Chapter 26:

He Who Fights Society Might Take Care Lest He Thereby Become Society.

Vorelando Magic


After an entire day of prayer and orgies, the boys decided a feast was in order.
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Kobe and Vorelando rolled up to a local Fill-Me-Up-Dad-A. By the time they arrived it was already lunch hour. Of the following day. They hadn’t slept, but they hadn’t needed to. They felt fresher than ever, thanks to the power of https://ko-fi.com/oscarhm.
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“I haven’t been here in ages, used to go every weekend with my mom after vore practice…”
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Kobe sensed that the memories associated with that statement had a bit more about them than initially suggested. He may not have known anything about Vorelando’s family but he knew not to prod.
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“Don’t even worry about it bro, it’s a Tuesday, make that a you day.”
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“You’re right, I’m gonna get myself a chicken sandwich.”
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Vorelando got in line and waited. Someone behind him recognized him and called out.
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“Are you Vorelando Jones? I’d recognize those cheeks anywhere! Can I have your autograph?”
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“Fuck off.”
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Vorelando whipped his neck around one hundred and eighty degrees without turning his body. The line moved forward at the same time you see, and he wanted to get his chicken sandwich ASAP. He always moved forward, even when his neck and head were turned back. That had always been his motto when it came to the chicken sandwich.
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He stared down at the puny man who had spoken to him out of turn.
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“What made you think you could speak to me? I ought to eat you right now. I would, if you wouldn’t ruin my upcoming chicken sandwich.”
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“I’m so sorry Vorelando sir! Let me make it up to you, I’ll pay for that chcicken sandwich myself!”
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“No, your white money would only stain the flavour of an otherwise marvelous sandwich. If you seek repentance, you can instead donate to https://ko-fi.com/oscarhm. “
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“Yes, your Voreness!”
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As the man got out his phone to navigate to https://ko-fi.com/oscarhm, Vorelando cracked his neck back around.
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He was one spot away from the register now. That sandwich was practically in his mouth.
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After what felt like an eternity, he was allowed to make his order.
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“Welcome to Fill-Me-Up-Dad-A how can we fill you today?” an unenthusiastic girl asked him.
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“I’d like you to absolutely stuff me with your finest chicken sandwich.”
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“Would you like to make that a meal?”
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“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
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“OK, that’ll be 3500 Vs.”
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She gestured towards the DNA analyzer to her left.
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It had been years since there had been a thing like physical money, or even bank accounts. All of the wealth you accumulated was now tied directly to your DNA sequence. Everyone agreed that this was fine, a good thing really. Everyone would tell you they agreed.
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Vorelando spat into the machine and it sent a signal to the big computer that handles all the money telling it to subtract 3500 Vs from Vorelando’s balance. He had never once checked his balance, as the son of Voran Magic, the wealth attached to his DNA was more than he’d ever need.
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The employee handed him his receipt and he went to grab a table. Kobe, who had been in the other line, joined him.
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“What did you get?” Vorelando asked.
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“Chicken sandwich.”
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“You know what’s good.”
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The two decided to solve ethics while they waited for their chicken sandwiches.
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“Oh my god, it was so simple.” Vorelando said.
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“Yes, now that we have donated to https://ko-fi.com/oscarhm, the mathematical solution to ethics has become clear to us.” Kobe said.
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The employee from before brought the chicken sandwiches to their table.
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“I’m glad I was able to fill you both up today.” She dryly mumbled the company mandated phrase and then went back behind the till.
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“She’s a bit of a downer isn’t she?” Said Vorelando.
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“It matters not, she delivered the goods.” Kobe gesticulated.
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As Vorelando unwrapped his chicken sandwich, he felt his mind running away from his control.
Look at that subtle crisping of the chicken. The tasteful thickness of it… Oh my God, it even has the lettuce.
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As he thought this, Vorelando’s hands clenched and he felt the sweat running down his face. It looked so good. He hadn’t had a chicken sandwich in so long and he had sorely missed the flavour. Even though he hadn’t realized, he was dying of thirst all this time. The thirst for a chicken sandwich.
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He picked it up, the soft squish of the buns was immaculate. The waft of that chicken sandwich scent invaded his nostrils. This was the kind of edging only a chicken sandwich could provide.
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He bit in. Immediately the crunch of the chicken hit him through those sweet sweet buns, then it was the refreshingly perfect lettuce. It was everything he remembered.
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Nearly.
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The chicken? Untouchable. The buns? S tier. The lettuce? Best to ever to do it.
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But where was it? It was missing a crucial element.
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“Kobe, there ain’t no mayo on my chicken sandwich.”
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“Yeah?”
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Kobe took a bite out of his own.
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“Do we have to ask for mayonnaise now? On a fucking chicken sandwich?”
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“I mean I don’t really see the big deal.”
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“’I don’t see the big deal’ looking ass. What’s next, am I going to have to ask for them to salt my fries next time I order something?”
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“You should’ve asked this time, they ain’t salt your fries.”
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“?????” Vorelando responded.
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Kobe picked up one of the salt packets on their tray.
