Let's skip the dream no one wants to hear about the dream

I must have fallen asleep on the bed next to Tiki. 

I dreamt, but when I got up everything was still there. Tiki under the comforter. The clearing in the living room. The rats in the wall.

The police were there too. They wanted to know about the girl too, like Tiki had asked. 

I told them she didn't have shoes but she wasn't homeless. She had come here once but I hadn't seen her since. 

She probably went home to her parents. She could do that, she still had them. 

The police said they would take me with them and then leave me at the hospital after. 

There were two or three of them, I couldn't tell. All men, as usual. 

I would have went anywhere at that point though. Just to get away from where I was. Just to get away from who I was. It was the same thing. I could come up with some intellectualization of what was happening but it wouldn't change it. 

Understanding things doesn't make things better. Sometimes it makes it worse. Ignorance is something. 

Blah blah blah. 

Before I could say ok Tiki said no.

-Is she one of your made up friends?

I don't have any made up friends. They're all based on real people. 

Tiki cared about me and I knew there would always be her no matter what happened to me and I could go back there, to her. 

But it didn't mean she was made up.

-It's more likely you're made up, I told the cop. 

But he wasn't. Nobody was. Except maybe me. Made up to something. To survive or persist or subsist.

Tiki glared at me. She didn't like those kinds of jokes.

-I'm his sister, Tiki said. He can't stay here anymore. 

I said that. 

But they were all outside, I knew that. 

Between where and who I was and to get to her. Together.

-Can you help? I asked the cop. 

He looked at me puzzled but I hadn't explained anything yet so what exactly would he expect?

-Look, I said as I went to the window.

-Watch it, the cop warned but I wasn't sure what he meant. 

I hadn't done anything wrong there.

I wanted to lean out the window to get a better look but I knew someone was watching. 

I wanted to show the cop. I wanted to show the cop someone was watching and I wanted to show the cop to whoever was watching. 

Skull or Kairos or fucking Gary or Stive or even ReadyI'm or somebody pretending to be him or taking over for him or just him come back because you can't kill something that's already dead. Not really. It can't only kill you.

You. You've been here all the time so you know. What does it say is happening outside on the street?

The cop wouldn't look. 

-Close the window, he said. It's dangerous. Why don't you have window guards? 

-Did you take them out or did the landlord never put them in? Tiki asked.

I didn't take them out. Fucking Gary did.

-I don't live in a prison.

-Not yet, I heard the cop say but I wasn't sure if it was him or me or if I said it or just thought it.

I took a deep breath and tried to collect myself and my thoughts.

-They are out there watching me.

-Who?

-Not my friends. 

-You can always come with us, the cop said. 

But the windows there have bars. But so do the windows at the hospital. And at Tiki's, even though it's a nice neighborhood with a big yard. Nobody trusts anybody anymore. 

-Can you come with us? I asked the cop. I want to go with my sister but I need to get away from here first. 

Just then the third cop came out of the bedroom and nodded at the other(s).

They'd never find a body in this apartment. 

He seemed satisfied and had an evidence bag with him. 

-What did you take? I asked the cop who came out of the bedroom. And how many of you are there?

He didn't answer either question. 

I would tell you Tiki stood up for me and the cops roughed her up and then me but that would be a happy ending with their badge numbers and a payout and most importantly a way away from here without getting stopped by them. 

I don't have dreams. I just want today and the one after would be ok too. To keep moving. 

They don't want me to leave. I don't know what they want from me or why I let them start hanging around or why I call them my friends or whether I ever did or should have. 

It's better than being alone. Moving or not. 

But Tiki was here. And the cops, who were leaving. Without us. 

-You won't escort us? I asked the cops.

-We're not private security. You can come with us all the way. She can come with you. I don't know how many of them said it. 

-But don't go far, one of them said. We may have more questions.

-You really ought to come with us. We can't make you. 

I closed my eyes. It was the only way to get away. xx

You close them toO.