Chapter 14: Normal People

These last few months were far different than what I thought it would be.

I'm willing to bet if you asked me what I'd be doing all of next year I'd say something like 'Crush the Fate of War: 1407 leaderboards become the world's biggest speedrunning streamer ever and ditch school entirely.'

Yeah. Only one of those things came true. I’ll let you guess which.

And then there was the other side of my life: being the emotional support puppy for the most powerful magical girl on earth.

Every day was Casual Friday I guess. Except the 'casual' part was wearing the same hoodie three days in a row and the 'Friday' part was her yelling through the dimensional chains that the universe hated her.

As I trudged out to take out the trash feeling like a responsible adult who'd turned into a zombie I thought I was feeling completely alone consumed by my misery and ramen-like breath.

But that wasn't the case.

"Keizo?"

I nearly dropped the trash bag. My heart nearly jumped into my throat.

Standing in the driveway were Mika and Eiji. Both of them. Alive. Breathing. Smiling at me like I'd just saved the day or something.

I didn't think they'd even remember me being outside of school as so far removed from the school's social ecosystem.

And yet here they were.

The two of them irreplaceable in a world gone completely crazy.

“Uh… hey,” I tried my best to sound casual while completely butchering the delivery.

Mika tilted her head and gave me that “Keizo seriously what happened to you?” look that somehow made my entire body feel like crumpling.

Eiji just waved like nothing was wrong and grinned like a total meathead which actually made me a little angry at him for being so annoyingly alive and unbothered.

"You've... changed," Mika said carefully choosing her words as if in a minefield.

"You look like you slayed a dragon like in real life bro." Eiji added.

"It... doesn't matter. It's fine."

They didn’t press further. For a moment we just stood there. The air felt different like the universe had hit pause for a beat. I hadn’t seen them in weeks and in that moment it felt like a century. My life outside of Izumi’s chaos outside of the mirror had been paused left to collect dust.

Eiji finally waved his arms dramatically. “Alright enough existential dread. Let’s get breakfast or something. You look like hell bro. And your bedhead? Equally hellish.”

Mika smirked. “You’ve got bags under your eyes. Like… even your bags have bags.”

I groaned. “Thanks I’ll file that under ‘helpful observations.’”

They laughed and for the first time in what felt like forever I felt... grounded.

Normal.

Normal enough.

I then proceeded to zone out while I autonomously sorted through which bit of trash goes in which bin nodding along occasionally.

"God no matter what state he's in it's always the same." I caught Mika mutter to Eiji loud enough for me to hear.

"So is that a 'yes' Keizo? You're just kinda nodding without saying anything so I don't know." Eiji asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"...sure dude."

I was definitely out of it.

Cool then lead the way Mika said playfully thwacking me on the shoulder a small grin tugging at the edges of her lips.

Wait. What? No hang on...

I had barely recovered from the shock of seeing Mika and Eiji alive when I realized I had just… invited them over.

“Uh… yeah sure come by anytime ” I had said absent-mindedly thinking I was just being polite maybe trying to seem like a functioning human being again.

"By any time we mean now dorkface," Mika stuck her tongue out at me racing Eiji up the driveway.

No. No Keizo. That was a mistake. A colossal gargantuan mistake.

Because now it hit me like a falling anvil coated in tar. There was no way out. There was no way to explain this away.

Holy crap Izumi.

Holy crap Izumi in my house.

Holy crap Izumi can end worlds.

Holy crap if they find out everything is over. My life. Their lives. Probably half the neighborhood.

My brain and feet both went into overdrive. Five seconds. FIVE SECONDS TO BRIEF HER BEFORE THE DOOR OPENS!

I raced past both of them and closed the door behind me loudly exclaiming that I'd need a bit to get decent.

I spun toward her. “Izumi! Uh… guests! at the door! Surprise! Humans! Totally normal humans! Not magical girls or guys just regular people got it?”

She blinked at me tilting her head like a cat completely unbothered and… smiled.

No. No cute smile. Not now.

Izumi raised an eyebrow.

I could swear the universe condensed into the moment before the door opened. My lungs were on strike. My palms had apparently gone on vacation to the Sahara.

And then…

Click.

The door started to open.

Oh. My. God.

Izumi sensing the approaching mortals gracefully—but also terrifyingly—floated toward the doorway. Hair and aura shimmering a few tiny motes of magic still dancing around her hands like fireworks.

Okay Keizo you have to cue her in like right now.

“Uh… Izumi! Smile! Absolutely no magic outbursts! Maybe… look like… a girl who watches TV and eats ramen? YES?!”

She cocked her head. “TV… Ramen… Very well. I shall simulate this behavior pattern.”

Somehow that answers made things worse.

“Keizo, are these the individuals you were referencing?” Izumi tilted her head at me.

She was terrifyingly serene.

What did I just say Izu!?

I turn to find the door flung open with Eiji and Mika standing at the door gobsmacked.

Nope nope nope nope nope.

“Uh yes! Guests! Hello!” I waved like a certified oaf.

I heard Eiji whisper to Mika something about going off the rails.

I sputtered at her internally.

If only you two knew about everything that had to happen for this exact moment to occur in time.

If only.

Mika and Eiji froze for a half-second—then both burst out laughing.

“You… either have a batshit crazy chuunibyou cosplay fanatic girlfriend you’re ditching school for” Mika wheezed clutching her stomach “or that… girl who looks like she just waltzed out of medieval europe is your long-lost cousin.”

Eiji doubled over. “Yeah and honestly… both seem equally plausible!”

I stood there helpless waving my arms. “No! Stop! Neither! She’s… she’s… she’s…”

Izumi floating serenely in the center of the room blinked at me. “Keizo… are you attempting to explain the situation? I may be able to assist—”

Sigh. What do I even say to that?

This is what I get for spacing-out and blindly agreeing to things.

I gave Izumi a look that tried its best to convey to her that I didn't want her to blow this.

Izumi being Izumi failed the task successfully.

"Hello friends of Keizo my name is Izumi Hannei and I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Keizo and I are currently residing in his home due to circumstances beyond my control…" Izumi introduced herself with practiced ease though I noticed she didn't quite meet our eyes looking down slightly at her shoes. "I apologize for any inconvenience and confusion you must have experienced upon entering this household and meeting us in person but I hope you will forgive the imposition."

Circumstances beyond your—could you be less honest?

I winced internally.

I mean because yeah sure... technically all that's... true?

Except Izumi has no idea how off-putting that sounds to these two.

"I don't know how or where you met this chick from Keizo but she's a keeper distant relative or not." Eiji proudly clapped me on the back.

"Eiji! Gross! Whaddaya mean distant relative or not?!" Mika exclaimed.

"Oh come on Mika clearly they're buff-guff."

“We're basically family.” I protested.

"Lies. You two are buff-guff. Its painfully obvious." Eiji retorted playfully.

"What?"

"BF/GF."

"Oh. I don't think that's—"

I could feel Izumi wanting to interject she practically loomed like a priest about to exorcise a demon.

“Impossible. I have attuned to his soul channels. If he were my ‘BF–GF ’ as you put it our auras would be betwixt in unmistakable resonance. They are not. Therefore your jest is unsound.”

She then proceeded to blush and folded under zero pressure.

She's like... the lord of all chuunibyous it's adorable really. I'm glad you found each other!"" Mika giggled.

In that moment I didn't know whether to smack myself in the face or hug Mika and Eiji.