Aina Pare is a Shipsexual Part 2

On Thursday, 23rd April, one day after I had two conversations with Jitsu-senpai, I was dying to talk to Pushpako-senpai. Everything – and I mean everything – depended on what she would say to me. It was all so confusing. I’d gone over in my head every single moment I’d seen Pushpako-senpai and Puna-senpai together the previous week but I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it at all. It was as if my memory and my perception had been blocked.

And Jitsu-senpai had seemed so innocent and pure and cute at first but I was doubting that too. What were his true motives? What did he want? What if he hates Pushpako-senpai? What if he’s the villain in this story? Ahhh! I spent fourteen years of my life inventing all kinds of situations in my head but, when it comes down to it, I can’t even get to the bottom of a simple love triangle. I’m so ashamed. I don’t even deserve an impressive or grand death. I only deserve a humiliating death that everyone will laugh at.

‘I should just jump off a one-storey building and die!’ I screamed that out loud too. My lips really are loose. I can’t even contain private thoughts inside my head. What if the problem’s in my brain? What if my brain is so small that it can only hold a certain number of thoughts at a time and any more and it just overflows? Why am I worrying, though? I’m always the first one at practice. It’s not like anyone heard—

‘Hey, don’t do that! I did it and I was in the hospital for seven whole months! My Papa won’t even let me climb anywhere until I’m eighteen!’

‘Eep!’ I shouted in surprise. I looked behind me and there was a short girl who couldn’t have been taller than five feet and three inches just standing there. She had messy shoulder-length hair and was wearing round glasses, a loose-fitting sports uniform and a big smile. And she looked so pretty and beautiful and cute as a button. I just wanted to hug her and call her my little sister.

‘Whoa, you got scared? Cool! I’m a monster! Nom-nom-nom!’ Oh goodness! I was dying of a cuteness overload! She’s a monster! Gosh, she’s adorable!

‘Hey, are you lost, little girl? My name is Aina Pare. Can I help you in any way?’

‘I’m not a little girl! I’m a big boy.’ Waahhhh! Now I wanted to nom-nom her.

‘Sure you are. My bad.’

‘That’s right.’

‘So, what’s your name?’

‘Jajanshu Mamanpade. What’s yours? Oh wait, you told me right now but I wasn’t listening sorry so tell me again.’

‘Aina Pare is my name. What are you looking for, Jajanshi?’

‘Jajanshu. I’m a boy, remember?’

‘Of course you are!’ Little girls at that age are so dreamy and innocent. I wish I could go back to that age too where you could be a monster one day and a superhero the next and a boy the day after that. Or she really does want to be a boy. That’s cool too. It’s good to see our society progressing so much.

‘What are you looking for, Jajanshi— I mean, Jajanshu?’

‘I joined the school yesterday and I came today to roam around and see all the basketball and volleyball and football and everything and this big, mean sensei comes to me and he says what are you doing here these are the high-school practice grounds and I say I am in high school and he says show me your ID and I said I don’t have my ID. It’s at my house. Then he started shouting at me and he was saying he will take me to Madam Principal’s office and I said I just went yesterday she is so busy why do all the teachers here want to disturb her. It’s only because she is so kind she doesn’t say anything, you know? I bet she’s so tired of all the teachers just bringing all the kids to her all the time. And what for? The problem’s between you and me. I think we can sort this out. A man who doesn’t want to deal with his own problems is no man at all, my Papa says. And then I saw sensei was turning red and I think he was going to hit me so I ran and I’m here and I’m hiding.’

What? This is the bravest or stupidest thing I’ve ever heard any student do in our school. Did she really say it or imagine it?

‘Uh… What sport do you play, Jajanshu?’

‘I love playing tag and hide-and-seek and the napkin game where you run in circles. I don’t remember the name it’s been so long and I haven’t played that one. Ooh! That’s a good idea. I’ll tell the kids at the park next time.’ She must be really small then. Must not even be in middle school. Just looks a bit older than her age.

‘I don’t think those can be called sports. They’re more like children’s games.’

‘Really? I didn’t know. What sport do you play?’

‘As you might have guessed from where I’m standing, I play volleyball.’

‘What’s volleyball?’

‘You don’t know what volleyball is?’ Who doesn’t know what volleyball is? It’s not the most popular sport. Maybe it’s not even in the top five. But I bet it’s in the top ten. It has to be in the top ten. Is it normal to not know what volleyball is? Is it actually a really obscure sport that no one knows about? Have the past three years been a lie?

