But First...Let Me Take a Shoppy!

"Iz, I just want to grab a few things," Aesandoral announced as she tugged at the sleeve of my Henley. "Can we shop before we move on to our next mission?"

Glancing over at the elf, I stared deeply into her pleading eyes. Just the sight of them made my heart skip a beat before it began to race with excitement. Even if I had wanted to say no, I wouldn't have had the heart to do it. It was hard to explain, but there was something about the innocence of her gaze that had the power to win me over every time. In fact, I feared the day we were on opposite sides of a dispute, knowing well that I would only be able to hold my resolve for so long. Luckily, today wasn't that day, and I didn't have to wrestle with a conflicting opinion as I agreed with her.

"I-I, yeah, sure?" I stammered in reply, trying to take hold of my racing heart and prevent my thoughts from wandering into perversion as the triop began to disperse. "Let's all just meet at the checkout near my apartment in, say, an hour?"

"I'm going to the food court..." Sharzin remarked with a wave of her hand.

"Sharzin, could you—" I called out, only to watch her disappear through a coatrack before I could ask her to bring me a poutine. "Guess not. Man, what's gotten into her? Ri, any idea why—and you're gone too."

With a swivel of my head, I searched around only to discover that the triop had already dispersed in every direction, eager to spend their recent adventure earnings. Sighing defeatedly, I followed their lead and began to wander my way towards the known bargain bins in search of new oddities for myself. Being sure to be thorough, I took the time needed to sift through densely cluttered piles and dig into the hidden nooks of ominous-looking crates as I hunted for any weapon or armour that would be useful to me. 

Unfortunately, most of the lighter weapons that would work for my style of combat had already been picked over, and what remained were mainly deals on heavy breastplates and halberds, neither of which appealed to me. Disappointed and not wanting to leave empty-handed, I ended up stopping by the potion fountain, where I gathered a collection of healing elixirs of assorted flavours to restock my dwindling supply. After being cautious not to drain too much of the magical healing syrup that Phyllis diluted with arcane carbonation, I tossed the dozen or so bottles into my shopping basket and moved on.

It was then, as I made my way towards the checkout across from my apartment, that I passed by a particular bargain bin that caught my attention. There was nothing unique about the wooden barrel with a red 'Half-Off' sticker on it, other than the fact that as I passed by, I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. As though Rionriv had shocked me, a surge pulsed through my body before an insatiable urge to rummage took me by the chest.

With little control of myself, I thrust forward, digging my hands into the barrel where I began withdrawing items by the armful. Boomerangs, katanas, unlabelled potions and more came out with every scoop. I placed them in piles on the ground around me in some form of hoarder sorting system, but nothing I took hold of caught my attention. Eventually, my hand grabbed around something curious. Withdrawing my grip from the bottom of the barrel, which, mind you, was roughly three feet deeper than the bargain bin's physical shape, I opened my palm to reveal a seed the size of an apricot pit. Twisting my head, I tugged the tag that had been attached to it, noticing three little words I had never expected to see: Elder Esserian Oak. 

No way! I thought, my heart skipping a beat. I thought I had written the species into extinction during the War of Mortals 3,500 years ago. 

A tree that grew to the height of a thousand feet and a diameter of four hundred, the lumber of these ancient oaks was used to build the fleets of the Western City and, later, Westerriton. More than that, their wood was hardy enough to withstand the strain of being in the presence of divinity. There was a reason why, during the Great Cataclysm, the divinity razed the land and burned the last of the species to ash. They destroyed huge portions of the world to ensure that mortals would never again create ships or weapons powerful enough to challenge the Gods. Unfortunately for them, it would seem that they had missed one seed that I had now decided to keep in my possession. Thus, meaning that with both access to it and the celestinium deposit beneath Tahvinstead, I could one day craft weapons strong enough to slay gods.

Though excited by the find that I eagerly tucked into my basket, the itch to search this bin had yet to be satiated. There was something else within. A second item that called to me and scratched at the back of my mind like a million pugsquito bites the closer I drew to it. Withdrawing the last of the items, I reached my hand up into interdimensional nooks and crannies where I knew items occasionally got stuck. Like candy bars falling from the top level of a vending machine, sometimes when items made their way from the return bins, they got snagged on the wooden edges of the bargain barrels, resting in inventory limbo until a spear or hammer knocked them free. 

As I dragged my hand along the roughly hewn lip, doing my best not to get a pencil-sized splinter, my grip eventually came across an object caught exactly where I expected it to be. It was thin and dainty, but as I took hold of it, a surge coursed through my form nonetheless. Whatever I was looking for, I had found. Pulling my hand back, my heart raced at what was revealed to me. Delicately gripped in my grasp was a golden bangle, smooth and finely polished, with a raw ruby the size of a silver dollar dangling like a charm from the metal band.

As I stared at it, much like when I had seen the ruby affixed to Kr'throc, I knew I needed it. It was as though it had always belonged to me, and it was only just now that I realized it had been missing. Before I knew what was happening, I had already slipped the golden bangle over my wrist, admiring the way the gemstone faintly began to glow before a surge of energy coursed through my body. Suddenly, like a piece of me that I had never known was missing had finally been returned, I felt a little more whole than before. As though now, with it once more a part of me, I could fight twice as hard, or, potentially, do other more debaucherous things twice as long. 

My heart fluttered for a second, remembering the triop and our time at the hotel. I bit my lip as I longed to put this newfound vitality to the test.

