Chapter 8:

Seen and not Lost

Til Death Do Us Part


“All along it was you.” 

My breathing picks up ten paces. How was I back here? Was this what they meant? Go back in time? Are they kidding? I place the tub of popcorn on the floor and rustle for my phone. Drew. He had to be texting any minute. Drew! 

Drew! I rush out the theater and bump into a wall, no not a wall.

“Watch it.” Some well-dressed teenager brushes their shoulder and flicks his thumb at me to his friends. They all laugh. I don’t look further, running to the car and slamming the door behind me. I didn’t apologize. I should’ve apologized, I must’ve appeared crazy. No. It doesn’t matter. What’s my manic state if not for the excitement of seeing my best friend again. 

Giddiness. Joy. Relief. Pain. There’s no word for this. This feeling inside me. There’s a tornado whirling through my mind. Just imagine! Yesterday he was dead, no not yesterday, mere moments. Mere moments of speaking with God brought this luck. 

Oh, I wouldn’t consider it luck, darling.” My radio buzzes alive. A distinct voice emanates. My throat dries. 

“How are you here?” How are you still reading my mind? 

Consider me a travelling companion. Well, for my days off, or any breaks that I get. Which isn’t long.” They speak again and I try to turn the radio off but it’s no use. “Ouch. I’m here to help, Larrise. Also, hinder. Considering what’s running through your mind.

What? I’m innocent. I wasn’t thinking about warning Drew and travelling very far away from this city. No…

As I expect. That calculation was in my plans, I wouldn’t have sent you down otherwise.” How did you send me down? How am I in the past? “Simple rivalravel. Do keep it hush hush. Not that you’d be able to tell my Boss.” 

I sigh and begin the familiar drive. Just ignore it, Larrise. They’re just a voice. It’s simply a bump in the road. 

I assure you, I am no bump in the road. Would you like me to take over this story?”  I press on the brakes. Excuse me? “Nevermind. Just keep following the road here.” 

I raise my eyebrow and continue on. All that mattered was Drew. Not this entity. If that’s what one can call it. Call it…I should make a name. A name to curse at anytime I’m mad. 

I already have a name. You just can’t pronounce it. Also, that’s not very nice.”

“You’re not very nice either, uhm. Darn.” I smack my steering wheel. “It’s so difficult with you not having a name. I need to call you something. It gives formality to a sentence.” I begin to tap.

Formality? You just- oh whatever. Give me a some stupid human pet name. Just don’t get attached to me.” They scoff and I roll my eyes. I don’t think that’ll be happening. A stupid human pet name, though. Interesting. Spots was a classical dog name. Do you like that, Spots?  Do ya? 

Silence. I’m guessing that’s a no. What about Kami? It means God in Japanese, and also paper. You’re missing papers about me so it fits in some weird way. Would you agree, Kami? 

It’s not awful. It’s also incredibly silly. If you were in Japan, you’d simply be calling me God. Which is ironic since you don’t believe in God.” 

“No, I guess I don’t. Even now, I don’t. I can’t consider you a God anyway. What sort of God has bosses and voids? No. No, you’re no God, Kami. I don’t know what you are but a God isn’t one of them.” I remark. Right on cue, Drew’s bleak silhouette lines my view. I start dancing in my seat, my foot unevenly twisting on the pedal. Drew! I slide my window down and yell at the top of my lungs. 

“Drew!” My voice shakes him up and he waves to me. I can’t get of out my seatbelt fast enough. 

Remember what I- oh you’re out the car already. Great.”  

Kev Scotia