Letter Again

“Hold, hold, hold on.” I put my hand up as if it could halt this magical being. “I’m not supposed to die?”

Well, what do you think I was doing before you showed up? Quite frankly, I was in the billions, and now I’m stuck at the three millionth and third revision. I’ve been trying to figure this one out since day one! I’m tired! There are only so many times I can restart.

“Revisions? Like, you were trying out different paths? Ways I wouldn’t die?” I ask but the answer is obvious.

You get it. But it’s hard to do calculations without all the information. You—

A concentrated amount of wind pokes me in the chest, and I look down.

Have missing documents. Always at the same time. Gone. Nothing there, and then you’re back, filling up my manila folders like usual. It’s odd. It’s a riot. Why?

Despite the darkness, I could feel an essence in front of me, its domineering energy. It dissipates just as quickly as it comes. Missing documents? There was paper in this realm?

That’s what you’re focusing on?

I begin to pace back and forth as I tap my finger against my lip. “Missing information? Then, you have information for everything!” I clap my hands. “Great! Can you tell me who murdered Drew? Please?” It didn’t feel great knowing I’m dead, but I have to find one positive out of this.

No can do, Missy. Also, I told you, I’m starting over. You’re only here ‘cause I thought maybe you’d have the answer to this. Buut, you don’t, so.

I couldn’t picture this God, but I imagine they just shrugged. “So, all the other times, I’ve died you didn’t bother bringing me here?” It was a good question but once it left my mouth, it answered itself. No, they haven’t. Why would they? Wait, why can’t you tell me? I don’t want you to start over. Why would you even start over because of me?

Well, as I said, I’m tired. Also, if my Boss finds out I haven’t restarted after your first death, I’m dead. Deader than you for a fact.

“Your boss? You have bosses? Sorry, I guess the better question is, you were supposed to restart all along?” I didn’t want to put aside the topic of a shadow corporate world that exists beyond my mortal earth but as any selfish human, I have to focus on myself. “I’m touched. I’m saying it now. So, it doesn’t feel weird when I think it and you’ve read it. Why would you do that? I haven’t even gone that far for my customer service.”

I know.

“Watch it.”

Ha-ha. It’s simple. I want to solve you, Larrise. I care for humans. I care for your decaying Earth. And I want you to live. I want to retire and feel satisfied that I’ve done something. Not many feel like I do, unfortunately. Those who do are usually shunned. Some have gone missing for saying much less.

“Woah, hey, if you’re going to get in trouble…” I swallow back the knot in my throat. I guess all my functions have returned, even my tears. To have someone care that much, to your insignificant life, it’s weird. I feel weird.

Insignificant? Is that how you would describe it? I can say what I want as this is my personal void, and I say to you Larrise, you’re special. I don’t put you on a pedestal. I believe all humans are special. I just want you to know. I don’t get to say it often. In front of the breakroom telly, I do but that’s different.

I wipe my cheek and chuckle. I really think you’re spilling too much there now. Do you really expect me to believe you have breakrooms? And television?

You’re right. I’ll stop here. Well, it’s been a nice chat.

“Stop.”

Is there something else?

You can’t. You can’t undo everything. There has to be a way. I click my tongue. Again, I sound exactly like every character out there.

Oh, is this human resolution I’ve watched about? The hero? You want to be a hero?

It’s not that I want to be a hero. But I want to fix this. Also, just because you’ll know, yes, I want to know who killed Drew. It’s selfish and ridiculous, I know, but please. Is there any way?

I can sense not only that. You want to stop Drew from dying. I can’t allow that.

Tch.

You’re sweet, Larrise.

“Sweet enough to figure something out?” I squeak and a gust pats my head.

There is something. But you can only solve yourself, Larrise. Nothing else. It’s an entertaining idea actually. I’m feeling a tingle. I think it’s you. Or is it me this time? We’re about to find out.

Wait, what are you going to do?

It’s not what I’m going to do. But it’s what you’re going to do. Though I don’t know what you can do that I haven’t tried.

My breath catches and again, the presence returns. It’s at the back of me, hugging me and I’m falling. Wind whips through my hair and their voice whispers, I guess it’s part of the mystery. My ears pop and goosebumps run along my arms. I begin to scream. Shh.

Then, silence. Darkness. No, not darkness.

“You’ve lost, and you don’t even know it.”

Red. Audience gasps. Popcorn.

I’m back.