Chapter 81:

Mirage Amongst the Marvel

New Leaf!


 I was becoming nervous… My smile slowly faded…

It’s so weird… I spent about a month with Ren, but why?.. Sure, his face was intimidating when I first saw him, but I thought I got used to his look. So why does his face look so scary now? Even scarier than when I first saw him…

But my thoughts were interrupted by a loud ‘bang’ sound, followed by cheers from the crowd.

I turned to look at the sky again…

Wow… Are these fireworks?.. They’re so… They’re so pretty. So bright… So colourful…

And then, I saw something fly into the air. When it was high above us, it exploded, releasing the same ‘bang’ sound. The projectile then exploded into many paths, creating something like a flower shape. The colour then sprinkled down for a few seconds before disappearing. It was red… It was so bright… It was so dazzling… And the sound — it was scary, but something about it made it so… satisfying…

I also noticed that light was being shone onto the falls. The reflective water made the colour pop… And the colours were so attractive. Contrasting shades of purple and blue…

I couldn’t take my eyes off the spectacle… No, I wanted to focus on this display… but I couldn’t.

I tried not to, but I found my head turning to face Ren…

I watched him… He looked so angry… Yet, he looked so expressionless… He looked a bit sad… Yet, he looked so expressionless. Another loud ‘bang’ sound was released… Yet, he looked so expressionless. I watched as the now light blue sparkles trickling down reflect in his eyes… But they looked a bit more monochrome.

Both of my hands were tightly gripping the railings. I was looking down, my head in between my arms. I saw my limbs slightly tremble as it became slightly harder to maintain balance. I could feel my breathing gradually becoming heavier. And… I could taste a repulsive taste develop in my mouth…

No… Why… No, this can’t be happening — it just can’t! I… Things were fine just until recently! So why?..

Another loud ‘bang’ sound played — another beautiful display of colour — another dazzling pattern — another burst of bright light — another applause from the crowd…

Oh… I guess didn’t want to realize the truth… I didn’t want to find it again… Though, I guess I never really concretely confirmed it… But I can’t run from it… Eventually, I’ll just get tired and give up — lay down and let it wash over me.

I quietly sighed — showing hostility wouldn’t do anything…

This person beside me… He’s the same as all those other people. He’s the same as everyone else I met… He’s the same as the people who claim to be taking care of me. He’s the same as the people who claim to care about me.

Another loud explosion… Another spectacle wasted on me…

I sighed again…

...I’ll just accept it. Ren Morales… hates me.

I kept my head down… My arms and legs were still trembling… That taste was still in my mouth… And as I was staring, I saw a small splash of water…

“Hm? Camry-”

“Shut up!”

I suddenly looked up, and as I did, I swatted away his hand that was reaching out to me. After, I ran…

How did I look like? I was scared… But at the same time, I was angry. But at the same time, I was sad. But at the same time, I was disgusted. But at the same time, I was anxious.

“Huh? C-Camryn? R-Ren, what happened!?”

I didn’t know where I was going. And I didn’t care where I was going. As long as I get away from that person…

I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t have anything to say to him. Instead, I just wanted to get away from him. He’s no one to me… He’s scary… He’s just one of those fake people that pretended to give a crap about me! He doesn’t care! What did he want with me!? Why did I let myself fall for his trap!?

He doesn’t care about me! No one has cared about me for all my life!

I screamed in frustration…

“Dammit… Dammit!”