Ajarakamokuren, tekerettsu no pa

What a load of crap- when's it gonna end?

I’m getting sick and tired of this.

Just let me go already.

Tsubasa practically drags the man’s unconscious body from the couch to the tatami room next door by his shins. He grabs the futon from inside the closet and puts it on the man passed out on the floor below him.

Isamu Suzuki is now comfortably sleeping on his futon, which is originally supposed to be his.

Tsubasa sighs.

The boy stands on the bottom part of the futon by the man’s feet.

At least he’s fine for now.

But the longer he stays beside this old man, the faster he will die.

In the end, he doesn’t end up killing another adult. Even though he usually hates adults.

Her father is probably going to end up hating or fearing him for the last remaining days.

He can hear the faint footsteps in the corridor. The door slides open.

It is Yua. She is clad in pink pajamas with a design similar to what her father wore earlier.

“Ah, I’m sorry Yua. Did I wake you up?”

Yua shakes her head.

Tsubasa chuckles. She is lying. He is pretty sure he made some noise earlier. Her father is pretty heavy after all.

He stands still at the foot of the bed without moving an inch. Tsubasa is unable to move from his spot due to a rule. A small rule he cannot overlook by any means necessary.

“Hey, Yua? I’ve got a small favor to ask.”

Her eyes widen. She nods enthusiastically. Tsubasa is not a person who asks for favors that often after all. Yua is glad to help.

“Are you familiar with the rakugo story Shinigami?”

Yua shakes her head. She does not have her phone, so she just stares at him in silence.

He expects her not to know what it is. The boy simply smiles at her.

“Ajarakamokuren, tekerettsu no pa.”

Yua tilts her head in confusion.

“Repeat after me. Of course, you can’t say it verbally, so you just have to mouth the words for me. Then clap twice, and that’s it!”

Yua thinks for a while, then nods.

“Okay? Here I go.”

Yua opens her mouth, mouthing every word.

“Ajarakamokuren, tekerettsu no pa.”

Both of them clap twice after saying that phrase.

Tsubasa can finally move from his spot.

He walks towards the side of the room and takes another look inside the closet. There is no extra futon left except for a zabuton or pillow inside.

He grabs the pillow and practically drags it on the floor as he puts it down on the other side of the room. The boy casually lies down on the floor and puts his head on the pillow.

He is used to sleeping on the floor, so he does not find a problem with this situation.

As he is about to close his eyes, he feels the pillow yanked from under him. His head hits the ground with a loud thud.

“Ow?!”

He looks up to see Yua pouting the same way she did the last time she was mad. She is now glaring down at him.

The girl forcefully grabs him by the wrist and drags him upstairs to another corridor.

He does not want to go upstairs, but now he has no choice but to cooperate as Yua has a near death grip on his wrist.

The layout of this house is still the same as it was before.

They walk up the stairs, and he knows that the room in front of them is another Western-style room, originally his grandma's, and the door behind them leads to another traditional tatami room.

That tatami room behind them used to be his former room.

As expected, Yua turns around and makes her way to that dreaded room in particular.

Each step towards that door feels like walking on broken glass to Tsubasa.

He is stuck in the present moment. She is still dragging him towards their destination.

It is as if he is heading towards his death yet again.

Tsubasa slowly makes his way across the corridor. Each step he takes feels heavier than the last as Yua doesn’t look behind her to check on him.

Even so, he follows her.

She opens the door.

Tsubasa covers his mouth to stop himself from retching on the spot.

The room has nothing in it but a futon and an empty closet on the side. It has the same window, the same view, the same floor, the same smell of wood, the same dimly lit lamp, the same wall color.

Everything is fundamentally the same, yet everything feels different.

This room feels more lived in than before, despite having almost nothing in it but a futon. It is clean. There is no trash littered about, and empty and broken bottles are nowhere to be found.

He eventually swallows his fears down. Seeing his room this clean feels weird, but still unsettling nonetheless.

He stands at the edge of the door as Yua finally lets go of his wrist. She grabs her phone from the floor as it is charging in the socket near the closet.

You still look really sick rn. Go rest.

She points at the futon on the ground.

Tsubasa hesitates.

One foot in, he can feel the familiar texture of the mat on his foot once again. He takes another breath and puts his other foot forward. He is finally inside the room.

The boy stays silent. He obediently does as he is told and wraps himself up inside the futon without a word.

For some reason, this makes Yua even angrier.

Just as he is about to fall asleep again, he feels a soft pile of clothes hit his arm on top of the futon. It is her father’s pajamas. She is telling him to change.

“Huh? You really want me to wear this?”

Yua nods angrily with her arms crossed. She is really mad as she kneels on the futon beside him. He has no choice but to comply because he does not want her to become upset at his actions any further.

The boy grabs the hem of his shirt, then pauses. He looks at the girl beside him.

