Mistakes - Part 1

*Beeping sound

I… was sleeping? Last time I remember… I hanged myself… (Gets up on realizing that he’s still alive) why is my morning alarm going off? why am I still alive? I am still in my room… my neck seems fine… and my foot… this scene seems familiar… wait. What time it is… 7: 32…2018…

What the fuck… I am back… AGAIN?!

Why… I don’t understand this. I can’t even kill myself? Wait… Sachi is alive right now… does that really matter? I’m not smart enough to save her. even if I do something different this year, there will be more changes in second year… or wait! I went back to first year from third this time… maybe, what I do will make changes in second year and then I get to go through second too… I can’t be sure. I shouldn’t hope for much. That killed me once already.

Ok… I will do exactly what I did in first year last time. And then I might be able to see second year myself. And if I am fortunate enough, Sachi confesses… just like Eiji told. But do I really care about her confession? No… I still need to think of a way to save her… or prepare myself that she will die, and I can’t do anything about it…

Yeah, that’s the better option. Because I don’t see any way I can save her. After seeing the plane crashing and the trains colliding… I think that anything I do won’t change the fact that Sachi dies… it’s like I’m trying to change the past… what happens, is done. I should just get over it. And the normal way this time. I won’t kill myself. If I have been given a second chance, I will use it for the better

For now, I’ll go to school and see if anything is different.

(In school)

Just like last time, it’s 1 – A. And it’s 08: 26 right now, I came early today. If I remember correctly, I see Aoi going into the class around 08:31. Maybe I should wait outside

08: 30, and she’s going into the class. Seems like everything is the same as before. Then I should also just do whatever I did last year… not the paused good morning, that was weird. I’ll just go and sit quietly on my chair this time… but I do need to talk to them. I’ll just say good morning then, I know they didn’t mind.

Ok… so just as I get close to Aoi and Eiji

“Good Morning” (Takahashi)

“Good morning… you are?” (Aoi)

Takahashi: oh… she’s directly asking who I am

“I am Takahashi Tanjiro”

“I’m Aoi Sakamoto”

“You’re that kid that got the highest marks in the entry test, right?”

Takahashi: oh, it’s going exactly the way it did before

“Yeah”

(recess)

The whole conversation went almost exactly the same… and it felt so weird that I knew what they were going to say and what they were going to reply with.

So, I have to wait till December then. And this time I remember where she lives so I won’t waste time… and I have to make some changes. Like I can’t accept Aoi because if in second year, Sachi is my girlfriend. I can’t be in a relationship with someone else.

(Winter vacations)

26th December. I am sure I didn’t change anything this time. Everything went the same way it did before. I mostly watched anime this whole time because I have a lot of free time. I have already passed first year so I remember the syllabus and some questions that appear in the exams.

It’s 07: 12 in the morning right now. I told Aoi that we should leave early since we might get late at night. Also, that it might get cold later so better wear something warm.

07: 44, I’m standing on the train station with Aoi. And she did bring a jacket this time.

08: 00, we both got into the train. Now, we should reach there by 14: 00. If I remember correctly, we got there around 16: 00 last time. So, this is 2 hours earlier, and that we don’t have to go look for her apartment. We will be able to leave soon.

14: 11. We get off the train and get a taxi

14: 44, we are here… standing Infront of her door. But this time. I am more confident in what I have to say, and I won’t hug her either. Because I will get to meet her in second year. But I will have to go through that embarrassment again… well, it might be worth it. Who knows

*Takahashi Knocks

*Door opens

“Takahashi?” (Sachi)

“Sachi… how have you been?’

Sachi: he knows my name…?

“How did___”

“I’ll explain everything. Can I come in?”

“Oh… of course…”

This was weirder than before… almost felt like I am barging in her house… wait… I need to be careful here. Maybe most of what happen in the future is due to the expression she gets of me from here. I need to take the conversation the exact same way…

She’s coming…

“First tell me how you knew where I live?”

“You told me…”

“Me? I have never told anyone and I’m sure I have never talked with you in middle school”

“Takahashi! What are you thinking?” (Aoi)

Takahashi: Okay, their reaction is the same as before… though I don’t remember much I did before. but still, my main objective is to tell her about the date and everything.

“I have something that I have to tell you no matter what” (Takahashi)

“Huh…? What’s so important?”

Takahashi: fuck… I think I changed the wording… I don’t remember her asking what I came here to talk about this early. I think Aoi says something and then I explain everything. For now, I should go answer what she asked

“I know___”

“Wait, first tell me how you knew that I was in Kyoto”

Takahashi: she changed the question, yes! Now I think it is going the way it was supposed to

“You’ll go to Tokyo for second year, right?”

