Caught in her own mind

I stare at Mrs. Tomiko, not really looking at her as if I'm looking through her, being transparent. My whole body is burning and I have the impression that something horrible is going to happen. Inside me blossoms a force that I feel I can't control, the same force that I felt on my first test, the same force that I felt when I hit Imada unintentionally.

I move my gaze hard to the cups of tea on the coffee table. Hmmm, coffee is forbidden... why is it called a coffee table then? Is only Mrs. Tomiko's table called like that? My eyebrows tighten at such thoughts, growing strong and causing pain in my forehead. Cups of tea shatter into hundreds of shards, creating an infernal noise as if someone were screaming from Hell. The tea bursts like a geyser, suddenly bursting and spreading everywhere. My eyes quickly run to Mrs. Tomiko who looks very relaxed, not scared at all.

My eyes fill with tears, making me see nothing around clearly and soon I start to cry. I'm waking up. I feel; I exist. I breathe and my heart beats normally. My blood is flowing through my veins, and my limbs can move, breaking from the numbness that has gripped them.

"I'm sorry," I say amid sobs and tears. I start to hiccup, my mucus flowing with tears. "Mrs. Tomiko, I'm going crazy!"

The guitar teacher gets up from the couch and disappears into the kitchen, bringing more of the napkins she hands me. I take them, my hands shaking uncontrollably. Mrs. Tomiko goes invisible again, and I blow my nose and try to calm down. I feel like I'm having a real crisis as if I'm really going crazy. Mrs. Tomiko returns with a mop, a broom, and a scythe, beginning to gather the filth I made without realizing it, and especially without my will. In fact, it was quite deliberate. Something in me wanted things to happen that way.

"Take it easy and let's talk calmly after I gather," Mrs. Tomiko tells me, using her soft tone as if she were a mother caring for her children.

At least that's what I owe her, a calm and serious discussion. I will try to refrain. I get up to help her, but Mrs. Tomiko motions for me to sit down. She doesn't look upset, but I see her thinking intensely about something. She probably chooses the words she wants to address to me. Mrs. Tomiko finishes collecting the shards and manages to wash the floor with difficulty, always finding the smaller pieces soaked in sticky tea. She takes the mop and broom back into a kitchen closet and sighs back and sits back next to me.

"What exactly will happen to Kaba? No. I have another better question. Assuming Kaba and I are wizards, does that mean both mom and dad are... like this?" I ask, trying to calm down.

"Yes, you and Kaba are like witches and wizards, but your parents are not."

"Okay," I say, trying to take everything for granted, without thinking about how crazy it sounds. "Are you a witch or wizard?"

"I'm a warlock, which means I'm a witch with a little more experience, so to speak. You and Kaba are a witch and a wizard, respectively."

"Okay, how come mom and dad are not, warlocks or wizards, or what else did you say?"

"It's a little more complicated here. And I think we should talk next time when we see each other again, which I told you will be much earlier than you expect."

'Mrs. Tomiko, I think I hear my brother's voice..." I say, trying to stop other tears from turning into a cry I can't control.

The thought runs through my little brother. Mrs. Tomiko takes me in her arms and strokes my back, trying to calm me down. Where's Nagamine when I need him? Now he had to come and tell me what to do.

"I know you are tense and stressed, but the time we have left at this meeting must be used to figure out what we are doing with your friend's statement. Can you tell me more about blackmail?"

"Imada suspects something, I think," I say, pulling my nose. "She's more afraid of me. I found a note in her locker at school from an older student who is not her friend. Hokama, on the other hand, has been scared all the time since I read her thoughts and is always staring blankly. Then she talked to me about wizards and said she was going to rat me out. A new colleague who was also called to testify explained to me that Hokama would tell everyone what she thought of me."

"So, what have you been thinking about so far?"

"That everyone will think she's crazy, or... considering everything you've said so far, they'll probably kill me tomorrow," I say, laughing hysterically.

"No one will kill you, Iwamoto. Because tomorrow is your birthday, you won't go to school. You will have to choose your soulmate. And in the evening you will take the pill. Until then, I'll think of something. But I'm going to need your help. Wait a minute."

Mrs. Tomiko disappears again, hearing from the living room slamming the drawers in the kitchen, probably looking for something. She returns with another metal box that she hands me.

"It's a special tea you'll have to make without your parents seeing it, obviously. The good part is that you can drink it cold."

"What is it for?''

"It will give you more energy, like a kind of coffee."

I take a fleeting, instinctive look at the clock on the wall, realizing I have to go. I get up from the couch, take the two boxes and realize I have nowhere to put them.

"Can you give me a backpack?"

Mrs. Tomiko nods and runs to her bedroom, where she brings me a simple black backpack. I put the boxes inside, the one with the tea and the one with the pill, and go down the hall. I put on my shoes and take her in my arms again, feeling my head spin after all the talk we've had.

"Mrs. Tomiko... what if I don't like the soulmate? I will have to stay with him all my life..."

"Or you can kill him the way I killed my husband," she tells me, winking at me.

I look at her in shock, then she laughs.