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“That’s what these are for.”
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“That’s ridiculous.”
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“Look, why don’t you just ask them to put some mayo on if you’re that gay for mayo.”
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“Why didn’t I ask the doctor to cut the umbilical cord when I was born Kobe? Because I shouldn’t fucking have to, it’s literally a chicken sandwich.”
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He took another bite out of his mayoless chicken sandwich before punching a hole through the table.
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“This isn’t good enough, I’m complaining.”
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Vorelando stood up and cut in front of the line to voice his displeasure. He was met with the face of the disinterested girl who had taken his order.
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“Sir, you’re holding up the line.”
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“They can wait, I’d like to make a complaint.”
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“Sigh… of course sir, if you weren’t fully filled by me, then I have not fulfilled my duties. What’s the problem?”
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“There was no mayo on my chicken sandwich.”
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“Oh, uh, you didn’t ask for any.”
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“No, I didn’t.”
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Vorelando could hear the annoyed murmurs of the line behind him. He flexed his back muscles angrily and everyone behind him shut up, moving to the other line.
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“I’m sorry sir, but what’s the problem then?”
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“The problem is I ordered a chicken sandwich and it came without mayo.”
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“But it doesn’t come with mayo as standard.”
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“Since fucking when?”
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“I don’t know, I only started here this month.”
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Vorelando’s anger was growing. He had half a mind to vore this bitch right here and now. However, he was more concerned about getting a prime chicken sandwich.
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“Fine. Fine. Can you at least put so mayo on it now.”
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“Sure.”
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She reached under the counter and picked up a couple of mayo packets, sliding them across to him.
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“What the fuck is this?”
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“Your mayo.”
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“This is plastic, Diane.”
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“With mayo inside.”
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Vorelando slammed his fist on the counter, cracking it in tow. Seeing this, Kobe decided it was time to start evacuating people discreetly.
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“Is this a joke? Are you trying to piss me off?”
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“What do you want from me? All of our mayo comes like this!” Diane(?) cried.
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“Seriously?! What the fuck am I supposed to do with these?! Do you want me to lick up some mayo and then take a bite of my scuffed sandwich to simulate a real chicken sandwich????”
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“You just squeeze it onto the sandwich.”
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“With what???????”
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With your hands?????
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“Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
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Kobe had finally gotten all the customers out of the shop and was now trying to get the staff out.
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“Kobe! Stop! None of the staff leave without my say, they need to see this!”
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Kobe silently backed away and slipped out the entrance.
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“One more time Diane, how am I meant to get the mayo onto my fucking sandwich? Do I just put the sachet in between the lettuce and chicken? Am I meant to enjoy the taste of plastic??”
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“Oh my god, fuck off.”
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Vorelando’s eyes went wind. All of the staff cowered in fear except for Diane(?), who was preparing to run.
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“You shouldn’t have said that.”
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Vorelando vaulted over the broken counter and Diane(?) bolted for the emergency exit.
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Sensing he wouldn’t make it to the door before her, and wanting her death to happen in a fitting setting, Vorelando picked up one of the baskets they use to cook the fries and hurled it at the door. He dented it so badly that Diane(?) couldn’t open it.
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“Nooooooooooo! Stay away!” Diane(?) screamed as she picked up a knife to protect herself.
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Vorelando strolled up to her, grabbed the knife out of her hand by the blade and stabbed her with the handle. She fell to the floor and started coughing up blood.
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“All of you look at her! Look at what she made me do!” Vorelando screeched at the terrified employees.
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He ripped open several packets of buns, laying them across the floor like a bed before flipping Diane(?) onto it. Then he grabbed all the mayo packets and started tearing them open one by one.
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“Just squeeze it on.”
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He emptied a packet of mayo on her.
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“Just squeeze it on.”
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Another packet.
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“Just squeeze it on.”
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Another, another and another. By the time he was done Diane(?) was covered head to toe in mayo. He finished off his meal by covering the top half in buns too.
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Then he started munching.
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He ate her like he would any chicken sandwich. With mayo.
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Diane(?) had long since suffocated underneath the mountain of mayo, so the screams ringing around the kitchen were not hers but those of her cowokers.
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For the next hour they watched him devour his Diane(?) sandwich, not one of them daring to call for help, only silently sobbing.
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When he was finished, he stood up and proclaimed.
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“This is how you make a chicken sandwich, you got that?! Put the fucking mayo on it next time!”
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His face dripping with blood and mayo as he took his leave that day.
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It was another day that would define Vorelando Jones, another day where he challenged society and won.
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