Wonderful, torturous memories made real. I thought, imagining the lace underwear and regular temptations long enough for a chill to race through me. If only I weren't contractually obligated to behave.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I moved to take the bangle from my wrist, but as I reached for it, I froze. I knew it belonged to me now. No matter the price, it would be mine, and nothing would stop me from having it. So, instead of removing the object, I ripped the tag from the jewelry. Doing the same to the seed before stuffing it into my bag, I wandered my way to the cash wrap, where I had agreed to meet my companions. 

I knew better than to wait, so slapping the potions and tags to the counter, I got to work checking out. Ringing up my finds, which, as per the signage, had been going for half price, I watched as the cost leapt with each additional item. After taking into account my employee discount, I was pleased to see that both objects and the potions would be mine for only two diamonds. Without a second thought, I ignored the exorbitant cost, withdrawing the precious stones and tossing them into the register, finishing my sale before any additional charges could be tacked on. 

Enjoying the rest of my time admiring the ruby bangle, I was eventually joined by the others.

“Iz!” Rionriv growled as she charged up, first to return and holding a gild in her hand. “What was this about?”

“What? No, it’s not—Phyllis!” I yelled out, only to be met with the lich's distant cackle from somewhere in the shop. "Phyllis, show yourself!"

"Don't blame her for your dirty thoughts! What were you thinking?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"That's crap, lecher! Your perversion knows no bounds! How often do you think about us in a way that results in gilding yourself?"

"Obviously not that often!"

"Ah-HA! So you agree that you think dirty thoughts about us!"

"I—"

"Oh no, am I late?" Aesandoral stumbled forward, struggling to maintain her hold over the items in her grasp.

Saved by the Aes!

"Just in time." I laughed, reaching out to take the haul from her to ring in. "I'll take those, Aes."

"Sister!" Rionriv rushed to her sister's side. "Did you also receive a gild from this sick-minded—"

"Okay, can we drop it?!"

With a shake of my head, I accepted Aesandoral's pile and began to scan her through. As I did, I inspected the items she brought to me. With the soft beeps from the barcode scanner, I rang in a pair of magically enhanced archery gloves, a ring of magic storing, another new bow with even more complex runic inscriptions, a pair of Phyllis Brand Sneakers like mine, and, finally, a ye olde-fashioned magical ghillie suit. 

"Where the fug'd you find this?" I muttered, examining the heavy cloak that was intricately woven with runes on one side and obnoxiously bushy on the other. "And are you sure you need it?"

"Yeah!" She replied excitedly, withdrawing her small sack of diamonds. "It'll help me be stealthy like Sharzin. Apparently, it's all-terrain!"

"Okay, if you say so," I replied, taking her money, before turning to Rionriv. "Next?"

"Perv." She mumbled back, placing her haul on the cash wrap.

"Could we not?"

As the sorceress continued with her burning glare that was hot enough to sear a hole through my head, I scanned the few items she had brought. Aside from the few dozen healing potions, the only other item in her haul was a gnarled wand with a sapphire stone embedded in the endcap.

"What's this?" I casually asked, looking at the pricey tool. "Costs a pretty copper."

"That's for me to know and you to find out." She responded, twisting her head away from me and towards the point-of-purchase displays before the cash wrap. "Hmm, I'll take two of these as well."

I watched as she reached down and withdrew a pair of Phyllis Brand Daylight Orbs, adding them to the pile. Without another word, I shrugged and finished with her sale. It was at this time that Sharzin finally reappeared with a bucket of chicken under her arm.

"Where's my poutine?" I asked the rogue as she stepped up to the counter.

"Get it yourself." She replied, licking her fingers before reaching behind her cloak and taking hold of the items she had gathered.

Reaching up, she slammed to the counter a rune-carved crossbow, a magical ghillie suit, and a special Phyllis Brand Sleep E-Z Shortword, with proximity detection magic. 

"Where are you finding these ghillie suits?" I inquired, ringing it in before looking back at the rogue. "And do you really need to be more stealthy?"

"I will be the night," Sharzin replied without skipping the beat. "No one will see me."

"Yeah, okay, Bat-Gal."

As I inspected the haul, I took a look at the crossbow that she had picked up. Glancing closely at the numerous runes already etched onto it, I knew that it was likely to be expensive. But, as I rang it in, her purchase didn't seem any more costly than either of the other girls. In fact, by the end of our shopping trip, my two items had been as expensive as everyone else's combined.

After debating internally whether my purchase had been unfairly priced and whether the seed had actually been worth it, the girls moved into my apartment to prepare for the journey ahead. It wouldn't take them long as they threw the ghillie suits over their shoulders, the thick fabric resting against their shoulders before their bodies all but blended into the room around them. 

"Holy shit!" I coughed, looking around for Aesandoral. "That's amazing! Maybe I should get one for me."

"No." Sharzin appeared behind me, causing me to yelp and turn back to her as she continued. "Remember, you get punched. No hiding."

I eyed the double layer of cloak over the rogue's shoulders, noticing how she struggled to flip up the hood of the item she had grown accustomed to.

"You're going to need to choose Zin," I remarked from my seat on the bed. "Extra, extra sneaky? Or sneaky with a teleportation skill?"

The look that came to Sharzin's face sent butterflies dancing around my stomach. I watched as she pouted, looking between both of the cloaks in her hands. I could see the cogs twisting in her mind as she tried to find a way to wear both before eventually deciding with a sigh. Choosing mobility over the additional stealth, she stuffed her new ghillie suit into her bottomless bag before finishing off her bucket of chicken and urging us to get moving.

Finally ready, we exited my apartment and made for the magosdromes. The terminals, busy with people travelling post solstice, were a nightmare to navigate, but eventually we passed through one of the most recently opened magosdromes.