Chapter 13:

Organized Chaos

Little green apocalypse

It’s the end.

Not that I wasn’t expecting it but…

It’s when I started to appreciate my life that it will end.

I had been prepared for a long time, and now…

I don’t want it to end anymore.

My last reflection in life.

I wished… I wished I could…

… I wished I could watch over you, my children.

I have seen you grow, blossom, fall, get up, dream, have fun, love, cry…

I would have liked to be a much more present mother.

What would have happened if you hadn’t opened my eyes?

What would I have become?

I guess I would have wasted my remaining life time.

In the face of death, the only thing you can do is make the most of it. Do not have to regret…

Well, if I regret, maybe I could become a wandering soul, who knows.

That’s how some folklore describe It, right?

I wanted to talk to you one last time.

Seeing your sleeping heads calms me down.

But I know that by the next morning it will be over.

Thanks for everything you have given me, you and the children.

I’m happy like that. Nothing could have satisfied me more.

I hope I can look after you… Or that someone does it for me.

Take care of yourself, I love you… And don’t die too soon, right?

I don’t want to see you again for a long time… Haha.

… Farewell.

Such sadness

What a powerful emotion… A simple dream, that?

Am I picking up on other people’s thoughts?

So, was it that of a person who just died?

What are you doing here…?


“Why are you crying?”

“… Sorry.”

“It’s definitely my fault that you have this kind of dream.”

“This voice…”

“Could you hear it?”


“It was my mother’s.”

“Your mother…”

“Sorry, I’ll be back, just given me some minutes...”

I managed to fall asleep in the morning.

… And he didn’t wake me up.

Here we are now… Approaching the city limits.

What a relief to get out of here. This place was starting to worry me seriously.

Why do I start hearing Hiko’s mother’s voice?

She’s no longer alive… Can I talk to dead peoples?

I should have heard Lean’s voice then, right?

Unless my power hasn’t awakened?

No… I’m not an angel or some grim reaper.

It’s illogical that I’m able to argue with departed souls.

And if I could… This city full of corpses would have turned my head already.

So that’s not it.

Since when do I hear these voices?

… It begun after I slept in Hiko’s bed, right?

Since then, I started to hear a lot of things.

Basically, I thought it was me who dreamed normally.

The situation is starting to worry me a lot.

… Hiko can’t hear my thoughts from here, right?

I’m starting to get really scared.

Everything that happens to my body, I don’t really understand them.

I don’t want to think about it, but… It gnaws at me.

What’s wrong with me?

Too many changes. Far too many unknowns…

I hope to find some papers that can help me in mom’s office.

“Sorry about that, we can go back.”

“Very well.”

“Aren’t you staying in the cart?”

“Who did you take me for? I can move forward on my own.”

“And let me pull it.”

“As you wish.”

It’s heavy.

I couldn’t stand ten minutes like…

… Yes, I can!


“Everything is fine, it will do it.”

“If you say so.”

“How’s your heart?”

“… My heart is fine, it’s next to it that I’m worried about.”

“Haha. Yes, sorry.”

“But I’m not sure what to call it, so I prefer to speak about your heart.”


“I can’t really answer about that but…”

“I know it lives.”

“So, you can say: How’s ‘Life’?”


“You could have found a better name, right?”

“Don’t you like my taste when it comes to names?”

“They are weird.”

“You just have to find a better one then!”

“… You’re Lyre, aren’t you?”


I think.

“Why this question?”

“You know the lyre is a musical instrument, right?”


“Yes! Of course, I know.”

“… Impressive this instant boost of confidence.”

“The lyre is a stringed instrument, dating from ancient times.”

“This is the one most often depicted with the wandering bards.”

“Why are you telling me this? I told you I knew.”


“What would you say about that?”


What’s this?

“Yes! I totally see the connection with my name.”


“Why are you laughing?!”

“The harp is an instrument dating from the same time as the lyre, but it’s a bigger and more stable instrument.”


“I feel like you tried to convey a message me behind those words.”

“I swear, you imagine things.”


“… Ok for your idea.”

“So, how’s Harp?”



“I already answered you, didn’t i?”


“It’s always funny to see you thinking so much about something obvious.”


“I will pour salt on your eyelids while you sleep.”