‘In volleyball, you throw a ball over a net and then the other team hits it back at you and it goes on like that.’

‘What?’

‘Well, I guess my explanation isn’t that good. How does one explain volleyball? I’ve been playing it for so long but no one’s ever asked me to describe it, to be honest. What is volleyball, indeed?’

‘Is that the net?’ She was pointing towards the net.

‘Yeah. That’s the net.’

‘Ah ha ha. I want to play volleyball too. Can I play with you?’

‘I’m glad you’re interested. But you can’t play with me. Like sensei said, this is the high school practice court. Only people fourteen and above can play in this court. But we have a junior team too. You can join that if you want. You want me to show you the way there?’

‘I told you I’m a big boy. But OK I am not fourteen yet. I’m only thirteen. I’ll turn fourteen on 17th May. Then can I join?’

‘Ha ha. That’s a nice joke. But we have to be serious now. Everyone else will be coming here in a few minutes and I have to start warming up and whatnot.’

‘I’m not joking! I’m Jajanshu Mamanpade from class IX-A. I don’t have my ID right now or I will have shown you. Why don’t you believe me, Aina? We’re in the same standard. You are not in my section but. What section are you in?’

‘I’m in VIII-B. I’m not… Please stop with the kidding. We need to get serious. There is no way someone so small as you is a IX-class student.’

‘Am too. And how are you so big and tall and old and you are still in VIII? Don’t judge a film by its poster, Papa says.’

‘You’re telling me you’re really in IX-A?’

‘Yes.’

‘IX-A… What a coincidence. Jitsu-senpai is in IX-A too.’

‘Wow. You know Jitsu? Hagesh and Umito and everyone were talking about him all day yesterday.’

He knows Umito-senpai? That Umito-senpai? The guy everyone started calling the Dynamite Pirate when he blew up a firecracker in the bathroom? The guy who cleaned up when he fell in love with a princess, only to be dragged down by his past. And when the princess’s parents found out, they sent her away to a boarding school somewhere far away?

‘I don’t know Jitsu-senpai too well. I only met him yesterday for the first time.’

‘Oh right! I thought I had seen you before. So you’re the junior he’s going all lovey-dovey for? You should call me senpai too, by the way. Papa says it’s important to respect your elders.’ Huh? This small girl is my senpai? She must be joking. But how does she know so many seniors? And… What did she just say about me and Jitsu-senpai?

‘He— he’s not getting lovey-dovey with me! It’s not like that at all.’ Was I blushing? How do you know if you are blushing?

‘He he. Of course you are. They were talking about it for soooooo long. It was like you both are going to get married tomorrow. La la la.’

‘M— married?! Don’t be stupid, alright? We’re not even of legal age.’

‘So you will marry him when you become eighteen?’

‘Shut up! Little girls shouldn’t talk about this kind of stuff.’

‘Who’s a little girl?’

‘You’re a little… tiny… small… miniscule… girly girl!’

‘I’m a boy top to bottom.’

‘Yeah, you’re not fooling anyone with that long hair. Boys with long hair get expelled in our school. They get sent to Madam Principal’s office.’

‘Again with Madam Principal’s office. Why does everyone like Madam Principal’s office so much? Is it because it has an air conditioner? I already went yesterday so I won’t go today.’

‘Oh. Yeah, you did mention that.’

‘And I’m also your senior. Call me senpai. S-E… S-E-N… Well, you know the spelling!’

‘You’re telling me you’re a IX-class student and you don’t even know how to spell? What a joke. At least get a little smart before lying to me, little girl.’

Before this idiotic conversation could go on for too long, the gym door was slammed open by the fat frame of Bamunda-sensei. He was huffing and puffing and his eyes were red with rage. ‘Where’s that insolent little girl?!’

‘Ha! I told you you’re a little—’ When I turned my eyes to the girl, she was lying on the ground and she looked like she’d been in an awful accident. Her right leg was swollen like a potato, her right arm looked like a hippo had stomped on it and face was covered in red and blue bruises. What the hell had happened in the one second that I looked away? Had a ghost appeared out of nowhere, attacked her and left immediately? Oh no, did I try to murder the girl in a fit of unconscious fury? What was going to become of me? Am I actually that serial killer who’s been running around at night and I just don’t know it? I’m going to go to jail for this, aren’t I? I’m sorry, mother. I didn’t mean to become like this. I didn’t mean to bring shame to our family.

