A conversation in the graveyard

I get home in a hurry, realizing what just happened. Concluding that Imada was created out of a lot of hypocrisy, I perceive that I got my hands on the perfect weapon to shut her mouth. Obviously, blackmail is illegal, but it is not as if she is more sacred, given that the gossip is severely punished and violates the rules imposed by Golden Power.

I take off my shoes in a rush and take advantage of the fact that my parents have left home for work, so I don't shy away from making noise. I go straight to my desk and hide the note in my diary until I decide what to do with it. I sit at my desk without washing my hands and start writing down what happened.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I close the diary, noticing how the pen cut the sheet in half through a pressed line. I put the diary inside the desk and answer in a trembling voice, not realizing what's going on.

“Iwamoto, what's wrong with you?” my mom asks me, entering the room with a worried expression.

I shake my head and then shrug, watching my mother's eyes full of suspicion. Her gaze falls to the floor, and her eyes widen, gaping and frowning. I follow her stare, seeing the note on the floor that I found in Imada's locker.

My mother violently and suddenly enters the room, going straight to the note, but I lean in front of her and grab it faster than her, then get up from my chair and confront my mom.

“Give me the note, please,” my mother says, holding out her hand.

I shake my head, clenching my fist behind my back.

“What is this behavior, Iwamoto?”

“Why are you home?” I ask, trying to avoid her questions.

“It was an inspection. We had to come home from work to deceive inspectors. Are you going to tell me what you're hiding?”

I close my eyes slowly, feeling more chills run through my body. First, I predict the inspection of the house, then I intuit that the teacher will listen to us at school, and then I can imagine how Imada falls as if I created all this. I hand her the note in fear, realizing that much stranger things are happening to me than a note found in Imada's locker.

My mom grabs the paper and reads it, her expression becoming more and more shocked and terrified. She looked at me waiting for an explanation.

“Because I'm being punished having to clean the school after class, I found this note in Imada's locker. Because she is my friend, I decided that it is better for me to take it than the maid who could rat her...

“You have to rat her,” my mother ordered me in a strict tone.

My eyebrows frown in disgust and confusion. I look at her confused, waiting for her to continue, but my mother doesn't say any other word. Instead, she hands me the note and puts her head down with an expression full of disappointment. My mother walks out and, without turning to face me, says:

“The inspection went well. They didn't find any other things you were hiding, such as the tube behind the sink,” she says, coming out and closing the door behind her.

I get stuck, feeling my legs rooted to the spot. I hold the note and look at it, trying to think of my next move. I sit down at my desk again, continuing to write in my diary as if I were enchanted by it. I write everything that happened, but without realizing it, I start writing something completely different:

Nagamine, my life has been going crazy since you died. Not only do I have the feeling that I'm going crazy because I keep dreaming about you and I see you next to me like you're alive, but I'm starting to think I have supernatural powers, which is stupid. But the way I pushed Imada's hand, the way I imagined her falling off the curb, all the premonitions that came true... 

Nagamine, I need to get rid of you once and for all. So I will write you this letter and you will leave me alone and you will rest peacefully where you are. 

Nagamine, you have been and will always be the most important person in my life. I loved you, I love you and I will always love you. If I could turn back time, I would have killed myself, too. If I had known things would be this way, I would have committed suicide just like you. At least we would have done it together. 

Nagamine, why do you come to me all the time? Why do not you let me? What do you want to show me with that mirror in my dreams? 

Nagamine, why are you running and scared all the time? You should rest, not run after me!
-IA

I close the diary, feeling my body heavy as if I'm dizzy. I put the diary back on the desk and change my uniform into lighter clothes that I will take with me when I go to NPI to change my To-Do List.

Then, as if I were controlled by someone other than my being, I take the diary from the desk drawer and tear up the page with the letter I made to Nagamine. I take a metal box in which I kept some older notebooks, giving a tidy air to the desk closet, and put the letter in the lid. I take my backpack, put Imada's note in a smaller pocket, put the metal box with Nagamine's letter, and take my To-Do List file to change at NPI.

I put on my shoes and without saying a word to my parents, assuming that my father is at home, I go out without looking back. I take the bike and head straight for the NPI without stopping elsewhere. Just because it is an institute, NPI does not have the right to have several floors, which is why it looks like a normal building. However, inside it is completely different.

Although it is completely white like any other building in the Region, the halls are full of statues and paintings much more interesting than what the art classmates do. They are very old paintings and from what I understood from the guitar teacher, many of them, being too controversial, are kept somewhere careful not to come out.

I'm going to the NPI office, to the front office. Many women, all with glasses, look at the bright and strange screens that we know are computers, although we do not have access to such machines. In fact, I don't think I'll be working on a computer at school until next year, but I'm not sure if this information escaped from Nagamine or was a pompous lie circulating around the school.

“Hello, I have this request,” I say, handing out the sheet I received from the school.

The woman takes my ticket and asks for my file, telling me to stay in the waiting room. This room is very spacious, clean, and quiet. It has many chairs, a few tables, and classical music that can be heard in the background.

Because everything in our world is programmed and moves very fast, the woman brings me a new file in less than ten minutes. I stuff the file in my backpack and leave the building, realizing that I have to make a very important and dangerous stop. The road to the graveyard is not long at all, actually getting home and riding a few minutes by bike.

“Iwamoto?” I hear a familiar voice shouting my name.

I put the brakes on and turn around to find Furukawa and Hokama. The two have glasses full of tea that they took from the downtown cafe. That means they had a meeting scheduled. Because I work after school, and my schedule is busy, I can't see myself with them. Imada is probably on various very romantic dates with Mano.