“… No, don’t do that, please. I apologize.”

“Although I don’t quite understand the meaning of this, but I don’t really want to understand it.”

“Besides, the salt is quite annoying to remove, it must be like sea water.”

The sea…

“… You’ve never left your house even for that, right?”

“Or rather, no further than your garden.”

“Yes. I don’t know the sea.”

“I saw it in my picture books when I was younger.”

“What does… It does? How do we feel?”

People love the sea, but I don’t know why.

They might like to see the huge extend of water…

“Let’s say it’s more of a place where you go with family or friends.”

“It has no special meaning, just the desire to have a good time with your loved ones.”

“… I see.”

So, we have to go to the sea with those close to us.


This load…

“Let me help you.”

“You still underestimate me.”

“And you ruin my training. We’re even, aren’t we?”

“… Always the right words, eh.”

“If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be with you right now.”

“I pity the one would have been in my place. Eh eh.”

“… Why? Am I using words that are too complicated?”

“No. On the opposite, you do everything to adapt.”

“But your character is unbearable.”

“It amazes me than you mother manages to bears you for so long.”

“… That’s mean.”

“May be. Do you want me to apologize or do you accept it?”

“… I can bear it. How should I change this?”

“Start by looking in front of you.”

“… And now, look at the sky.”

“Do you see the clouds moving?”

“Imagine that each of them represents the pain of a soul.”

“… That’s a lot.”

“What would you have said to yourself, seeing that?”

“… There are too many of them. It’s not normal.”

“What’s not normal Is you.”

“Dying is natural, killing it’s not.”

“No matter what you kill… We have lived in cocoons, far removed from these concerns.”

“But that wasn’t necessarily the case centuries ago.”

“Lyre. We kill to survive, does that make us monsters?”

“If we’re monsters, why do you want to save mankind?”

“Have you ever asked yourself this question?”

… And if that were us, the monsters.

… We kill to survive.

“We came to common ground between humans, and we build around it. We called it society. Rules were based there and people started to follow them to live in peace, in community.”

“Obviously, this balance can only be respected if those who participate in it are in agreement with these rules.”

“We fought to conquer certain territories.”

“Once acquired, we fought against others of our kind to decide who owned each territory.”

“Finally, we fought to take the territory of others.”

“… Do you see where I’m going, Lyre?”

I don’t have to kill…

“You just have to immobilize the opponent, right? And after?”

“Are you going to release him? Or transport him to a cage until he goes mad?”

“Losing is being aware that you are going to leave something behind.”

“The next time you lose…”

“Everything will fly away, and it will be like you never existed.”

“No Lyre, no Harp, no Hiko.”

“… Stop it, I get it.”

“You will find yourself alone facing yourself, facing the choices you have made so far.”


“I’m sure you were very cute when you were younger. Do you have pictures at home?”




“I don’t follow you.”

“Don’t you know what a photo is? How to say that…”

“Yes, I know what it is…”

“You annoy me.”

“We’re talking about an extremely important subject and you change your focus from one moment to the next. Why?”

“I’m done discussing this. Why would you want me to talk about it anymore? Do you like me to scold you? And you didn’t want to talk about it anymore, right?”

“… You’re getting on my nerves! I don’t understand your way of doing things.”

“Hiko here, Hiko there. I only think about you from morning to night. And I don’t understand you way of arguing. This feeling frustrates me, I have a lump in my stomach. Why does it shock you so little? What is hiding behind your look? I don’t feel like I understand you. You move forward, you do things while I feel like I’m going backwards. I’m the burden that you drag, and you continue, remonstrating to me. Why do I feel bad? Am I bad? I’ve done things wrong all my life, right? You read my thoughts, you invade them and it starts to bother me. I understand myself less and less. Since I’ve been with you, everything changes. My way of speaking changed, so does my body and you change too. This is my fault, is it? I could have been much stronger. I never sought to be. It have repercussions now, right? But what would I have used the force for? Is it my fault if all of this happened? If I hadn’t be born, would your family still be alive? Would I have saved your brother if I had really practiced? Why are you always smiling at me? Do you have pity on me? You don’t love me, do you? I try, every day, but I can’t. I cannot conform to your ideals. I’m not that. All I wanted was to live in peace, discover the world and make my dreams come true… Why can’t I read your mind? Would I have understood you better with that? I’m stupid, right? Even with that, I couldn’t have done it, right? Explain to me… Tell me… I’m lost… I’m afraid… I’m not normal… This world scares me. Everything scares me, I don’t want too anymore…. You have the answer to everything… You must know.



