The Lady's Reprieve

It was a gorgeous day. The birds sang happy songs, the flowers were in bloom, and I just finished patching that hole I made last week. Peace has finally returned to my lake, all is good. I found myself maintaining the same image I usually maintain on days like these, pretending to drink imaginary tea from the porcelain cup on my pearl white table. The humans need to think we’re noble and refined, otherwise they might try to pull one over on us. Although, it has been a while since anyone actually came on business. Not to mention, that twerp kept our promise and hasn’t returned to bother me.

“Sweet, in that case!”

I immediately placed my cup back on the table, grabbed the table itself, and happily chucked the damn thing back into the lake. I stood up from that uncomfortable chair I’ve grown to despise and took out my recliner. I then brought out my cute little side stand and took out the chilled ale I’ve been saving, time to relax.

“Not like anyone will stop by anytime soon, so I might as well enjoy myself!”

I pulled out a glass and some marbled ice, and then I poured. The moment the glass was full, the alcohol entered my throat soon after. Finally, with this my faith in humanity has been restored! With that I sat on my recliner, spread like a starfish, drinking chilled ale, and being the exact opposite of a refined lady.

“It’s been a hectic week, I deserve this. Even if someone shows up, why should I give a s***.”

What’re they gonna do, snitch on me. They don’t have the boss on speed dial, so I’m a-okay! Now I can sit back and relax, the weather’s too nice for all that work anyway. Although if I really want to take an edge off, no if I did that I’d really be boned. Then again…

I began looking around my vicinity to make sure no one was around, especially no observers. The last thing I want is to get written up for this.

“Hehe, imma do something bad!”

I took out my trunk and started sifting through it, eventually I found it. My old friend, my pipe! I then pulled out my other trunk, and pulled out my jar of aged Poca leaves. It was a gift for helping some fae a while back, and now imma use them. They say the older the leaf the stronger the effect, and considering all the s*** I’ve had to put up with. I could use that extra kick. I took out the one gift that opposing element bitch gave me, which I’m thankful for. That being my lighter, it’s duck shaped but it works.

“Time to get lit up!”

I crammed the leaves in there and started the light, but right before I could ignite my passion.

*Rustle*

Are those footsteps? Crap! I found myself rushing to put my s*** away, if I get caught like this I wouldn’t hear the end of it. I’ve flown too close to the sun today. The footsteps got closer and I began to panic, I’m pretty sure everything’s-

“S***, my herbs!”

My dumbass left the Poca leaves out, I grabbed the jar and chucked it into the lush green behind my lake. With that I sat back in that uncomfortable chair, made an uncomfortable smile, and pretended to drink that make-believe tea. My performance is A-tier, I’m officially ready to go live.

“Let’s see the unlucky bastard who ruined my perfect day.”