Learned nothing

I got out of bed today without too much effort, and even felt like properly fixing my hair for once.

The brush ended up full of dark blond hairs. Perhaps I'd go bald in the near future—but for now, my head looked lush like a meadow. Interestingly enough, I had no bags under my eyes. Must've slept better than I thought. But even if that hadn't been the case, they'd blend in the tan of my skin, and most people focused more on the random light spots in my body than anything else.

There was that one kid I'd met once. She said I looked like a cow with white patches over dark instead of the other way around. Such a cutiepie.

I noticed another unusual detail in the man in the mirror: a smile, the kind I didn't have to think about to maintain. Today really was an odd day, huh.

Better enjoy it while it lasts.

After splashing some water in my face, I got out of the bathroom fresh like kale.

"Morning, Dori."

"Oscar! Nice to see you." He usually didn't appear this early. His company fostered my mood while I went on cleaning my bedroom, more thoroughly than I'd done in weeks. I even defeated the dreadsome mold that had recently claimed ownership of one of the high corners.

For breakfast, I decided to put in some extra effort by doing a short trip to the marketplace.

During my travels, my eyes were drawn to the porcelain covered buildings—mostly white, adorned with elegant patterns of blue, orange or sometimes green. Beautiful, but-oh-so frail. One small crack at the base, and the humidity would seep in, mold would fester within the concrete structure, rot it from inside. Then one day, out of nowhere, the building would collapse.

…

There were also modest canals at my feet, most of them dry during this season. They toured the entire city to carry the water away during more humid days.

I reached my destination soon enough, and obtained all the goods needed to fulfill my noble goal of preparing and consuming a fresh fruit salad accompanied with jam rice, an old family recipe.

After returning home and cooking my succulent feast, I sat in my living room ready to enjoy it. Oscar stood next to the table and admired my creation.

"Neat meal, Dori. Looks delicious."

A mischievous grin sprouted in my face. "Want to try some?"

"Really? Can I?"

"Sure."

"Great! Thanks a—wait. I actually can't… barnacles! Dori, you're teasing me."

"Sorry, sorry, you just make it so easy sometimes."

"Now you gotta make it up to me by savoring every single bite of your meal."

My posture softened at the tenderness of that silly phrase. Only Oscar could give such remarks with a straight face and without hiding any second meanings.

ᗢ⫘⫘⫘⫘𖦹⫘⫘⫘⫘♡

I got summoned by the Council.

You should've seen this coming.

I should've. No wonder the day was turning out so well.

On top of that, Oscar had lost himself a short while ago, so I'd have to face this alone.

No, perhaps it's worse, I thought as I skipped over the brook surrounding the Palace. It could be that I'm not the only one they've called for.

A patrolling knight had seen me. Rather than vaulting over the creak, people were meant to walk to one of the porcelain-covered bridges and cross over like a sane person. Still, all he did was salute and move on—not even a word about my mildly disrespectful antic. Maybe it would've been better if he had said something, if he'd stopped me and scolded me for a brief—or lengthy—while.

The palace loomed ahead. I didn't tilt my head up and instead focused on my sandals, making sure to avoid the lines between each tile. When it came time to cross the gateway, I had to leap to get all the way to the tiles inside.

Then I started counting them—an effective way to forget about what awaited at the end. Perhaps too effective.

Eighty five. Eighty six. Now skip over one for eighty eight. And then eighty—

"What the fuck are you doing, you wet-head?"

Oh dear.

She was here. Deep orange in a puffy mane almost as long as she was tall—impossible to overlook even if you didn't turn your head down in her direction.

"Hi, Betta."

"Don't you 'Hi, Betta' me. Get in already. You're the last to arrive, unsurprisingly."

"Sorry, sorry, it was just that—"

"I didn't ask."

