Chapter 55:

LIMLSB - 2 - temptation is a problem

I Won't Kill Myself for the Second Time


I blame the late night's time!

I blame the constant pleasant patting!

I blame the helicopter's gentle rocking!

I blame the body that I'm not used too!

I blame the tension overloading my brain!

I blame the events unfolding one after the other without sparing me a moment to rest!

In other words, I had most certainly fallen asleep in father's warm arms, clinging to his broad chest, like a little obedient girl. A memory that I had instantly eradicated and turned into a taboo topic that no one would ever talk about.

I need a strong distraction.

I had just woken up in one of the mansion's rooms - my former room. There was a small alarm clock placed on a bedside table to the left. It was 11:21 AM. Being in this place filled me with an incredible feeling of nostalgia, pouring out from deep inside and blending with every other emotion.

This room was bigger than the bedroom in our flat and this feeling of space was further emphasized by the fact that there were only a few things left within. Apparently, Viktoria had stripped it of almost every item and furniture.

There was no trace left of the punching bag that I had used only a few times before growing bored with it. Gone were the dumbells that had been rather popular as I could train and use the high-end pc at the same time - which also was nowhere to be found.

I really shouldn't, but as long as no one will find out...

I didn't see: the consoles or any of their respective games which I had been collecting; the books that had been mostly centered around the criminal and thriller genre; the clothes that had been devoid of any white or black ones as these colors had used to remind me of Viktoria; the anime posters on which a lot of busty and sexy pink haired girls had been posing, strangely, my taste changed a lot since that time; the small fridge in which I had stored different kinds of painkillers, muscle relaxant and other medications which were painstakingly obtained; the bookshelf behind which a telescopic stick had used to be hidden; the armchair... literally almost everything had been removed, but there were exceptions.

The bed on which I was lying under the thermal blanket; a dust-covered small wooden box placed in the corner; a large crate standing in the middle of the room and a bedside table with a new alarm clock - were present in the room.

"Mmmm~."

My back arched slightly due to alien and unexplored stimuli.

Damn… it feels good and different.

After running a quick outward scan of the surroundings and inward one of everything that had happened yesterday, I gathered all the uncomfortable facts and humiliating reactions on one pile and buried them deep in an abandoned corner of the mind. To be double sure they won't resurface any time soon, I poured three full servings of 'it couldn't be helped, it's this body fault' concrete on it.

"Ummh~."

A little sweet moan escaped from the moist lips as I bit on them gently due to a pleasant feeling I never knew before.

They're not exactly super soft, but really springy and fit into Violet's small palm perfectly. Not good, not good, the tips are getting way too pointy. Time to stop.

My whole body itched slightly and there was this unpleasant feeling of dirt hidden in its every nook and cranny, not to mention that the hair also lost its softness and was a mess. I decided to halt this highly anticipated check if there were no lingering effects of the tear gas and finish later - together with a very thorough washing of the whole body.

After some stalling, I unglued the hands that were busily kneading and improving my mood for the last few minutes.

I will get addicted to the feeling of these small apples by the time this week ends… that's bad... but if I convince Vio to join me, teenage blonde twins on each other… SHIT! STOP IT! STUPID BRAIN!

I had to do something or I would never be able to look at my little sister the same way. Moreover, this was an enemy territory, even if I felt like relaxing for a day and simply having some fun, it was a bad choice to do it in this place.

"I promi-"

- se not to defile my little sister's body.

Maybe… maybe… just a little should be fine…

An incredible wave of shame hit me like a speeding truck. To negate some of its effects I focused my attention on the crate in the middle of the room.

But it's normal, right? Everyone would want to try and see how it feels like for the other gender… if only this was Viktoria's or Rora's body, I wouldn't even bat an eye while doing it and even more! Arghhh!

Inside it were three compartments. One with the clothes and items that we had left in the cemetery - they had been washed and decontaminated. One with something that looked like a new set of clothes prepared for this petite, sensitive body. One with a towel and a plastic bag inside which were different toiletries.

Recalling a certain critical detail instantly put a stop to the internal conflict I was going through and made me violently dig out each of the items from the first compartment. I found both mine's and Vio's clothes, underwear, winter wear, and boots. Under them were two gas masks, two pair of handcuffs, two combat knives, two pen knives, two lighters, two pepper spray cans, two flashlights, two bug spray cans…

Come on, come one!

… my wristwatch, Vio's wallet, my wallet, Vio's phone, the used phone I bought…

Where is it?!

… the mana potion, the small shard of the past, the belt, the last tear gas grenade, the taser...

It has to be here! Please…

… a small golden locket without a chain and finally, under the camo backpack at the very bottom, there was the box that I was looking for.

Relieved, I took it and hugged to my meager yet springy breasts. It was locked and required a key, but as long as it was in my hands, that wasn't a problem.