"I'm kidding, Iwamoto! Don't be so tense. Everything will be fine. I take care of everything, including Kaba."

I nod in approval, then open the door and walk out without looking back. My mind runs to my brother's voice, to the fact that, according to Mrs. Tomiko, I am a witch, which means that my life, that of my brother and my parents, is in danger. I can only imagine how my little brother is tormented in that room, unable to feel the presence of other people around him. Being completely alone and scared, it was as if he had done something wrong that he was brought into this world without his own consent. Both he and Nagamine and I were forced to come into this world, to live by the rules imposed by Golden Power in such a perfect society, being so proud that they were able to conceive it that way. But this society is not perfect. Everything is programmed and fake. You don't feel alive. Nagamine who is dead is more alive than anyone on the Earth.

Without realizing it, I get off the bike, being already on it and already heading home. My feet pedal like crazy, having far too much speed. I don't care about the police or anything else. I just want to get home and... do nothing. Just to be in my room, staring at the ceiling painted in a perfect white like this world.

In a short time, I lose control of the bike, as if moving alone. The handlebars go crazy, moving left and right like the front wheel. In just a few seconds, I lose my balance and notice how my bike is about to enter a tree.

Boom!

That's all I hear. I feel myself falling off the bike, being propelled directly into the tree. My head hits it hard and then everything turns black before I can even figure out exactly what is going on.

But soon I somehow manage to open my eyes and wake up again in Hell as if I were dreaming. However, this time I feel a radical change, namely that I have full control over my body. I don't feel that my body would take me to places I don't want to go, but that I decide where to go and with my own will I move where I want.

I see more people sitting in circles. There can be a trace of pain in their whispered voices, but no one screams, running like a madman full of flames. I approached them with quick steps, wanting to ask them so many questions. One of them gives me a frown look, then turns to the others, puts his hand to his mouth, and whispers something unintelligible to the others. Everyone in the circle looks at me and laughs out loud.

I approached them, frowning. I notice their clothes looking burnt, but their skin seems devoid of any evidence of fire as if they had just thrown their clothes into the flames, then put them on again. The person who seemed to be gossiping with the rest of the group motioned me to stop. I comply. He raises his hand and points to the right as if thinking of something. I look in there, then to the left.

I can see nothing but red earth expanding endlessly. I take it to the right and shake my head in gratitude. The man's expression becomes serious, then he returns to his group, continuing the conversation he had with them.

I keep walking, carefully studying the dinosaur birds that fly above me, listening to their strange screams coming out of their beak far too large in relation to their bodies. I look at the ground again, realizing that I am approaching something big that is shining. I start running, not feeling tired.

The object gets bigger and bigger as I get closer to it and I can see that on either side of it are two other massive objects. The closer I get, the more I realize that object is actually rising into the sky, surrounded by blood-red clouds. I see a gate and two creatures that look like humans, but look much taller.

I keep running, much harder. Indeed, on either side of the much too high gate are two giant men. Behind the gate, there are several steps leading to something very bright. That light goes beyond desire and makes everything seem to spring from the blood. I begin to slow down the pace at which I run, regarding the greatness of the two people or creatures who look at me with a hard and rigid expression.

As I approach, I notice the far too bright metal of which the gate is made. Will I get to Heaven, that beautiful place my grandmother told me about? I stop in front of people and the two cross two big sticks that look like baseball bats.

"Name, please!" says one of them in a very thick voice.

At the sound of his voice, the ground around me shakes, moving for a moment. But it's not an earthquake. I'm sure it's just because of his voice. It immediately resounded like an echo, as if heard throughout the land.

There is a lot of agitation behind me and when I turn my head I see a lot of people running desperately towards us and screaming for the gates to be kept open.

"Faster," says the other giant man.

"Iwamoto Akemi," I say, turning to them again.

My body is alerted when the two giants exchange glances. The two nod simultaneously and the gates open with a loud sound that creates a new earthquake much louder than the one caused by the giant's voice.

"Quick!" urges one of them.

I don't think twice and I throw myself in front, starting to climb the stairs in a hurry. The gates close behind me and I glance over my shoulder, stopping to climb. The world is crowded in gates, as if without fear of giants. The two giants put themselves in a strange position, like a sledgehammer, put their arm in front of their chest, and hold the stick in their other hand, squeezing it tightly. In the next second, the two open their mouths, and out of them comes the most terrifying and loud sound I have ever heard. The whole earth is shaking and I have the impression that the stairs will collapse. People crowding the gates are thrown in large numbers into the air, falling to the ground by a blow that seems very painful.

I kept going up, unable to believe what had just happened. I look up at the light, everything getting whiter and whiter. My feet got used to the distance between the steps, which makes me climb them without even looking at them. When the light blinds me, I close my eyes and continue to climb until I have a strange feeling that I am no longer doing so.

I open my eyes and sigh loudly, taking a deep breath as if I forgot to breathe again. I stand up, feeling my body seem to be stretched. The light still blinds me and soon I hear a squeak of neon lights, similar to the one at the boarding school. My eyes get used to the bright light and begin to distinguish several shapes, realizing that I am in a hospital room.