My Crazy Confession to Tobias-kun

Sara 1623 November 1, 2046

The chilling auton breeze blew through my hair as I stand waiting for Tobias-kun. I’d asked him to meet me behind the school when we saw our grades but instead decided to leave a note in his locker. The biting cold had persuaded most students to begin wearing cardigans and scarves. The dots of color from them were a disparaging contrast to the oppressive grey clouds above. I had declined to wear anything extra and was beginning to regret my decision. The frigid air bit at my cheeks and nose, making me redder than I already was. WIll he really show up? Can I do it? Should I wait to tell him? It’s only been a few weeks; is that long enough? My stomach seemed to flip in time with the raging typhoon that was my mind. With each passing moment, it grows vaster and more furious. The feeling of leaves blowing in the wind nearly makes me jump out of my skin as they lick my legs.

I can’t do this. It’s too soon. It won’t work. I have to leave. I turned and began to stride away. Sorry, Tobias-kun. I’m sorry I’m such a coward. I’m sorry I already hurt you but I ca-

“Sara-chan?” The sound of his voice freezes both my feet and my mind. I slowly turn and see him standing there, the red note visible in his hand. As our eyes meet, I feel the storm in my mind begin to dissipate and be replaced with a wave of calm. My determination rebounds, and I stand fast.

“Tobias-kun… Um, g-good to see you got my note.” I finally manage to say. He stops a meter in front of me, and we stand facing each other, not saying a word. The only sound is the scraping of leaves blown in the wind.

”So why did you call me out here?” He finally asks. “You got a better score than me after all, so you don’t have to tell me your secret.”

“Umm, well, I kinda do,” I say meekly.

“Hmm?” he asks, a bit confused.

“You see, the promise I made was to tell the boy I like how I feel if I beat him in the exams. And since I did, I am.”

“Wait, you have a crush on someone?” he asks. His face contorts into a look of surprise. ”Is it Louise? He always seems to be flirting with you.”
“No, it’s not him. He’s a little too full of himself for my taste…. But he is one of the more exotic people we have here,” I say, hoping he’ll pick up on my hints.

“Oh, don’t tell me it’s Arthur. I mean, he makes good tea, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think you’d be happy with him.”

“No, I agree, which is why I didn’t call him out here,” I say, becoming a bit annoyed.
“Ohh, I see,” he says. I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s finally understanding, I think.

“You’re so used to doing everything with Sora but didn’t want him to flip out on the guy, so you asked me to come to act as your moral support. Don’t worry. I’m rooting for you,” he says two thumbs up and a smile. Pain fills my eyes as I come to terms with the fact that this boy I love is, in fact, denser than a black hole from which no hints can escape.

“No, Tobias-kun, I didn’t call you out here for moral support,” I say, exhausted.

“Then why’d you call me out here?” His face was once again full of confusion. “Won’t it be awkward to have me here when the guy you like shows up.”

“He already showed up, dummy,” I say, trying to beat it through his skull.

“What? but school just let out,” he says, turning to look behind him. “Is he behi-” I finally snap and cut him off.

“IT’S YOU, YOU BIG DUMMY. YOU’RE THE ONE I HAVE A CRUSH ON.”I yell as loud as I can. I stand there clenching my fists and looking down at my shoes. I feel a cold sweat cover me as all the heat from my body concentrates on my cheeks. I still feel the breeze, but the chilling cold no longer affects me. I said it! I finally said it. I think as I await his response. I hear the clattering of his umbrella as he drops it.

“What? Y-...you have a crush on me?” he finally stampers out.

“Yes,” I whimper, taking a step closer without opening my eyes.

“But for how long?”

“I don’t know… It started before middle school, but I wasn’t sure of it till this school year.” I say as I drift closer to him.

“I...I don’t know what to say.” The disbelief is visible like frost on a cold morning.

“I...I know it’s a bit sudden. You never did pick up on my hints, no matter how obvious. So...I don’t expect an answer right away. But once you’ve thought about it, you can let me know, and then we ca-”

“No.” his deep imposing tone stops me dead in my tracks. My eyes widen as I look up and see that he’s only an arm’s length away. I couldn’t have covered that much ground. Did he walk up to me?

”What?” I ask timidly.

“No… I can’t believe it,” he states firmly.

“I already said I know it’s a bit of a shock, so yo-” I try to say, but he cuts me off.

“A bit of a shock? That’s a little under-exaggerated, don’t you think?” His volume startles me. He’s never spoken to me like this, and it makes me skittish.

“Well, it’s not that out of the ordinary,” I say timidly. “I mean, we’ve been around each other so long. One of us was bound to have feelings too-” I try to calm him down, but he cuts me off again.