I wouldn't be able to fully calm down till that promise to Luna was fulfilled and to make sure of that I had to grab DOLL with my own hands, however, the metal box proved to be sturdy. It resisted both the attempts at throwing it at the wall and at picking the lock with a knife. As a last resort, I thought of using the flame to see if it could be melted, Vio had said that it was hot, so maybe if I repeated it a few times it could do something.

A bright red stream of flame shot out from the finger pointed at the box and kept toasting it for about three seconds-

"Ouch, ouch, ouch!"

- till I slightly burned myself. The box didn't even get red.

This is pointless.

Sucking on my left pointing finger I changed the priorities. Carrying the box everywhere would be too suspicious so I put it inside the camo backpack and buried deep under everything which had been previously taken out from the compartment, except for one thing. Next, I wrapped the towel around myself, put the pen knife inside the plastic bag among the toiletries and decided to take a long, warm shower.

It was tempting to go and use the huge bath on the ground floor, to try out the jacuzzi, but it was too far and too public. The small bathroom on this floor was better suited for my needs.

It was locked.

The door to my room was locked.

Really now?

"Anyone's out there?"

"Affirmative."

This voice… damn.

"Laura, can you open the door for me?"

"Affirmative."

I waited for a while, but the door remained locked.

"Laura, open the door please."

"Please state the reason behind this request."

"Shower."

"Understood, please wait nineteen more minutes, until the full hour."

"What for?"

I asked in an irritated and confused voice.

"According to miss Viktoria's timetable, to not disturb the internal working of the maids, any showering procedure has to start at a full hour. Ten minutes are provided for washing and scrubbing the whole body, ten minutes for the hair care, twenty minutes for the recommended beauty treatments, fifteen minutes for drying and dressing, and the last five minutes are reserved for the adjustments and walking time."

It got that bad, huh?

Without me acting as the counterbalance to Viktoria's attempts at servants mechanization the situation had crossed the point before which it still could have been called her strange little quirk and blew out into a brand new realm of madness.

"Laura, where's Violet?"

"Inside the room that Laura is standing in front of."

Oh right, I'm Violet.

"What about the other Violet?"

"Incomprehensible question."

Listening to her talk like that hurt, especially when it had been my fault that she turned out to be this way.

She used to be so different... like at that time when I had to desperately explain to her the background story of every pink girl that was once hanging on the walls of this room and convince her to stop removing them while cleaning since they weren't just empty symbols of sexism, it was fun.

"Laura, state your orders."

"Constant supervision of Violet during her entire stay in the mansion, an order issued by miss Viktoria. The only exception is to be made when Violet will want to remain alone in Victor's room, a superior order issued by Mr. Amato."

Or the time when she wanted to be my sparring partner and we got too much into it and I knocked her out. For a month after that, the dinners were devoid of my favorite dishes.

She had been my favorite live-in maid and someone who had nearly attained the status of a friend, like Michael was to Violet, but at the end, she had easily lost to a perspective of an easy and Viktoria-free life.

Now she hates me.

To kill the remaining few minutes of waiting I decided to check the dust-covered wooden box in the corner. It was full of old photo albums. Each contained hundreds of pictures taken in normal everyday situations which every family was full of, like:

The one where we were still small kids, maybe five or six years old, small Vince was tied to one of the cherry trees in the background and me and Viki were throwing eggs at him.

The ones that were taken when we were visiting Paris, father disappeared with Viki for the whole day and when they finally came back she was extremely excited and was telling everyone how cool submarines were.

The one where a mini version of Vio was standing with a plush bunny between me and Viki who were screaming at each other. Father took that one... a whole series of them.

Why we were so mad back then… I don't remember.

The one that was taken when we were in the middle school. Vince stole a lot of Viki's underwear and distributed it among the kids. When my twin found out, she took three guards with dogs and ordered a school-wide search. Father made sure that anyone who was found with her panties or brassieres wouldn't show up in the school anymore.

Or the one-

"One minute remaining before beginning the showering procedure, please get ready."

My head hurts.

I closed the albums, put them back and, when Laura opened the door, there was no other choice than to give myself into her hands.

She wore a long black maid uniform with a white apron attached to the front and a big white ribbon which corners were sticking out from behind her hips. Entirely different from the wear-whatever-you-want style I had once ordered her to wear.

Is she like twenty-four or twenty-five now? Not exactly a beauty, but there was once this kind and warm, yet annoying, feeling around her… now it's gone.

Her red hair was tied tightly in a side bun and the cross-shaped scar on her cheek would mark her forever as Viktoria's property.

Laura took my hand and led to the bathroom where she made sure to follow the proper steps of showering, every single one of them and followed the schedule to a minute without any wasted or unnecessary moves.

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