The boy and the lady

The day was slowly coming to an end, the trees grew silent and the beast began to tire. Although, somewhere is this lush green forest a disturbance approached. One that wouldn’t let the forest have its rest.

****

*Smack*

“Take that foul beast! That’s what you get for picking a fight with the likes of me!”

Man this is fun! Around this time the hunters start coming in for dinner, meaning I get the forest all to myself! I can climb trees and play knights&dragons all I want!

…But it does get a little lonely at times, who am I kidding! I love it here! Especially since no one’s around to bully me, or treat me like a kid!

You wanna be a knight, that’s rich!

Maybe you should be a little reasonable, little guy!

Being a knight’s a little too dangerous don’t you think, I don’t want you to get hurt!

Those guys can go kick rock’s, I don’t care what anyone says. I’m gonna achieve my dream no matter what!

“Take this! Knight Style, Spin Attack!”

I practiced my super cool killer move, I’ve been getting better at it lately. I bet I can keep spinning like this forever-

*Tap*

“Wahhh!!!”

My foot ended up hitting a stone and I tripped and hurt my knee. I scraped it a bit and put a hole in my pants but I’m good. Wait, where’s my stick? I looked up and saw my stick ricochet from tree to tree. That’s the best stick I’ve found thus far, I can’t practice being a knight without a proper sword!

“Hey! Get back here!”

I ran after my stick as it continued to hit the trees, eventually I lost sight of it. Great, now I’ll never be a kni-

*Smack*

“What The Hell Was That!”

…Was that a voice? I walked in the direction I heard the voice, eventually I stumbled upon a lake. The water had a strange glow to it and there were blue and white flowers growing around it, but that’s not what drew my attention. What drew my attention was a head poking out of the lake, and in its hands was my stick. It had a soggy gray mane, and seemed to be squinting at it.

“Is this a stick? Did that bitch chuck this at me, what a skank!”

Wow, I never heard so much profanity before! No way, that head looks like a woman’s! Is that one of those sea hags mom told me about? I thought she was joking! Uh oh, I forgot to eat my veggies today! That means she’s gonna eat me! Wait, I don’t know that for-

“Imma find whoever threw this piece of s*** and kick their ass!”

…I’m Done For! I gotta get outta here before she can find me!

*Snap*

I looked down to see the twig I just stepped on, and despite my wishes when I looked up the hag was staring at me. Our eyes were staring at one another, hers were bulging like an owl and mine trembling with fear. I gotta say something, maybe I can reason with her.

“Pleae wait, I don’t taste-”

“Ahhh! Crap!”

She immediately dove into the water, with my stick in hand. Oh No, she’s gonna have me for dinner, I gotta get outta here! I turned to run, but just before I could move my feet.

“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“Ahhhhhhhh!!! Devil Music!!!”

I knew death was imminent, but a man always faces it face first. I turned expecting death to await me, but instead was greeted by a beautiful woman. She wore a dress that flowed as if it was made by water, her hair was a shiny white, and her eyes were a soft blue. For some reason, her face was red. Besides that her hands were behind her back.

“Oh young man!”

“Eh! You don’t mean me, do you?”

“Of course I do, you’re the only twer-Young man in the vicinity.”

“Oh I-Wait, where’s that Sea Hag I saw?”

Upon asking that, something emerged from the lake at high speed and pierced a nearby tree. I nearly peed watching the tree fall over, yet the strange woman only responded to that with a light chuckle. She closed her eyes and smiled at me.

“Oh young man, please come closer.”

“...Huh?”

“Please don’t make me ask again.”

“Y-Yes!”

The smile she wore reminded me of my mother’s when she’s mad, I walked up to her and stood trembling. Uh oh, I called her a hag didn’t I! She must be upset with me! I looked directly at her face and noticed a vein bulging on her forehead, she’s gonna smite me isn’t she!

“Now then…”

“Ah! No wait please!”

“Did you drop this stick or this stick!”