‘What’s going on here?! What happened to her? And why are you crying, Aina-kun?’ Bamunda-sensei’s anger had turned to astonishment, which, in turn, had turned to complete befuddlement.

‘I’ll have to go to jail, sensei! Please save me! I didn’t do anything bad consciously.’

Bamunda-sensei was so confused he couldn’t even begin to say anything.

‘Sensei, I fell down. Nobody hit me,’ the little girl muttered. Thankfully, sensei shook me into action and we rushed her to the infirmary.

‘What’s your name?’ he asked the girl when she’d be laid down on a bed in the infirmary.

‘Jajanshu Mamanpade.’

‘What class are you in?’

‘IX-A,’ she said.

‘This is no time to crack jokes.’

‘Go to IX-A and ask Hagesh or Umito or anyone. I really am from IX-A!’

‘Oh, so your big brother is in IX-A. I’ll go get him. Aina, you’re the student health officer in the volleyball team, right?’

‘Yes, sensei,’ I said.

‘Apply first aid until the nurse comes in. She’ll be here in ten minutes, most probably.’

‘On it, sensei.’

Sensei rushed out and I started searching for bandages, ice packs and a splint. But as soon as I started to hold her leg, it started healing. And fast. Her arm and her face were getting better too. Within two seconds, she looked like new. I was stunned. I couldn’t move an inch. Did the ghost that attacked her regret his actions and cast a healing spell on her? Or was this my doing? Am I an angel who can heal people instantly? Had I always possessed the Miracle Touch and simply not known it?

The girl yawned and got up. ‘Ah, I’m hungry— Oh, sorry. Excuse me.’ You see, in my shock, I had neglected to move my hands from over her leg and, when she got up, I accidentally touched her— I mean, his crotch. Yikes! No! Ahhhhh! I touched a boy’s… I touched a boy’s… Uuuueeeeee! Oh no! What will he think of me now? And I’ve been talking to him so loosely. What if he thinks I’m interested in him? What if he thinks I’m interested in him… that way?

‘Got anything to eat?’

‘Huh?’

‘I think I’ll faint if I don’t eat something in the next minute.’

‘Ah… Ah…’ I started aimlessly looking around in the infirmary. I opened all the drawers, desperately searching for any kind of a food item. Anything to distract him from what just happened. I found a packet of glucose powder. ‘Will this do?’ I asked him.

‘Yeah. That’s perfect.’ Before I could look around for some water, he tore the packet open and swallowed it whole dry. It was a big one too. ‘Ah! That feels good.’

‘How did you heal so quickly?’ I asked.

‘That’s my guṇa. I can fake a bunch of illnesses.’

‘Oh. That makes sense. Stupid me. I thought I had turned into an angel or something.’

‘Hahahaha! That’s so funny. You, an angel?’

‘Is it that unbelievable?’

‘Come on. I’m teasing you. I know you’re a really good person. You have a pure heart.’

A good person… A pure heart… I was definitely blushing now. ‘What makes you say that?’ I asked.

‘You were taking care of me so good and treating me and you were going to help me before that too. I’m sorry I scared you but sensei was going to kill me he was looking like a real monster.’

‘That’s fine, I guess.’ Why is he being so nice all of a sudden? Maybe he’s good at heart too. And it looks like he didn’t notice that I accidentally grabbed his dick.

‘And you believe I’m a boy now, right?’ he asked, grinning ear to ear.

If I was blushing before, I had turned into a tomato now.

‘Hahaha! Don’t worry about it. I won’t tell anyone. I’ll keep it secret.’

‘I’m sorry. It was an accident. But please don’t tell anyone. What do you want in return for keeping it a secret?’ What if he wants money? Worse, what if he’s got lewd thoughts and he makes me do things that will haunt me for the rest of my life? I don’t want to be exploited by a man who looks like a little-sister character. At least he could have been an ugly bald man.

And then an ugly bald man walked into the infirmary. He was just as short as Jajanshu.

‘Yo. You alright, Jajanshu? Heard you got injured,’ said the bald man.

‘I’m totally fine. I was just escaping that scary sensei.’

‘You got in trouble again? Man, you’re on a streak.’ Then he finally noticed me. ‘Oh! I didn’t see you behind the curtain. I’m Hagesh Malumaru, Jajanshu’s classmate. Nice to meet you. I apologise for Jajanshu if he troubled you in any way. He just joined our school yesterday so he’s not really used to how things work around here. I’m teaching him, little by little.’

‘Classmates? What class is that, again?’

