Kisha vs Dandy Dan [Special]

"Welcome back. Now, I'm sure you all want to see me n' Dandy Dan play proper, so, we've got just that for you," Kisha smiled.

"Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dan, Dan," Dandy Dan mumbled as he tap danced.

"Color assignments are the same, but this time, we play for keeps," Kisha declared as she opened the game by moving her pawn to d3.

"Dandy Dan?" Dandy Dan scowled as he moved his pawn to e5.

"Variety. Think a guy who says the same thing over and over again could learn a thing or two about that," Kisha smirked as she moved her pawn to c4.

"I do say other things," Dandy Dan snarled as he moved his knight to f6.

"WAAH! HE SAID SOMETHING!" Kisha cried as she moved her bishop to g5.

"Of course I did. Now stop gawking at it," Dandy Dan growled as he moved his pawn to h6.

"Forget the game, I think the real scoop here is Dandy Dan talking normally," Kisha giggled as she captured the knight at f6 with her bishop.

"Then resign. The game's rated, so I'll get the elo," Dandy Dan snarled as he captured the bishop at f6 with his queen.

"Nice try, but I'm not," Kisha smirked as she moved her knight to f3.

"... Dandy Dan," Dandy Dan grumbled as he moved his pawn to e4.

"Hey! No reverting back to the Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dan, Dans!" Kisha fumed as she captured the pawn at e4 with her d-pawn.

Dandy Dan went silent as he captured the pawn at b2 with his queen.

"Oh you little, fine! Have it your way!" Kisha scowled as she moved her b-knight to d2.

Things continued on in silence with Dandy Dan moving his pawn to g6 and Kisha moving her rook to b1. Dandy Dan sidestepped the attack though, and captured the pawn at a2 with his queen, leaving Kisha seething as she moved her queen to b3. Dandy Dan excepted the trade and captured the queen at b3 with his queen, allowing Kisha to capture said queen with her knight.

Dandy Dan then moved his pawn to a5 as Kisha moved her pawn to e3. Dandy Dan was quick to move his pawn to d6, while Kisha began thinking for a bit before moving her bishop to d3.

"Dandy Dan," Dandy Dan mumbled as he moved his pawn to a4.

"Dandy Dan," Kisha growled as she moved her b-knight to d4.

"You mocking me?" Dandy Dan glared as he moved his bishop to g7.

"Oh look, you're talking normally again," Kisha sneered as she castled king's side.

"Big talk," Dandy Dan snarled as he moved his pawn to a3.

"Um, what?" Kisha asked as she moved her pawn to h3.

Dandy Dan said nothing and moved his pawn to a2.

"Oh, wise guy, huh?" Kisha scoffed as she moved her rook to a1.

Dandy Dan further incurred her wrath by moving his pawn to d5, forcing Kisha to move her knight to b5. And with that, Dandy Dan captured the rook at a1 with his bishop.

"Oh come on!" Kisha fumed as she captured the bishop at a1 with her rook.

Dandy Dan silently smirked as he moved his king to e7.

"Wipe that smirk off your face!" Kisha glared as she moved her pawn to e5.

"You giving up?" Dandy Dan taunted as he captured the pawn at e5 with his d-pawn.

"What does it look like!?" Kisha retorted as she captured the pawn at e5 with her knight.

"You are," Dandy Dan replied as he moved his knight to c6.

"Well I'm not! Check!" Kisha huffed as she captured the knight at c6 with her knight.

"How about now?" Dandy Dan smirked as he captured the knight at c6 with his b-pawn.

Kisha responded by moving her bishop to e4, and flipping off Dandy Dan.

"Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dandy Dan, Dan, Dan," Dandy Dan taunted as he moved his bishop to d7.

Kisha let out a frustrated roar as she moved her knight to c7, while Dandy Dan calmly moved his rook to a7.

"This ain't over yet! Check!" Kisha fumed as she moved her knight to d5.

"Keep swinging. I'll keep swatting," Dandy Dan taunted as he captured the knight at d5 with his c-pawn.

"I don't care," Kisha spat as she captured the pawn at d5 with her bishop.

"And now?" Dandy Dan asked as he moved his rook to b8.

"Shut up," Kisha snarled as she moved her king to h2.

"Now?" Dandy Dan smirked as he moved his rook to b1.

Sweat ran down Kisha's face as she captured the rook at b1 with her rook.

"Why so silent? I thought you liked talking," Dandy Dan taunted as he captured the rook at b1 with his a-pawn and promoted it to a queen.

"F- Fuck," Kisha groaned as she moved her pawn to e4.

Dandy Dan silently smirked and moved his queen to c1 as Kisha scratched her head in fury as she moved her pawn to g3.

"Looks like this is it. So, what you gonna do?" Dandy Dan snickered as he moved his rook to a1.

"Fuck you, that's what," Kisha growled as she moved her pawn to e5.

"In words only. Checkmate," Dandy Dan smirked as he moved his queen to g1, winning the game.

The full game:

White: Kisha Shinbun (2024) Black: Dandy Dan (2000)

1. d3 e5

2. c4 Nf6

3. Bg5 h6

4. Bxf6 Qxf6

5. Nf3 e4

6. dxe4 Qxb2

7. Nbd2 g6

8. Rb1 Qxa2

9. Qb3 Qxb3

10. Nxb3 a5

11. e3 d6

12. Bd3 a4

13. Nbd4 Bg7

14. O-O a3

15. h3 a2

16. Ra1 c5

17. Nb5 Bxa1

18. Rxa1 Ke7

19. e5 dxe5

20. Nxe5 Nc6

21. Nxc6+ bxc6

22. Be4 Bd7

23. Nc7 Ra7

24. Nd5+ cxd5

25. Bxd5 Rb8

26. Kh2 Rb1

27. Rxb1 axb1=Q

28. e4 Qc1

29. g3 Ra1

30. e5 Qg1#