“Uh…are you…just going to sit there…”

Yua immediately realizes what she has done wrong and shuffles to the other side of the room with a small shriek.

The handle of the sliding door is aggressively slid open as the girl nearly stumbles halfway as she drags herself into the corridor. She takes several bows in apology before she slides the door shut with a loud thud.

Tsubasa chuckles a bit to himself. Her reaction is adorable.

He swiftly changes his clothes and makes his way towards the door again without opening it.

The sound of shuffling can be heard across the other side of the door. Yua is hitting the wooden floor outside repeatedly in embarrassment. He can only assume that the noise that she is making is from her kicking her feet or something.

A soft thud hits the door, then another thud, then another. She is now softly hitting her head against the wall.

Tsubasa does not know if he should stop Yua or let her wallow in her embarrassment, but he can definitely hear everything that she is doing just from the other side of the door.

He makes the decision and slowly opens the door. Yua’s eyes are completely wide in shock. Her forehead is slightly tinged red.

“You know you should stop doing that. You will hurt yourself.”

Her entire face turns the same color as her forehead at his sudden reaction. She covers her face in embarrassment and leans against the wall beside her. She makes another small noise as she trembles slightly.

Tsubasa laughs. Tears of laughter form in his eyes.

Yua takes a peek at his smiling face. It makes her calm down a bit. She takes the phone from her lap and smiles as well.

I’m really sorry about that!!!!!!! I didn’t notice!! I swear!!!!

“No, that’s fine! I really don’t mind!”

Yua looks him up and down and lets out a small snort. He is now wearing the same blue pajamas her father is wearing.

Those pajamas suit you. Real goofy looking, but it still looks good on you.

Tsubasa hits a pose using his hand, combing his hair.

“I do agree. It is quite fitting, right? Your father’s size kind of fits me. I do look good in anything after all.”

Another snort comes out of Yua. It seems like she is unimpressed by his pose. She makes her way back into the room and sits on the pillow beside the futon.

Yeah right. Anyway, you really need to get some rest. You’ve been looking really sick for a while.

Tsubasa grabs the futon and tucks himself inside again. He faces his body away from her.

“Thanks for caring about me, but I can manage. You should go back to your room and re-”

A strange warmth envelops him from behind.

This is almost like a retelling of what happened a few days ago, but their positions are now fully reversed.

The girl is softly breathing behind him. He can feel the warmth of her breath on his neck despite the chilly air surrounding them. Her right arm firmly locks him to the ground.

“You need to go to sleep…it’s already one a.m., you know…”

Yua brings herself even closer.

Usually, he would find this type of situation exciting; he is forever stuck in puberty after all, but this room is making him more nauseous by the second. He does not want her to stay in his room any longer.

Especially not in this position.

A lot of awful things happened in this room. Things he cannot bring himself to tell her.

“Please let go. I appreciate that you’re trying to comfort me, but you really don’t have to…”

She does not let go. Tsubasa’s hand is shaking now, and he brings it to cover his mouth. Yua can feel him trembling.

“I…”

He moves to look up at the ceiling.

That light looks familiar. It casts the shadows of many people.

He was not the only person who used to come into this room.

Not just the people renting this house for a visit.

Not just the debt collectors.

Not just the police.

Not just that woman.

He remembers now.

A whole lot of people.

Every time a new person came into this house, he just blankly stared at that same ceiling light. The string attached to that light swayed ever so slightly, like it was doing right now. All of those random figures towered above him to cover that soft light as he lay like a living corpse on this same futon.

Like food completely handed to them on a silver platter.

Those adults forcefully opened everything and greedily sucked everything about his entire existence up through a straw.

They were eating his heart alive.

Your collapsed body is pitiful.

The arm that is wrapped around him holds even tighter. He looks to his right at the girl beside him.

Yua has no idea what is going on with him at the current moment.

“I don’t think someone like me...deserves your kindness…”

A single tear just falls from his eye as he stares lifelessly at her eyes. He grips the arm holding him tightly.

“So let go of me.”

He puts his hand on her eyes, covering her line of sight.

“I am only here to lead you to the end.”

Yua cannot see what is in front of her, but she can feel the warmth of his face near hers. She can see his lips trembling from behind his hand.

“I honestly think you should hate me more. I am responsible for your death after all.”

She shakes her head again.

“I want to tell you a whole lot of things, but I’m scared. You will end up hating me.”

She shakes her head even harder. He softly laughs beside her.

The boy gently brings his hand away and rests it on her cheek. Their faces are now inches apart.

Yua looks at Tsubasa’s face. A smile is plastered over it, yet his hair and face are wet with his own tears.

She feels her eyelids growing heavy.

“Good night, Yua.”

The view of pitch-black darkness consumes her yet again.

Day three: I want to make amends with my parents.