Ball-Ball-Ball-Base-Bowl!

The microphone clutched against her chest as the drum beat steadied with the mellow tones of the organ. Some of the crowd that lost interest in the bellowing of Burpin Turd returned to the trailer with Yuki and Asami’s impromptu band. A recorder joined the chorus, the only instrument Yuki knew. Asami made up lyrics off the top of her head once the zither chord finished.

“I came from Tokyo to this cold land

Snow fell from mountain in piles of white

Heavy jacket slumped my shoulders

I waited for the bus in a lonely field

Then you arrived with a smile

It was such a small thing

That felt like summer time

In the middle of winter

On that fateful day when I met you.”

The recorder’s playing faltered during the interlude, yet the gathering crowd drew in enraptured by Asami’s heartfelt lyrics combined with Zaap’s instrumentals.

“In that place

I decided,

I decided,

I would continue loving you.”

At this point, tears streamed down Yuki’s face. But Asami didn’t hesitate, she turned to Yuki and belted out the next verse.

“Your smile warms the coldest winter

It fills me with cheer

How you always do your best

You think you’re always late for me

But I’m early waiting in that place

Where I decided

I decided

I would continue loving you.”

The old man looked sour. More than half the audience for Burpin Turd left the dance grounds, where they danced a strange version of the twist. They listened enraptured to lyrics they never heard before, notes in a slightly new, yet familiar arrangement. The final beats of the organ and guitar contained the fading of Asami’s declaration of love. The audience clapped and cheered. Both girls looked stunned and took soft bows.

“One more!” someone shouted.

“Encore!”

“Tell them to turn off that noise over there and let you sing!”

A huge blush burned across Asami’s face, she felt like a super star while Yuki jumped on her back and climbed up on her shoulders.

“I don’t have anymore song ideas,” Asami whispered as Yuki hugged her.

“Don’t worry. I got an idea. I’ll whisper the lyrics. But first I want you to make an announcement.”

Small lips pressed against Asami’s ear while Yuki whispered, Asami nodded in agreement and repeated the lines word for word:

“People of Earth, don’t let this brain rot steal your attention anymore. Fight back. Love your true cultures. Love your real music. Stop chasing shallow dopamine hits and easy bait. Value the deeper meaning of your short lives! They’re ethereal like the blooming of Sakura blossoms.”

The old man turned and yelled a wheezing hack that burst through the droning of Burpin Turd. The music stopped. The crowd silenced as the old man cleared his throat, “Bring out the bat thing!”

The horn of the bus bellowed across the speakers; a deep bellowing voice played along with the visual of a baseball bat with legs carrying a golf club. A bowling ball formed the creature’s hips from which noodle thin legs protruded. The DJ transformed, stretching out, turning into the creature on the screen. A golf club shot from the roof of the bus. He caught it with a sickly sticklike arm that moved fast, “Tada- Dupe Dupe Dupe, Dupe! Tada- Dupe Dupe Dupe, Dupe! Tada- Dupe Dupe Dupe, Soup!”

“I don’t like boring music. So, jive with me!”

The golf club sparked when he bashed it against the side of the bus. Speakers rang with a dissonance that made the audience cover their ears, but when they recovered those nearby started dancing.

Yuki shook Asami, “You gotta start singing. We can’t let that thing win.”

“But it’s kind of compelling. I can’t look away,” Yuki drooled down her chin as she stared.

The creature danced atop the bus; a smirk plastered on its baseball bat face. His name was Ball-Ball-Ball-Based-Bowl. Millions of people had watched him on Corpo-Vid. It was difficult to tell if he was a real entity or a holograph until he jumped down and smacked a student with his golf club. The student shook his head as he got up and started doing the simple dance.

“Here I am right now. I’m baseball bowling loud. My dance will make sure that you’re gettin’ plowed! Tada- Dupe Dupe, Dupe Dupe Dupe…”

Zaap started the beat to another Enka song and Asami made up lyrics. But their second song didn’t have the power of the first. The baseball bat bowling ball man moved through the edges of its crowd into their show. He repeated his chorus while slamming people over the head with a golf club. When struck, the victims started dancing with a random cadence. The beats from the bus blasted louder, reached further.

Even the old man in the camel hair coat tapped his feet while audience members fell to Ball-Ball-Ball-Base-Bowl. The creature grew taller each time it claimed another victim to its dance.

“We have to come up with something more catchy!” Yuki yelled.

“You can’t fight brain rot with more brain rot!” Zaap kept the drum beat rolling, “Do you have something more heart felt?”

“I- I wrote a poem?”

“Sing it, what style of music do you need?”

The giant baseball bat with bowling ball hips approached the trailer with gleaming metal golf club upraised. Its eye narrowed as it stomped through the crowd taking aim.

“Something up beat, but gentle, lots of piano.”

The club raised over Asami’s head. It came crashing down to bash her skull. It caught a withered violet hand. Captain Zarp floated with their legs folded. His damaged arm sparked while he held back the attack. The base-bowling monster stumbled backwards through the crowd, even shrinking slightly.

“Zarp, you’re okay!” Yuki yelled.

“We gave them the slip. Don’t worry about us! Sing you fools!”

Piano notes played gleefully through the speakers. Asami started singing again, this time, it sounded like the opening to a pop song.