“Hi girls!” I tell myself, getting off my bike.

The girls greet me too. When we are little, we are taught that when we receive a bicycle permit, it is necessary and common sense to get off it, if someone greets us on the street.

“What are you doing, Iwamoto?”

“I just went to NPI for the new program, and now I'm going home.”

"Oh, we still have some free time," Furukawa says, exchanging different glances with Hokama. “We can take you home.”

Perfect. How lucky I am. I smile lightly and forcefully, heading for my house. Which ruins my plans. Only family, close friends, and soulmate can go to someone's cemetery, so my visit to Nagamine's grave is strictly forbidden.

“I was pretty sad when I saw I couldn't go out with you, Iwamoto.”

“Well, Furukawa, I have work to do after school. That incident that the whole high school knows about anyway and I don't need to mention it, brought me a one-month sentence. Hmm...” I say thoughtfully. “Do you have any idea who might have the initials TK?”

“What the…?” Hokama asks in shock.

“I found these initials written on a school bench in the reading room,” I'm lying. “I was wondering if you knew who that person was because I should report the incident.”

"Don't look at me," Furukawa says.

"It could be Tsutsui Koichi, a student in our year, but from the other class," Hokama says in a shaky voice.

Hokama knows. More questions are shown on her face. And although she doesn't open her mouth, I hear her ask where the initials were found.

“Not Imada's,” I say, testing the ground.

“What?!” Hokama asks in a panic.

“You asked me if it was in Imada's place and I answered you,” I continue confused, stopping for a few seconds instead.

"Iwamoto, I didn't ask anything," Hokama says with a frightened face.

“Yes, you just asked me two seconds ago...”

“No, Iwamoto.” Hokama continues absolutely terrified.

I keep quiet by continuing to go home. Soon we arrive, and the silence is felt more and more, creating a very tense moment. Hokama's terrified expression is also a factor in this very strange moment.

“Well, thank you for leading me. I'll go now,” I say, saying goodbye to them.

“Bye, Iwamoto!” Furukawa says, shaking my hand.

Hokama says absolutely nothing, lowering her gaze as if seeing her tremble. I enter the house and wait a few moments for the two to move away from the direction we came from together, knowing that I will have to go in the opposite direction.

When the two seem that they disappeared, I leave the house and without unlocking the bike, I head to the cemetery. It is not far from my house, arriving immediately.

However, my mind flies to the incident with Hokama, believing more and more that I managed to read her thoughts. She clearly knew about Tsutsui Koichi and Imada, and moreover, she knew that the two were leaving notes to each other. That's why she panicked when I said Imada's name.

I arrive in front of the cemetery and when I enter, a massive man stops me.

“Name, please.”

“Asato Keiichi,” I'm lying because I have no relatives buried in this cemetery.

He checks a list on the computer and lets me pass when he sees that the sister Nagamine Keiichi has come to visit him. I walk down the main alley, then turn left onto a path, looking at every tombstone, until I see Nagamine's. I sit on the bench and before I leave the letter, I allow myself to take a few moments of pause, just existing and feeling.

“You came at last,” I hear a voice too familiar, tears immediately bursting from my eyes.

I turn around and Nagamine sits next to me as if he's alive.

“How you...?”

“I know why you came. Let's unravel some memories.”

“Nagamine, you can't show up like that all the time and turn my life upside down...”

“But I don't turn your life upside down.”

“Yes, Nagamine. I feel like I'm going crazy, you know,” I say nervously, almost yelling at him.

It's the first time I feel like screaming at Nagamine. I even slapped him on the face without remorse.

“I'm sorry... I promised to protect you...”

“And do you think it works? Do you think you're protecting me? Because since you died, my life has gone completely crazy.”

"But that's not my fault, Iwamoto," he says in a calm voice, taking my hand.

“Nagamine... why do I feel like you're alive like you're next to me and like I'm really touching your hand?”

Nagamine says nothing and just smiles.

“Nagamine, am I the only one who can see you?”

He nods without saying another word. He looks at me and smiles at me as if waking up my whole being and as if something inside me is sprouting.

‘Do you remember when we played Hide and Seek at the boarding school? he asks me, laughing.”

I nod, smiling.

“Do you remember when we kissed behind the boarding school tree?”

"Or when we kissed on the bench at school when you just entered in, without anyone seeing us?" he continued.

"May I kiss you again?" I ask, shedding tears.

Nagamine's hand rose slowly, wiping away my tears with a faint touch as if touching me harder would break me into thousands of shards. He puts my hair behind my ear and I don't feel like he is kissing me.

“For the last time?”

He and I knew we could never have a relationship, but that didn't stop us from giving each other a few kisses and hugs. It was a moment I can't remember very well, but I know that was the first time he touched me. That was the last time the two of us behaved so rudely, and the kisses and hugs stopped abruptly.

I close my eyes and let go, being led by him. I can feel his breath closer, lightly touching my lips with his. My body seems to melt as we kiss as if merging our bodies.

I open my eyes and Nagamine is gone. I let the last tears run down my cheeks, but without realizing it, a cry that I can't control suddenly breaks out. I get up from the bench, take the metal box from my backpack, and sit down. I start digging a little in Nagamine's grave, carefully placing the letter with the entire metal box. Then I put back the ground I had set aside, stand up and look, barely distinguishing the objects around me because of the tears that fill my eyes.

“Goodbye, Nagamine Keiichi.”