I Accidentally Triggered The Erratic Childhood-Friend Route! (Part 4)

Taken aback by the sudden sugary attack, she looks up at me.

I give her a smile, pat her head, and hold out my tie so she can wipe her tears.

“Come on, Yuka. He knows you didn’t mean any harm. He’s been with you for like a decade—do you really think one little incident’s going to change anything?

You’re cute, remember? You can get away with anything! It’s worked so far, right?”

She lets out a giggle and a sniffle while wiping her tears.

“Mhm!”

Her eyes still watery, she gives me a smile so devastatingly cute that it would make the heart of just about any guy in the school—besides Haruki and me—skip a beat.

“There you go, Yuka!” I say, mimicking her earlier tone as I slap her on the back. “Everything’s not all bad, is it?”

“You’re right…thank you Tomoya, you’re a real pal.”

I lean in and whisper into her ear.

“Partners in crime, right?”

She giggles again, wiping the last of her tears from her eyes with my tie…

...before blowing her nose into it.

“Aw nasty! You really are a little criminal, aren’t you?”

“Does this mean I can’t have the other cinnamon roll?”

“That’s exactly what it means, you little snot monster.”

Trying to turn up the charm, she starts rubbing her chest up against my arm.

“Come on…not even for your cute childhood friend?”

I don’t know what this school is teaching these heroines, but I find it troubling that some of them think they can get to Haruki by rubbing up on him—or sometimes me by proxy.

Thankfully, having seen most of them at their worst, I’ve largely been immunized against any attempts to weaponize their feminine wiles to get what they want.

However, feeling sharp glares of jealousy suddenly pierce my back from the other male members in the room—jealousy that seemed to unfairly be absent when all those girls were hanging all over Haruki—I relent and hand her the other cinnamon roll.

“Thank you, Tomoyaaa. See you in class!”

As soon as she rounds the corner, I slump down in my chair, lean my head back, and close my eyes, unable to help but sigh.

This is far too much emotional turmoil this early in the morning.

As I open my eyes, I see just about the last person I want to deal with right now hovering over me.

Shinomiya Haruka (親宮 遥), the school’s resident ikemen joshi—and probably the only other first-year student who can give Haruki a run for his money in terms of popularity.

Shinomiya has blue hair with a purple sheen, styled in a pixie cut with a side-swept bang on her right side. She has slightly thick eyebrows, piercing purple eyes, an angular face, and is taller than average with a deeper-than-average voice.

She excels at pretty much everything, always plays things cool and composed, and puts on a chivalrous flirty act that a lot of the girls die for when combined with her princely yet beautiful face and figure. She also seems to encourage it, indulging their admiration like it’s all part of the fun.

She’s our Event Chair, and as far as I understand, she got the position simply by walking up to the class president on day one and demanding it.

And shocker—as always—Shinomiya gets whatever she wants.

“79,” she says with a condescending smile.

I sit up.

“What?”

“Your performance. I’d give it about…a 79 out of 100”

“You were fairly quick to react and certainly had a good read on her feelings—the gift was a nice touch too, I might add. That being said, you are sorely lacking in grace and gentility—the very foundations of how one ought to treat a lady. Not to mention the way you lost control of your emotions at the end. I believe ‘snot monster’ is what you called her?

The instincts are all there, but alas, I’m afraid you have no game—and worse, no principles. And without those, you can never truly hope to win over a maiden’s heart.”

“And what would you know about a maiden’s heart?”

“Well, despite my handsome looks, I do still happen to be a maiden myself.”

“Oh, are you? I really couldn’t tell.”

“Ah, unfortunately that little remark is going to cost you.”

She slaps a pile of papers down on my desk.

“I overheard that Yuki is helping you deliver those envelopes, meaning you’re free to help me with these instead.”

“What the—You weren’t even in the room! How could you possibly—”

She motions to our student council secretary, Yano Ren (矢野 蓮)

Yano wears thick glasses and a perpetually stern expression. She has a small mole just below the left side of her mouth, and cerulean hair tied into a bun, with a bang framing each side of her face.

She handles all her tasks seriously and efficiently. Despite working with her for a few weeks now, however, as a woman of few words, I know next to nothing about her.

And when I say a woman of few words, I mean that quite literally.

“Call.” she says, mimicking a phone with her hand, before turning back to her work.

“I was reporting some info to her and could hear you shouting on the other end.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re way too loud?”

“Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to listen in on other’s private conversations?”

“Be that as it may, I heard enough to know you’re free to handle these.”

“Did you not overhear the part about the bags under my eyes?”

“I overheard you trying to claim they’re cute.”

“That’s not—” my voice cracks. “That is not what I said, I said maybe the hairclip—”

“It’s okay.”

She rubs her hand along my arm while slowly moving closer.

“I don’t know why you’re getting so defensive. I didn’t say I disagree.”

“Wha-”

She leans in, just a few inches away from my face—so close I can feel her breath—tilts my chin up, and slowly studies me from side to side.

“On the contrary, I find them very cute. Then again, I supposed if you’re going to be the student council’s dog, it does make sense for you to be at least a little cute.”

Feeling my face start to rapidly heat up I pull back and lightly knock her hand away.

“Alright, alright, enough, I’ll help. You can go away now.”

“Ah and there’s the attitude.”

She smiles.

“And that’s exactly why, while you may be cute, you’ll never hold a candle to Kojima—and thus, will forever remain maidenless.”

She turns around and heads out of the room.

“Oh well, I’m off.”

Before leaving, she looks back and winks, giving a lazy finger-wave goodbye

“Have fun.”

As soon as she’s gone, I let out a sigh and look around.

We were completely ignored.

Apparently, Yuka lightly touching my shoulder warrants death glares, but Shinomiya getting a couple inches away from my face is perfectly fine somehow.

Frankly, I don’t blame the guys for being cold toward her, considering how cold she is toward them.

Overly protective of the other girls in her grade, she drives off any guy she catches hitting on them if she thinks he has bad intentions (spoiler: she always does).

On top of that, while she’s definitely well-built, the whole “princely girl” aesthetic doesn’t exactly land with most of the male student body the way it does with the girls.

There are only two guys I’ve ever seen her regularly interact with.

The first is Haruki—who she’s in love with.

Unfortunately for her, Haruki is completely oblivious to her feelings, the same way he is to all the heroines.

What’s strange, however, is that Shinomiya knows this—she sees him for the dense harem protagonist that he is. She’s self-aware enough to understand exactly what game she’s playing, yet she still chooses to play it anyway—and what’s more, she enjoys it.

I’ve even seen her crack through his barrier of cluelessness a few times.

If any of the heroines is ever able to actually get through to him, it’ll definitely be her.

She’s clever, persistent, and knows what she wants—I’ll give her that much.

Unfortunately, that brings us to the second guy—me.

Her constant proximity to Haruki means that, by extension, she’s constantly around me too. And boy, does she seem to get a sadistic little kick out of watching me flail around trying to keep the peace in Haruki’s harem, while also trying—and failing—to spend time with him without getting pushed out.

On top of that, our student council positions force us to work together a bunch. And not only did she immediately sniff me out as a pushover she could dump her work on, but also as someone she could easily mess with just to see how I react.

So just my luck, she ends up being the person I spend the most time with outside of class—aside from Haruki and Yuka, though not by much.

She’s the only heroine I have no idea how to handle. It’s like she’s operating on a completely different level than all the other heroines.

Thankfully, after today, I should finally be free of dealing with her outside the student council. I just have to make sure my plan goes off without a hitch.

And speaking of—it’s time for class.

Haruki won’t know what hit him…

…hopefully.