‘IX-A.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m confused. Have all the IX-class students been hit by a shrink ray or something? Did this happen at night? Because I didn’t notice anything strange until yesterday evening.’

‘That’s very rude, you know. Commenting about someone’s height when you’ve just met them. What standard are you in?’

‘VIII standard.’

‘Call me senpai, first of all. And learn some manners. And introduce yourself to your seniors when you meet them.’

‘But just look at him, senpai,’ I pointed towards Jajanshu. ‘He looks like a VI-class girl and you’re even shorter—’

‘Shorter?! I’m an entire inch taller than him.’

‘Really?’

‘Jajanshu, come here. Stand next to me.’ Jajanshu got up and stood next to him. And he was right. Jajanshu was shorter than him.

‘Oh. That’s my mistake, senpai. Sorry for that. Maybe because he’s so thin and you’re so bulky and well-built that my perception was distorted.’

‘You… like my body?’

‘Yes. As a sportsperson, I can understand how hard you must have worked to get into that shape.’

‘Gosh. Well, if you say it like that…’ He was blushing. Cow’s teats! What exactly is wrong with me? I bet even the best psychologist in the world will have lots of trouble finding out. I’d met three male seniors in two days. One I had called myself a whore in front of, one I had sexually harassed and one I had accidentally flirted with. Good show, Aina. Good show.

‘Hagesh, you can go back to the class.’ Jajanshu had stepped in and he was gently directing Hagesh-senpai to the exit. ‘I’m fine. I just have to wait for the nurse-ji to come and she has to fill a form because she’s the… What did sensei call you?’

‘The student health officer,’ I replied.

‘Yes. That.’

‘I could just sit here. I won’t disturb anybody, you know,’ said Hagesh-senpai.

‘Nurse-ji won’t like it if so many people are around me and I’m not even hurt. She will send us to Madam Principal’s office like all the other teachers do too because they don’t know how to deal with their own problems.’ Jajanshu had started pushing Hagesh-senpai out. And, surprisingly, he was succeeding.

‘Alright, alright! I’m going. Just don’t do anything funny… without me.’ A shiver ran down my spine.

‘There. That’s done.’ Jajanshu looked relieved.

‘There’s no form I have to fill,’ I said.

‘I know. I thought you looked uncomfortable. Don’t be scared. Hagesh is a really good guy and I’m sure you’ll be good friends but we can’t talk about what we were talking about in front of him.’

Oh. About the secret. What was he expecting of me? What would I have to do to keep his mouth shut? Would I have to shut my mouth over something? Eww. No. No. No. ‘Just… don’t do anything erotic to me,’ I said.

‘What does erotic mean? And why will I do it to you?’

‘It’s… What do you want from me so that you’ll keep the secret a secret?’

‘What secret?’

‘That I… brushed my hand against your… sensitive area. Accidentally, of course!’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You know… I touched your reproductive organs. Accidentally.’

‘Huh?’

‘What do you want me to say?! I fondled your cock and balls and I totally meant to do it! They’re quite big, by the way.’ Shut up, you potty-mouthed pervert! You’ll dig your own grave someday!

‘If someone asked me if that happened I will say it did not happen because it did not happen. And there is no secret because it didn’t happen.’

‘It just— Oh. Oh! It didn’t… happen.’

‘Yeah. You see what I mean? There is no secret because it didn’t happen.’ And then he winked. He’s more clever than I thought he’d be.

‘But you’ll have to keep my secret OK?’

‘What secret?’

‘Don’t use my own line on me.’

‘No. I really don’t know. What secret?’

‘Exactly. Nice.’

‘I really have no idea.’

‘My guṇa stupid.’

‘Your guṇa is a secret?’

‘Yeah. I’m not supposed to tell anyone in the school that I can fake illnesses like that. I can only say it to close friends who I know won’t tell anybody else.’

‘Close friends?’

‘Yes you’re my close friend now. You are a kind person. I can tell. I think I can trust you.’ For the first time in history, a boy had friendzoned himself. I didn’t know what to say to that.

‘Thank you, Jajanshu. I don’t have a lot of friends. It means a lot to me.’

‘Jajanshu-senpai.’

‘You’re younger than me. And there are no honorifics between friends.’

‘Wow cool! But can I call you Ai-chan?’

‘Sure!’ I giggled. ‘I’ll call you Jajan-chan then. How about we go outside? Nurse-ji will scold us if she sees us both sitting all fine and dandy here.’

‘Yeah. I really liked a garden I saw yesterday. Can we go there?’

‘OK.’