“Yeah…”

Sachi: How does he know that…

“I met you in second year. You were in the same school as me in Tokyo, that’s how I know where you live. You told me yourself”

“Why would I even tell you where I live, I don’t even know you”

“Yeah, you don’t know me yet. But in second year, you will”

“Why are you talking like you have come from the future or something? Are you joking?”

Takahashi: this is not going as I remember… she is getting pissed. I need to change the way I answer… otherwise I might make big changes in the future… like I did before

“No!... I’m not joking… look. In second year… we became close friends but at the end I lose you… you died in a plane crash. But for some reason I am back here. So, I thought that I could save you from that”

“How will I even believe that? I know that you watch anime. But I didn’t know that you’re that much into anime…”

Takahashi: Fuck… this is definitely not what happened before… I’m being persistent I think, last time I was more confused to whether to share the situation with her or not, so I paused a lot. And Aoi talked too… maybe I don’t need to do exactly what I did before. I should just tell her everything

“No…”

“Look, he lost a best friend. Anyone would try to save their best friend if they got the chance to.” (Aoi)

“You believe him too? Your girlfriend is dumb as you hahaha” (Sachi)

“Girlfriend?” (Takahashi and Aoi say at the same time)

“No, she’s just a friend” (Takahashi)

“Oh… I thought…” (Sachi)

“Nope... and you know that I won’t have a girlfriend. You forgot about how I was in middle school?”

“No, I remember but I thought since you have changed so much… maybe you have one now.”

“No… I still don’t want a relationship”

“I see”

“Back to what I was talking about”

“Your fantasy yeah”

“Not…”

“You say you lost me? What happened? Tell me”

Takahashi: Woah! The conversation drifted so much… but at least she’s still interested in what I have to say

“You leave for Kyoto at the end of next year. Your dad said that this was probably the last time he’ll move cities, so he takes you with him. And since you are his only daughter, he didn’t want you to live alone in Tokyo. That is the day you die. You get into a morning plane, on 2nd January, and it crashes due to engine failure.”

“Oh… so? What am I supposed to do?”

“Take the train, it is a lot safer than planes. So, there’s a chance that you might live. We can’t be sure since no one knows what’s going to happen in the future”

Takahashi: even though I know that this won’t help… but it’s better than nothing. I’ll see what happens in the future. Maybe I can… don’t hope idiot. Just wait for what happens

“And here you are telling me that I die”

“That’s because I have seen it happen before… I have seen you die once already”

“I want to ask you something”

“What?”

“Why did you travel all the way here to Kyoto, to tell me something that you could have told me if I do get admission in the same school as me”

Takahashi: Shit! … I didn’t think of this like that… yeah. I didn’t have to tell her anything. I could have told this all when she comes to my school in second year… Or wait, I’m not sure if I go through second year or not. Though this is most logical thing to happen… but I really don’t understand how this world works.

“I don’t know if I will be the same Takahashi as I am here right now. I think that I won’t have my memories. so, it was better that I tell you all this before I go to second year”

“Your friend, she won’t forget this right?”

Takahashi: I seriously didn’t think about any of this before I came here… I should have given more thought to it. What now? I won’t fight with her next year so she will probably be in Tokyo when Sachi comes…

“I understand where you are going with this… but I had to do it this way…”

“Huh…? Nothing makes sense to me. It just sounds like you’re telling a big stupid joke”

“No… it isn’t…”

“He just missed you a lot and wanted to meet you” (Aoi)

“If he missed me, he could have just waited 4 months. And why does he even care? He won’t even remember that he came here”

Takahashi: … this is going way out of hand…

“Yeah, but right now. I have spent a year without you and just wanted to meet you…”

“Whatever, I don’t believe you but for now. I’ll keep this in mind. Maybe in the future I will. Who knows?”

“I know, you will”

“Whatever, Mr. time traveler”

“We should be going now, it’s 15: 27 right now. We have to go back to Tokyo too.”

Everything went well, I guess. I just hope that nothing changes in second year… even if it does. Hopefully I will be able to experience it myself, instead of listening about it through a phone call… Now we just have to go to the train station and go back home.

(Months later)

Nothing happened at all. By nothing, I mean literally nothing… Aoi didn’t confess to me. At first, I didn’t understand why and thought maybe I have made a change that caused this. But later remembered that I mentioned Infront of her that I don’t like relationships. Maybe because of that she couldn’t confess… and if that is true… then she might have feelings for me. Well, whatever. I’ll just reject her whenever she asks. I want to see what happened at the cultural festival, so I shouldn’t be in a relationship at that time.

Tomorrow is the first day of second year. But unlike every time, this time I will go to sleep and should wake up normally… unless something happens and I either go back to the start of first year or wake up on the first day of third year. But whatever happens is onto the tomorrow me. For now, I should just go to sleep.