…Huh? She’s not gonna hit me, wait why is she asking me about sti-Holy Smokes! In her hands were two sticks, one of them was gold! I don’t know which one the other was.

“In my hands are two sticks, one silver and one gold. Tell me, which one of these did you drop in my lake?”

I see, so the other one is silver, it’s the same color as her hair! Wait, why is she asking me all this?

“No need to fret, I simply want to return your property to you.”

Return my property, no way! I can take one of those home! I’d be rich wouldn’t I, I’d have something to brag about to everyone! Wait, wouldn’t I be stealing from this lady though and stealing is wrong. Then again, it would be nice to treat mom to something good. Alright, I’ve decided!

“I dropped the gold one!”

I pointed at the stick in the lady’s left hand, her response to me was a smile.

“Ho ho, but this isn’t the stick that bonked me on the head!”

“Eek!”

Her response to my lie was a snake-like grin, she slowly opened her eyes to reveal a predator-like glare. Eep! I’m in trouble aren’t I! She began approaching me while hitting the stick against her palm, I couldn’t help but start shaking as I bowed my head and prepared to get hit. Instead, I felt something soft press and rub against my hair.

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad, but promise me you’ll be careful okay? No more lies either, what if I was in need of the gold more than you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t help but feel ashamed, I was completely wrong. I was wrong to come into the forest alone, I was wrong to be playing around with my stick the way I was, I was wrong for lying, and most of all I was wrong for thinking this nice lady would hurt me. This whole time I was thinking of myself, a true knight wouldn’t do that! They’d think about others!

“Now now, no need to cry.”

“*Sniff* B-But I-”

“A man shouldn’t cry, besides I’m not upset. I’m just a little disappointed, but that’s okay. That said, you dropped this right?”

The lady handed my stick back, do I even deserve this?

“I-I can’t accept this after what I did.”

“It’s an honor when a knight receives a sword from his lady, if you have a problem then prove you’re worthy of it.”

Prove that I’m worthy? That’s right, if I ran away now I’d be nothing but an idiot kid! If I wanna be a real knight I gotta be responsible, only then can I protect my home!

“...I understand, I accept my sword with pride!”

“Excellent, now take this and run along! Oh, and we can’t have your knee looking like that can we.”

The lady snapped her fingers, suddenly water surrounded my scrapped knee and healed it. It even fixed the hole in my pants! After that she motioned me to turn around and I saw fireflies lighting the way, is this the route back home? I began running back the way I came, but before I left there’s something I outta do.

“Thank you nice Lady! I’ll be back to thank you one of these days!”

“No worries young one, and please don’t come back. It’s too dangerous in this part of the woods.”

After one last look at that pleasant smile, I made my way back home. I also couldn’t help but start blushing, this is the first time I met a woman nicer than my mom. Maybe I’m a real knight now, after all, now I got a lady to protect!

****

The brat began walking down the path I set up for him, I should’ve led him to rattlesnake ridge. Little asshole, now then…

“3, 2, 1…Yep I think he’s gone!”

Just in case, I looked to make sure no one was around. Excellent, my image is spared! Now then-

“F***************************************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

That Little pubeless s***! How dare he throw a F***ing Stick at me! What’s worse, I was in the middle of my bath! I was in my zen when suddenly a f***ing branch hits me out of f***ing nowhere! F***ing Little S***! This is why I f***ing hate kids, s***! I breathe in and out in an attempt to appease my sanity. I then walk over to the tree I toppled, and remove my projectile I threw. It was my specially ordered aquaveil soap, the bar was now snapped clean in half.

“....”

In despair, I fell to my knees. Tears began to well in my eyes, but not before I could slam my fist into the ground repeatedly. Crushing the soap into smaller fragments and making a sizable crater, making my lake lopsided. However, I didn’t care about that. I only cared about my precious soap, and to that end I spared no profanities.

“You Cocky Little S***! If I catch you over here again, Aurelia as my witness, I’ll punt your sorry ass to the sky!”