I Accidentally Triggered The Erratic Childhood-Friend Route! (Part 5)

Upon getting to class, I’m greeted by two of my closest friends...

Friend A and Friend B.

…

Sorry, maybe that was a bit mean.

I’m greeted by Takahashi Kenji (高橋 賢二) and Tanaka Kentaro (田中 健太郎).

Me and Haruki met them a few weeks ago when school started, and to put it bluntly—they’re just about as ordinary as it gets, completely blending into the background.

Takahashi wears glasses and has dark eyes and dark hair, both with a slightly greenish tint.

Tanaka has dark brown eyes, a shaved head, and a slightly thick build.

That’s it.

No outrageous hair.

No colorful eyes.

No unique outfit.

Nothing.

But you know what? I like the ordinary. In fact, I absolutely adore the ordinary.

The past few weeks of my life have been the exact opposite of ordinary, and it totally blows.

I will never turn down more ordinary in my life.

And these guys? They’re basically one of my last remaining sources of it.

I don’t really know why they click so well with me and Haruki, but for whatever reason they just do—and as a result, we became fast friends right from the first day of class.

We sadly haven’t gotten to hang out with them much outside of class, given how preoccupied me and Haruki have been. But hopefully things eventually calm down so that can change.

As I enter the classroom, Takahashi—who’s sitting at the front—looks up from his notes and gives me a nod. I return it with a smile and a wave.

Sitting behind him, Tanaka takes a different approach.

“Hey man, how’s it going? You look like crap today.”

“Appreciate it, Tanaka.” I reply, coming to a stop.

“I like to think I always call it as I see it.”

“And that’s why we all appreciate you, Tanaka.” I jab back sarcastically.

Next to Tanaka, I’m greeted by one final familiar face—a girl seated by the wall.

“Hi, Ubakawa.”

“Hey, Ota.” I say, offering another smile and wave.

One of Haruki’s many heroines, Ota Aina (太田 愛菜) is actually one of the rare few I’d say might qualify as a somewhat normal human being.

She’s a mild-mannered, curvy girl with freckles, red glasses, green eyes, and dark green slightly messy hair with a side swept bang covering her right eye.

I’ve become better acquainted with her than most of the other heroines due to being in the han (table group) next to hers, as well as occasionally seeing her when visiting the Cooking Club (which she’s a part of) for the student council.

I’d be in far less dire straits if the rest of the heroines were more like her, that’s for sure.

Regardless, I continue over to my desk, located at the front of the classroom next to the window, and sit down.

As I pull out my stuff, I take a glance around the room.

The classrooms here are fairly standard, aside from one exception: the class size. Only twenty-five students per room, with the desks arranged neatly in five rows of five.

Saishin Academy leans toward a more active learning environment with a higher level of instructor attention per student—with the goal being to help students better retain what they’re taught.

In stark contrast to the people I’m forced to deal with outside of class, most of my classmates are actually, well…normal.

This puts me in the bizarre position of actually enjoying class.

It’s an oddly relaxing escape from the harem and all my student council work.

I know. Crazy talk.

As I finish getting my stuff out, I see Yuka enter the classroom and quickly give me a small wave before making an immediate beeline toward Ota.

Yuka plants her arm on Ota’s desk and leans in to whisper to her.

“So…you got the goods?”

Ota passes Yuka a small bag of cookies under the desk from her family’s bakery.

“Whatever could you mean?” Ota responds with a wink.

“Good girl,” Yuka replies, pointing at her with her right hand while grabbing the bag with her left.

“Man, I sure wish Ota would let me try some of her baking too,” Tanaka laments.

“You’re free to make a purchase whenever you feel like it, Tanaka.” Ota says, side-eyeing him.

“You know, I’m great at eating sweets, just not so good at the other parts of the process—like making them or acquiring the money to buy them.”

Yuka lightly pounds her fist on the table, impassioned.

“More relatable words have never been spoken, Tanaka!”

“I knew you’d get me Yuka!”

They both lean forward and knock their forearms together in solidarity as Ota is stuck in the middle of them, giving a pained smile as she witnesses the medical miracle of two humans managing to share and survive off of a single brain cell.

Haruki, followed by the remaining girls in class who hadn’t arrived yet, walks through the door.

Having overheard their conversation, he chimes in.

“It’s really admirable how your baking is able to put smiles on so many people’s faces, Ota.”

She averts his gaze and adjusts her hair, blushing.

“Well, I don’t know about that—but thank you, Kojima. That’s very kind of you to say.”

Takahashi and Tanaka both greet Haruki as he enters. Tanaka, however, wears a very transparent expression—happy on one hand to see his friend, but not so happy watching him effortlessly make Ota and other girls swoon with lines that guys like us could never pull off in the same way.

Haruki then turns his attention to Yuka.

“You know, if getting cookies like that makes you so happy, maybe I should learn how to bake too.”

“Uh, well…” Yuka starts nervously fidgeting, squirming in place.

“Being able to put a smile on such a dear friend’s face? I can’t imagine what would be more worth the effort.”

“Oh, stop,” Yuka says, blushing as she brings her hands to her cheeks.

“No, really, I mean it,” Haruki continues.

“Yeah, I got it, Haruki…”

Seeing her expression start to shift again—just like earlier in the student council room—I quickly try to cut in.

“Hey Haruki, you might want to—”

But I’m too late—the poor fool has already sealed his own fate.

“Come on, don’t be coy. I know you’d be happy to receive cookies from someone who cares about—”

“It’s not like I’d love for you to bake me cookies or anything!”

Watching Yuka wind up an uppercut, my eyes widen as her fist is suddenly enveloped in blue and black flame.

As her fist slams into his stomach, he’s launched into the air with a wheeze as the wind is knocked out of him. A second impact follows immediately after—so strong it blows a hole straight through his stomach. He smashes into the ceiling before falling back down to the ground lifeless.

I jump to my feet, horrified, unable to process what I’ve just seen.

I instinctively step forward and reach out—

—and upon blinking, he’s back to normal on the floor, casually giving Yuka a thumbs-up to reassure her he’s fine.

“You know, Kojima, I almost feel sorry for you. But then I think about all those girls always hanging on you, and for some strange reason my sympathy just…evaporates. Truly one of life’s great mysteries.”

Ota gives a pout and elbows Tanaka.

“Hey—it was a joke; it was a joke!”

Takahashi looks over at me.

“What’s wrong Ubakawa? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I would’ve thought you’d be used to this by now.”

I sit back down, dumbfounded.

I’m clearly way too tired.

I’ve gotta make sure to talk to Haruki soon, before I end up in an insane asylum.