The Cat God's Game (3)

“Do you think it was a good idea to take on a bet like that? You’re literally putting your life on the line.”

Maria walked alongside Kat, holding her parasol above the two of them to block out the sun. Kat rested her hands behind her head, walking alongside without any outward signs of worry.

“It’s the only way I’m gonna be able to transform back into a human. Of course I had to accept it,” Kat replied.

“You shouldn’t rush into such contracts without taking the time to think about it and discuss it with friends and family.”

“But that cat god could’ve bailed and left me hanging! I might’ve never had a chance to see him again!”

“While that’s true, did you ask whether you could have time to think about it? Perhaps pick a time for a later meeting after you thought it over?”

Kat turned her head away from Maria.

“Not only that,” Maria continued, “but you could’ve argued for a better deal, such as not signing your life away to being an apostle for a deity.”

“It’s not that big a deal. I mean, it’d be like working as a priest or whatever, right?”

Maria sighed. “You really don’t know what you signed up for, do you?”

Mimicking The Cat God’s voice, Kat said “You will journey with me around the world to spread my message and help find those worthy of my blessings.”

She then switched back to her usual voice. “Those were his exact words. He’s a cat god, so I’m sure there isn’t much messaging to be had. Heck, none of the cats in the area even knew about it until I brought it up.”

“That could be because he hasn’t had anyone to spread his message, which is what you’ll be doing from now on.”

Kat pouted. “Well, I guess. But we’ll be traveling around the world! That could be fun! Did you know he has teleportation powers? He zapped the two of us from the cornfields all the way back to my place in an instant!”

“Did the cat god say that you two would be teleporting around the world?” Maria asked.

Kat hesitated to answer. “I-I mean, how else do you think he’s gonna travel around the world? Take an airplane and sit in coach?”

“But that doesn’t necessarily mean the cat god will teleport you along with it when it decides to go somewhere else. It might vanish and leave you a note saying ‘Went to Madagascar. Meet me there!’ How would you get there if that were to happen?”

Kat didn’t give any answers, for she had none.

Once again, Maria sighed. “This is why you need to be careful when signing contracts. And never go with verbal only. Have everything written down prior, and read over it. If possible, have a lawyer look it over with you.”

“W-whatever!” Kat shouted. “It’s done and done! We’ve agreed and there’s nothing I can do about it now! And it doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve got all week to grab its tail!”

“That confident, huh?”

Kat pounded her chest. “If our little altercation is anything to go by, then I don’t think it’ll be so tough. Plus he promised no magic or anything, either. Just pure, raw physical capabilities. Nor is he going to hide from me, either!”

Maria pulled out her phone to check the time. “And you said the game started at sunrise?”

Kat nodded. “That’s right!”

“And it’s a quarter till one. Have you two run into each other yet?”

It dawned on Kat that she had yet to see The Cat God at all that day. She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Well…! Well…” she started, only to drift off. Finally, she managed to say “I haven’t really been searching for it either. So, in a way, it’s not that it’s hiding. It’s just I haven’t started searching yet.”

She let out a triumphant laugh.

Maria shook her head in disappointment. “Your life’s on the line and you’re treating this like it’s a school test.”

“Bah! Okay! Fine!” Kat yelled as Maria’s worry finally got to her. “Let’s have a big lunch at the diner and enjoy ourselves, and then I’ll go looking for the cat god! Okay?”

Kat marched forward, out from the shade of Maria’s parasol. She didn’t want Maria to see the panicked expression on her face as the reality of her situation really started to sink in.

I’m not in trouble, am I? She wondered.

Kat arrived at the diner first, where she swung the door open with full force. “Hey pops!” she yelled. “Hit me up with a—”

“Mm, mm, mm!” The Cat God said, biting into a double cheeseburger, loaded up with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, jalapenos, and sriracha ketchup. It also had a side of Cajun spiced french fries and a large cola, which it took a sip of to wash down the bite of burger it took. “This ‘Spice Up Your Life’ burger is just… Mm! Words alone can-not express the feelings I have for this. You, good sir, have created yourself a customer for life.”

