile widened. She turned her back to us, waving her hand with irritating indifference. "Hai, hai... do as you wish. Just try not to kill each other before the end of the day."

She stepped out and slammed the door with a sharp creak, leaving the echo of her footsteps fading in the abandoned hallway. Suddenly... silence fell on the room like a collapsing wall.

(Thinking internally with a calm, annoyed tone): "Damn... this scene... it’s exactly like the beginning of some third-rate, stupid romance novel. What now? Is she going to fall in love with me or something?"