Fake Friends With Benefits

In a turn of events that didn’t faze me anymore, Mamie brought me to a sex room, bright and windowless. If it were me from two weeks ago, I would have frothed at the mouth at the prospect of getting laid. She charged ahead to plop down on the mattress, evoking a crunch from the disposable paper sheets. Okay, it was getting difficult not to see this as an invitation to…

“I know taekwondo.”

Yep, it was easy to dismiss the idea after that.

I pressed my forehead in hopes of quelling my growing headache. “What did you even bring me here for?”

“I like to book these rooms as a quiet place to study. Good ventilation. Soundproof. Fragrant air. Just the right temperature.”

“That doesn’t answer why I’m here.”

“Oh, the booking gets nullified if I get here too late. And it didn’t feel right to leave a crying boy outside.” She exhibited a smirk that didn’t fit her at all, but it felt cute instead of condescending. Still, if I weren’t so fatigued, I would protest how she insinuated that I was on the same level as a helpless, lost child.

“Doesn’t it bother you that in the other rooms, someone is…”

“Having sex? Isn’t it the same for the dorms? The walls are thick, but sometimes I can still faintly hear the moans.” She traced her finger along the creases on the sheets as she spoke.

I thought those were bird calls…

To distract myself from the revelation that perhaps had ruined my remaining time at the residence, I stepped into the adjoining miniature bathroom and went directly to the sink. The dampness plaguing my being had subsided, but my brown eyes had taken on a bloodshot crimson. I didn’t realize how miserable I looked until I checked the mirror.

Normally, my reflection would imbue me with a boost of confidence. But at the moment, my black hair was in jumbled chaos; my skin took on a red tint that made me look sunburnt. I looked more like a drug addict than a pretty bachelor who could easily qualify for any dating reality show. Many of those bachelors would end up as drug addicts, but that wasn’t my point.

Does it even matter what I looked like? This question might have been worded too strongly. Of course it was better to be prettier. But was it enough? Thinking about the past two weeks, even with my looks and Professor Silva’s wisdom, I had still been seized by setback after setback. All these bad things happening to me forced me to realize one thing: I might have been wrong about Professor Silva’s work.

I needed to reread them so that I could interpret them correctly.

It was up to me to turn this situation around. I needed to put in more effort and take it even more seriously. Before I could revisit those books, it might be best to trust my instincts for now. They had granted me popularity in high school; perhaps they could at least keep things from getting worse. With a splash of clear tap water on my face, the cold moisture shed the pitiful tension from my skin, dispelling the melancholic haze in my mind.

A breath flowed into my lungs, leaving me refreshed and revitalized. My shoulders broadened, and my chest stuck out; this was the most confident pose I could strike. Ready to charm Mamie, I strode out of the bathroom with a wide smile plastered across my face.

And she didn’t look up from her tablet.

“I feel better now.” This should be enough to fish for her attention.

“Great. Don’t let the Ace Maiden discourage you. She has expelled over half of her mentees,” she said WITHOUT even a glance at me.

My smile faded despite my efforts to maintain it. “Why is she allowed to do that?”

“The school can normally reject the expulsion proposal, but the Ace Maiden has too high a standing in the industry. At least you got what might be the best sex of your life.”

Fond memories of the heavenly hour spent with the Ace Maiden surfaced in my heart, but the torrent of anger was stronger. My face simmered with a suffocating warmth again. Was the experience really that good? And also… “Why are you talking about my expulsion so casually?”

“You said you were feeling better.”

Well, she should have read between the lines. That was when she had the gall to criticize me for not controlling my facial expressions properly. “That was obviously a lie! What the hell! And you are telling me that you passed Practical Psychology?”

“It was just a joke. Obviously, I can see from your face that you are still bothered.” Nope, she couldn’t ‘see’ anything. Her gaze was still concentrated on her goddamn tablet.

“How does this make it better? You are still-”

“There might be a way to cancel your expulsion.”

“Senpai… have I ever complimented your hair?” My sweet smile returned, and my hands rubbed against one another like a cartoon villain.

Mamie snickered and finally let her gaze wander from her tablet to me. “You really, really need to put more time into Expressive Arts.”

I didn’t think about her comments too deeply. She could insult me any other time she liked. That sounded wrong, or maybe it was fine for her to berate me as long as I could continue at the college. “Can you tell me more about how I can cancel my expulsion?”

She shook her head with a sigh, as if I were an annoying alarm that she had forgotten to cancel, and placed her accursed tablet aside. “My mom works at the Union. She has some connections that might help, but…”

A playful grin ran across her face, and I swore a devious light flashed in her jade eyes. “What’s in it for me?”

I already knew the answer. Despite Mamie’s comments, the two weeks of Expressive Arts lectures had given me a lot of insight. The teacher was still going over the basics of voice and facial expression control, but just basking in the atmosphere of the class had given me more confidence in my seduction skills.

My smile widened as I marched to Mamie and leaned my face as close to hers as possible. Mamie’s expression dropped back to her signature scowl, but that could just be a way for her to hide her embarrassment. The concealment tactics didn’t seem to be working, as her cheeks still took on a rosy tint, and I could feel the heat of her breath brushing against me.

I had overextended myself a bit more than I’d planned, and so we were within kissing distance. Holding back my urge to press my lips against hers, I continued with my enchanting offer. “Is there anything… anything you waaaaaaooooooouch!”

Mamie had slammed her knee into my crotch. I could tell that she held back how much force she used, but the pain still shot through my soul all the same. “I told you I knew taekwondo!” She said in a self-righteous tone. The twinge dragged me down onto the floor, and the only thing I could do was to clutch my family jewels.

“In what fucking world was that taekwondo…” My protest came out as a whisper, but I didn’t think she heard it.

“Anyway, I forgive you. As for what you can do for me, my mom has been complaining that I can’t find anyone to be my partner in sexual practices, so…” She twirled her hair like an innocent, gentle girl who was about to confess to her crush, while in reality, only the ‘girl’ part described her accurately.

The pain started to recede, and I could finally talk without wincing. “You want me to be your fake boyfriend.”

“No, we’ll be fake friends with benefits.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to have sex with you.”