“Why, thank ya!” Pops said. “And you’re my favorite god to eat at my little hole in the wall! Course, you’re the only one who’s eaten here. Bwah ha ha!” he roared with laughter at his own joke.

The Cat God joined in with the laughter. “The other gods TRULY are missing out. Yes they are, yes they are. Yes. They. Are!”

During the entire interaction, Kat stood in the doorway, pointing at The Cat God with her mouth agape. She let out a long, continuous silent scream, as her vocal cords seemed to snap and forget how to produce a sound.

“Oh! Hiya, Kat!” Pops said. “Just met one of your little friends!”

The Cat God spun around on its stool and waved. Its cheeks puffed out with a handful of french fries.

What in the hecky heck are you doing here?! was what Kat wanted to say, but only inaudible gasps of air escaped her throat.

Pops and The Cat God looked at each other and shrugged.

Carefully, Maria pushed Kat out of the way of the door so that she may enter.

“Ah, so you’re the cat god I’ve heard much about,” she said while closing her parasol.

The Cat God swallowed the fries he was in the middle of chewing, then took another sip of its cola. “The Cat God,” it corrected her. “Emphasis on the capitalizations.”

“Apologies. The Cat God,” she said, making her way to the bar. She sat down next to it, leaving the stunned Kat by the doorway.

“Your apologies, while welcome, are unnecessary. You simply had yet the chance to hear my name properly, Miss Maria.”

Maria widened her eyes. “Oh! You know my name?”

“I know the names of all the children of this region. I have been here for a very, very long time, you see.”

“Is that so,” she said. “By the way you’re dressed, I take it you originally came from Egypt? Are you perhaps some sort of Egyptian god?”

The Cat God picked up its head ornament. “You mean this thing? Haha!” it laughed while putting it back on. “I think you might be mistaken. I have existed since time as a construct was crafted. I have seen the birth of this planet, and witnessed the many creatures and civilizations RISE, only to then FALL, until their existence has been completely erased. Nary a memory of their time left to mourn.”

After taking another bite of its burger, it continued. “No. My attire was taken out of a backlot dumpster on the set of a film more than half a century ago. I thought it was such a waste, and have grown to enjoy the aesthetic, you see.”

“I see.”

“I see that you see,” it commented, resuming its lunch.

“Well, then. I hope this isn’t too much of a bother, but would you be willing to let me see—”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE EATING A BURGER?!” Kat finally yelled, having snapped out of her state of shock and rushing to the bar.

The Cat God winced in pain, then rubbed its ear. “Watch your volume, girl. I may be a god, but an eardrum is still an eardrum. You need to take care of them lest you wish to become deaf.” It pushed Kat onto a neighboring stool, then turned its attention to pops. “Serve her up one of these burgers.”

“Coming right up!” Pops said, turning his attention to the grill.

“Have you ever had the pleasure of sinking your fangs into one of these wonderful creations of human dining?” The Cat God asked Kat, holding the half-eaten burger.

“What are you doing here?!” Kat asked again.

“Lunch,” it replied without embellishment before taking another bite.

“Not that! I mean, why are you out here interacting with people!?”

“If you may recall as per our agreement, I was not to hide myself from you. Is that not correct?”

“Well… yeah,” Kat answered.

The Cat God opened its arms. “And here I am! Out! In! The Open!” It spun its stool so that it faced Maria. “As you were saying before the kitten interrupted? You were in the midst of asking a request from me?”

“Right,” Maria said. “I know it’s moot to bring it up now, but I was wondering if it’s possible to see the conditions of your and Kat’s agreement?”

“Why you certainly may!” It waved its paw, willing a multi-page contract printed on legal sized paper into existence. The type on the document was printed using a small typeface.

“I don’t remember signing any ‘physical contract’,” Kat said as she looked over The Cat God’s shoulder to see the document.

“Our handshake was your act of signing the contract,” The Cat God corrected.

Kat slumped onto the counter, resting her head in her hand.

Maria took the contract and held it close to her face. “This sure looks thorough.”

“Thorough, but simple to read,” The Cat God said as it willed a magnifying glass into existence for Maria.

She thanked it and began to read the contract, pointing at parts that piqued her interest. “So, in this section right here.”

