Chapter 9: The City of Sin

"Oh, welcome back, Sarah", the goblin smiles with polished, corporate warmth. "Are you here for your usual evening shift?"

The young village woman's cheeks flush with a happy, rosy blush as she casually waves her hand at the corporate monster.

"Hello again, Mr. Goblin", the woman giggles softly. "Yes, I am here. Please toy with me and treat me roughly again tonight".

Beside me, Amiya immediately drops her massive broadsword onto the paved road, the heavy steel impacting the concrete with a deafening clang. Her wide eyes sparkle with an unhinged mixture of intense jealousy and massive excitement.

"Wait, you get paid to be treated roughly", Amiya breathes heavily, stepping forward. "Please, hire me too! I will take half the pay and double the abuse!"

I slowly lower my giant, military-green bazooka toward the ground, my brain completely failing to process the sheer absurdity of this ridiculous situation. A few paces away, Ishida frantically rubs his eyes in utter disbelief, his long-held fantasy of building a heroic fantasy harem slowly crumbling into miserable dust right before him. Meiyi and Diana simply stare blankly at the neat, towering buildings, absolutely and thoroughly speechless.

"Hold on a minute", I shout loudly, jabbing an angry, accusatory finger at the flock of village women. "We think you are under brutal attack by savage monsters!"

The village Elder slowly steps forward from the back of the group, sweating nervously and actively avoiding my deadly, piercing glare. Meeting us halfway, the Goblin leader - an older, distinguished goblin wearing a fancy, velvet top hat - politely tips his brim to our heavily armed party.

"There is a huge misunderstanding, brave heroes", the Goblin leader explains calmly, his voice smooth. "We do not attack anyone. We run a highly regulated red-light district".

"It is true", the Elder sighs heavily, his gnarled fingers stroking his long, flowing white beard. "Our village is terribly poor. The young women sneak out day and night to sell their bodies as prostitutes to the wealthy goblins".

The aging Elder looks down at his worn-out woven sandals in a display of mild, pitiful shame.

"When they return exhausted and covered in marks, we just tell outsiders it is a goblin attack to save our village reputation", the Elder admits.

I stand paralyzed in the middle of the advanced, bustling street, violently gripping my pink hair in absolute, blinding frustration. My entire grand, overarching plan to ruthlessly conquer a primitive village and heroically destroy a savage goblin hive is completely ruined by a massive, highly organized prostitution ring.

"You make us build elaborate traps and summon heavy military weapons for this", I scream, my furious voice echoing between the tall, glass-paneled skyscrapers. "You absolute scammers!"

Beside me, Ishida collapses onto his knees, dramatically punching the clean concrete sidewalk in pure, agonizing defeat.

"My pure and innocent village harem is actually a group of professional workers", Ishida cries dramatically, tears welling in his eyes. "My dark heart is broken".

Stepping forward with gentle grace, Meiyi softly pats Ishida on his trembling shoulder.

"Do not worry, master", Meiyi blushes. "I am still a pure and innocent masochist for you".

Diana nods quickly in agreement, though she cowers safely behind Meiyi's back to avoid the terrifying presence of a stray tabby cat casually walking down the nearby alleyway.

"I just want to go home", Diana whispers.

Watching our spectacular meltdown, the Goblin leader chuckles softly and gracefully hands me a shiny, metallic gold VIP card.

"Please, lower your weapons and calm down", the Goblin leader offers politely. "As an apology for the confusion, we invite you to rest at our luxury goblin housekeeping hotel for the day. All expenses are paid".

I look down at the shiny gold card resting in my palm, then slowly turn my gaze toward my completely exhausted and totally useless team of adventurers.

"Fine", I grumble angrily, securely putting away my heavy bazooka. "But I am ordering the most expensive room service you have".

Without another word of protest, we follow the polite, well-dressed goblins to a massive, towering five-star hotel building. Inside, the expansive lobby is lavishly decorated with brilliant crystal chandeliers and incredibly soft velvet carpets. We quietly check into our luxurious, high-end suites, completely abandoning our violent, bloody conquest plans in exchange for the irresistible promise of a soft bed and a hot shower.

This world is truly impossible to conquer when everyone is already a manipulative capitalist.