“No, not that! In hindsight, everything makes sense now that I think about it,” he says, taking a step closer. “The flirty comments, What you said at the comet, always hanging around Sora and me all the time, Being so happy when Sora and Iori got together because it’d mean you’d have more time with me, the jealous looks at Niǎo-san that you thought nobody saw. They all make sense. I just can’t believe it.” I can’t believe his words. He noticed all this time but never made a move? I’m angry now, and I match his harsh tone. How could I notice all that and not know how I feel.

“DO YOU NOT THINK OF ME AS A GIRL AT ALL!?” I yell.

“No, I can’t believe how far you stooped to get what you want.”

“Wha?” I ask. His words cut me deep, and I take a step back, but he steps forward to keep the distance the same.

“You knew I had a thing for Niǎo-san, and you heard Sora and me talking about how I was gonna confess to her.” My back hits the wall, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps stepping forward and begins to yell right in my face.

“You knew she wouldn’t like a grand display. You knew she'd preferred something more personal! You KNEW that confessing to her after the game would never work, but you still encouraged me to do it.”

“No… No, I thought that she’d like it and come arou-” I try to defend myself, but he doesn’t let me get a word in.

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” he yells.

“STOP” I yell as I try to push him back, but he just grabs my hands and forces me against the wall. I wince in pain as he grips my forearms.

“Ahh, Tobias-kun, that hurts,” I whimper.

“I BET IT DOES. JUST LIKE IT HURT WHEN I TWISTED MY ANKLE TO WIN THE RELAY RACE!! JUST LIKE IT HURT TO DIVE FOR THAT BALL AND WIN THE GAME!!” The heat from his mouth blasts my face with condensation, but I barely notice it with the vice grip he’s holding my arms with. I struggle in vain to get him to let go.

“Just like it hurt to be rejected by the first girl I loved.”

He releases my arms, and I fall to my knees before stroking my arms. I look up at him in fear as his eyes pierce with a frenzied violent gaze. I look at his hands and see blood dripping from his hand where his nails have pierced his skin.

“But even more than that, it hurts to know that one of my closest friends, someone I considered my sister, someone I thought would always be there for me, would betray me FOR HER OWN SELFISH GAINS WITHOUT GIVING A MOMENT OF THOUGHT AS TO WHAT I WANTED.” I put my arms up to cover my face in dread. I prepare for the punches that I full well deserve as I quiver in fear. But nothing comes. I hear a thump and open my eyes to see that the once towering figure has slumped off to lean against the wall away from me. He crouches into a squat, and I hear the sounds of sobbing emanate from him.

“Tobias...kun,” I say as I crawl towards him. Even now, after he knows full well how I betrayed him, he still holds himself back. Tears well up in my eyes as I get closer to him. Maybe I can still save this. He obviously doesn't hate me. He’d have hit me if he hated me.

“Tobias-kun, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking, bu-” I begin to say as I place a hand on his shoulder, hoping I can comfort him.

“SHUT UP, NISEMONO,” he screams. I don’t have time to react as his arm spins around. It hits me square in my cheek and forces me to fall back. I lay in shock as I feel my cheek. It stings as I touch it and look up and see the same intimidating figure as before standing over me. I see him flinch and grit his teeth as his nostrils flare and emanate steam like a beast about to land the killing blow on his prey. A few raindrops fall on his shoulders only to instantly hiss and evaporate as if they’d fallen on hot metal. I try to crawl away on my back in terror as I’ve no idea what he’ll do. The ground seems to shake as he takes a step closer. I curl up into a ball, covering my face in terror. I press my eyes tight, hoping it won’t be too bad.

“LEAVE!!” he shouts over me. I open my eyes in shock. He holds himself back as I begin to climb up.” GO, LEAVE NOW. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN EVER!” he shouts as I climb to my feet and run. I dash out of the schoolyard and down the street. The sky begins to drizzle as I run. The rain mixes with my tears, soaking and blinding me. I cough and choke on my own saliva and phlegm as I huff. I stumble and fall into a puddle as I hack on it. I spit red as I climb to my knees.

“Are you okay?” someone on the street asks, but I don’t listen. I stand and begin sprinting away once more, wailing all the way. He’s right, I think. He’s right. He’s right. He’s right. What have I done? I deceived him. I sabotaged him. What have I done? How can I fix this? What can I do? I can’t apologize. There’s nothing I can do to fix this. I’ve lost my friend. I’ve lost my crush. I LOST MY BEST FRIEND, Is all I can think of as I dash through the streets.