She sent me through the door of the meeting room with the tact of a hippo. Most eyes immediately shot at me like I'd come wearing a funny hat. Two of the present frowned, another barely contained a scowl, one of them appeared too overwhelmed with paperwork to care, and the last of them—Oscar's brother—looked at me like… well… like I was the lowest scum of the world.

And he had the right to think so.

Then there was Rasbora, who gifted me a faint wave before pointing at the empty seat next to her. Bless that girl.

Part of me still felt cross about everyone keeping her in the dark, but at least it paid off in situations like these.

Betta sat as far from me as possible, which wasn't saying much considering there were only four chairs for us Paladins. The last spot—between her and Rasbora—remained empty. We were set in a line next to one another—in contrast, the table of the Council was round, located in a pit built a step lower than the rest of the room. Supposedly it embodied some kind of symbolism about the Council serving the nation like the ground beneath our feet.

There were currently five members after they… well, sent a certain someone back home in what had to be the most unfair punishment in history.

The eldest began speaking.

"Our knights' search for the Paladin of Justice has been long and exhaustive, expending many many resources, and its lack of results has had an increasingly negative effect on the population." I clenched my fists. But have you found them? "Yet there's been no hint of anyone in the known world possessing the Blessing."

Rasbora's hunched posture sank into herself further. Betta clicked her tongue.

I relaxed.

It meant things would stay the same, at least for a while longer.

Betta raised her arm, and the eldest of the Council gave her the word.

"Why are we here then? Do you mind getting to the point?" Thank you, Betta, make this meeting end sooner.

"Because the Cursed are destroying the world!" the man swimming in paperwork said. "Especially the Cursed Prince. That thing ruins whole environments just by existing. Wherever it goes, animals flee and vegetation rots away. The northern region is at the brink of anarchy."

She couldn't be that bad. People always overestimated the threat of the Cursed and exaggerated reports out of pure paranoia.

"We cannot wait any longer." The man struck the table. "Deal with it before the situation goes completely out of control."

What?

"You mean to send only the three of us?" Betta replied.

But my mind faded out of the rest of the conversation.

Instead, I heard a cry. Not quite human. Not quite unhuman. Of someone that might have been in between, but never got the chance to prove so.

The wide-open windows at the end of the room began to shrink. From above, the ceiling slowly lowered as if intending to crush me. My surroundings turned into that place: the cave where it all started. Dry. Dark. Two corpses at the center—the result of violence that perhaps could have been avoided.

Story repeated itself. We were being sent to deal with the problem. To kill her. Murder any chance for understanding.

You knew this was coming.

But I wished it never did.

Are you going to make the same mistake? Betray your oath again? Kill another Paladin?

I hadn't meant for any of that to happen.

But it did. And apparently you've learned nothing because you still hesitate despite knowing exactly what the correct choice is.

Killing should never be the correct choice.

ᗢ⫘⫘⫘⫘𖦹⫘⫘⫘⫘♡

As soon as the meeting ended, I bolted away, not caring how many stares would trail me. My steps echoed like claps in my ears. A knight tried to get in my way for some reason. I crashed into him, jostling the man away, then continued running despite the gripe of my bones.

The rest of the race blurred, smeared like mud over white sheets. Numbed like frozen limbs. I lost all feeling and didn't realize what a blessing that was until it all ended right when I sunk into my bed. The emptiness got quickly filled to the brim with sewage, threatening to spill out.

Hold it in.

Oscar could return at any moment. He shouldn't see you like this.

He shouldn't.

I buried my head under the pillow and tried to fall asleep. A vain attempt—the thoughts refused to leave me alone.

Then I heard a knock on the entrance. Or rather, a thud. Several. Intense like they wanted to break the door down.

Something settled in my stomach, and the idea of pretending I wasn't home crossed my mind.

But the noise kept going, refusing to stop.

…

I went downstairs, the strikes on the door growing more intense as I approached. It was going to be her, right?

The moment I took out the bar the visitor threw my door open.

"You, we need to talk."

It was Betta, ready to tear apart what little of me was still standing.