The Cat God leaned forward, letting out a “Hmm?”

“You have written—”

Kat’s mind wandered as she half-listened to the conversation between them. The language they were using was much more advanced than she was used to, so her eyes began to glaze over. When Pops was finished preparing her meal, she dumped a glob of ketchup onto her plate and began popping the french fries into her mouth.

Her eyes began to focus on The Cat God’s tail, which sat still before her. She stared at it while continuing to pop more ketchup slathered fries into her mouth. It lay there motionless as The Cat God conversed with the details in her agreement. There it was, within arm’s reach. Just sitting there. Nobody paid any attention to it other than her.

Licking her fingers to clean them of stray ketchup and Cajun spices, she slowly inched her hand toward the tail. Closer and closer, making sure not to make any sudden movements and alert The Cat God.

When it turned to take a sip of its cola, Kat quickly withdrew her hand, looking away.

“And this part here,” Maria continued.

Once again, The Cat God turned around, leaving its tail before Kat as it carried on its conversation with Maria. Again, she carefully edged her hand to her target, which hung off the stool. Inch by inch it moved steadily closer. Finally, when it sat within centimeters of her grasp, she struck.

That Cat God’s tail swung to the side, dodging her attempt.

Careful, now, she thought to herself.

Again, she tried reaching for the tail, only for it to swing away from her paws. She abandoned her careful nature and began trying to grab it with both her hands, but it continuously moved away from her. Finally, she started attacking it with a frenzy, no longer trying to hide her meows as she kept failing to grab her target.

Finally, The Cat God whacked Kat on the top of her head. “You dare try to touch my spotless fur before you have gone and washed those grease-covered mittens of yours?!” it yelled at her. “Do you not know about cleanliness?!”

“Who cares!” she yelled as she dived at The Cat God.

The Cat God hopped out of its seat and landed on Kat’s head. “Nuh uh uh! Do not think you will be able to capture me with such tactless efforts!”

Kat ignored The Cat God and repeatedly leaped around the room trying to grab its tail. She knocked over chairs and scratched the already-worn booths even more so, strewing bits of cushion around the diner. Glass ketchup bottles shattered as they fell to the floor with the salt and pepper shakers and napkin dispensers. Decorations were ripped from the wall as Kat and The Cat God stormed around.

Maria and Pops duck-and-covered underneath the bar to escape the line of fire.

“Kat!” Pops yelled.

Kat finally stopped in her tracks as The Cat God leaped over to the front door.

The interior of the diner was in ruins. Furniture destroyed. Broken bits of ketchup-covered glass covered the floor, making it dangerous to walk. Light fixtures were ripped from the ceiling, exposing the wiring.

“Oh… Omigosh! Pops! I’m sorry!” Kat apologized.

The Cat God let out a “Tsk tsk tsk” as it shook its head. “You have got to be more aware of your surroundings, Kat.” It then turned its attention to Pops. “Thank you for such a delicious meal. Allow me to repay your kindness.”

With a snap of its fingers, the diner was restored. Actually, it was better than restored. All of its furniture appeared brand new. Better than the condition Pops had originally gotten them from another diner that closed down. The floors were polished and light fixtures renewed. Even the broken jukebox that hadn’t worked the past fifteen years started playing dated rock music.

Even the kitchen had been given a cleanup, despite not having been affected by their chase. The appliances were cleaned and in pristine condition while the walls now displayed their original paint color without years of grease splatters and other mishaps.

Pops walked out from behind the bar. “Oh my… My diner. It’s brand-spankin’ new!” He became giddy with joy as he went around, looking at all the improvements.

“I will be sure to come here again,” The Cat God said with a bow.

Pops stood up. “Y-yes! Please! Any time you wish! Your meals are on the house!”

“This old god thanks you for your generosity.” It then looked over at Kat. “Do not worry, young kitten. You will have plenty more opportunities to try again!” With that, it strolled out of the front door of the diner and started walking down the street.

“He-hey! Wait a sec!” Kat yelled, lunging forward to go after it.

“Kat!” Maria called out.

Kat turned to Maria, who was holding the contract and magnifying glass still.

“There’s some really important details about your deal that I think you ought to hear.”