“You should…”


I can’t.

I can’t look at your face anymore.

I just want to curl up on myself.

Why did I do this?

I can’t understand Hiko.

I’m weird.

How do I become normal?

I haven’t read a single book about it.

There is a way, right?

If I kill, I’ll be normal, right?

I just have to copy Hiko, right?

I had to copy mom, right?

I’m a failure, right?

Hiko doesn’t love me?

I’m a monster. He’s scared, right?

I’m shake.

Why am I here, again?

Nothing good will happen if we both stay together.

“I have to… I have to go. I will be back.”

“Lyre. Look at me.”

No, I don’t want.

I must forget your face.

I must forget your voice.

I must forget the reason that brought me here.

… Why are you touching me?

Your hands are warm.

… Why are you crying again?


“I should have assumed from the start.”

“I can’t fix your problems.”

“But… Accept that I share the burden.”

“Lyre. I want to live my life by your side.”

Run away.

I have to run away…

“Don’t run away!”

“Accept reality and learn to understand your body.”

“Running away is not optional here.”

“You only have two choices available.”

“Either you accept my love, or you reject it. If you reject it, I will disappear, and you will never hear from me again.”

“But if you accept… Don’t do anything.”

… Close.

Why are you bringing you head up close to mine?

An answer?

What do I want?

I’m scared… But…

I don’t shake anymore.

My mind is clear.

… So, I decided what I wanted. Right?

Your touch soothes me.

It’s fun living with you. Or rather, it’s complicated.

Won’t I enjoy complex things, actually?

This time…

I loved to hold you in my arms.


I want to hug you again.

I love hearing your voice.

Your good humor dispels my negatives thoughts.

… You’re my sunshine.

I feel it.

Your vision makes me happy.

Your vision makes me happy?

I love this.

I love to see you smile.

I love to hear you talk about myself.

I love when you carry me.

I love it when you look at me.

I love it when you tease me.

I love…

I love you.

Was that my answer, Hiko?

I’m with you, don’t worry.

I’ll explain this stuff to you.

We can do it, the two of us together.

The three of us.

Yes. The three of us.

… I can hear you.

Does that allay your fears?

… More.

… Longer.

I want to learn to understand you.

Am I capable of it?

Of course, you can.

You can do anything, right?

Your mother told you, didn’t she?

… Even that, you heard it.


When everything will be over…

How about going to the sea… With us?

Ouch, why are you biting my lip?

You took too long to answer.

Why are you biting me?!

Because I love you.

We bite the people we love.

What do you think of love?

… It’s violent.

You bit me first through, right?

So, you figured out what it was.

We will go to sleep by the sea,
all together.

Is that a promise, then?

It’s a promise.

I promised you.

… Why does it all seem so fleeting?

I have the impression that I no longer care…

My worries are gone.

… It’s great.


We will live happily from today.

Do you promise me that too?

As long as you don’t get depressed again,

It’s okay.
I have no more reason to be depressed.

I have someone for me.

… You’re the first person to kiss me like that
by the way.

Will you do it again?

… If you don’t bite me.

I can’t promise you that.

Biting is loving, isn’t it?

Don’t bite me too much then.

I’ve got enough love to bite you all my life.

I understand it now.

I wish it never ends but…

… We have to go.

I’ll go inside the cart, pull me.

Your wished are orders, princess.

… I was joking.

How’s your arm?

Are you still in pain?

No… It’s been much better since then…

… Lyre.

What have you been doing again?



“Your arm is healed!”


“… And I can’t hear you anymore.”

“I guess it was only temporary.”

“… This is the power of love.”

“He allowed me to understand you.”

“Well, Let’s go! Now!”

“Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?”

“I have to introduce you to mom!”

“It’s… Important!”

“Hurry up, straggler of Hiko.”

“… Yes, yes. Don’t pull my arm.”

Thank you.

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