Sense of Displeasure

“That is perhaps the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”

I finished recounting the important part of my story, and Eris didn’t look impressed. That’s why I warned her it wouldn’t be very interesting. I wish she would’ve asked me about the spider thing instead. I kept mentioning bits and pieces of it, but unlike Silvias, she just wouldn’t bite.

“Which part?”

If she was talking about my plan to get taller I wouldn’t have anything to say about that. Despite trying fairly regularly for the past week or so, I hadn’t actually gotten any taller. Ane was supportive of my desire, and I appreciated that about her, but I could see how most people would think I was wasting my time. I mean, even when it did stretch me out, my body would always return to its default state.

Although I did recently learn how to use my excess essence to make my hair grow longer. That’s progress, right?

“All of it.”

“At least pick something specific! How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“No, I mean, I didn’t bother remembering any of the details, so I couldn’t get more specific if I wanted to.”

“Pay more attention! It wasn’t that long of a story.”

“I just have a vague sense of displeasure. I’m not even sure what you were talking about.”

“I’d rather you not write things off that easily. It wasn’t my best work, but it was at least a little interesting.”

“Who are you again?”

“Don’t lump me in with your vague sense of displeasure!”

“Honestly, the most disturbing part was your casual revelation that I’ve been praying to you this whole time. And that’s the reason why you’re obsessed with me.”

Hmm? Had that not come up in conversation before? I guess not.

“Well, don’t worry about it. Even if you stopped praying to me now, you’ve already done it enough that I’m sure I’ll keep trying to give you my blessings for years to come.”

And as for Ane, well, she’s taken to praying to me constantly. Logically speaking I know that’s why I’ve become incredibly interested in her, but that doesn’t change how I feel. It’s pretty much impossible for me to not think for her in an incredibly positive light.

“That’s exactly why I’m worried about it. And I’m sure I’ll regret asking about this, but at multiple points in your story you seemed to just start talking to someone in your head.”

“Oh, that? That’s just the bird. Come on, show yourself.”

I forced the bird to materialize in front of Eris. Now that I was wearing a fancy ball gown, I had him upgrade his look to an even more stylish suit that complimented my dress. The two of us looked pretty good together.

“A pleasure, Miss Eris. I’m the unfortunate soul who has been trapped within the mind of this imbecile.”

“My condolences. At least you’ve got enough room to stretch your legs.”

I forced him back into his spirit form.

“Why is it that the two of you instantly start ganging up on me. Shouldn’t you have been more surprised that I have a ghost?”

“I was incredibly surprised, but there’s nothing to be gained by showing you any of my real emotions. I suppose if anything, I was glad to have another comrade that sees you for what you are.”

“Well, don’t get too attached to him. Ane doesn’t like that he’s technically there when we. . . You know. . .”

“I wish I didn’t.”

“Anyway, she thinks she can perform a ritual to switch his host to someone else. But since I might still have a use for him, I think I’ll have him start living in my little sister soon. Besides, they’re from the same neighborhood, so I’m sure they’ll get along.”

“Your little sister?”

“Oh, I guess I should tell you about her as well.”

“Actually, don’t. I’ve cleared up everything that I needed to. I’ll be leaving.”

“Wait, you can’t just leave like that!”

“Yes I can.”

“I mean, yeah, sure, but don’t actually do it. I still haven’t cleared up a big misunderstanding.”

“Your entire existence is nothing but a misunderstanding.”

“That’s why I need to clear things up when I can. I’m sure that you thought that how much I enjoyed Ane dressing me up was at odds with my stance on maid costumes, but it’s precisely the fact that Ane wasn’t dressed up as a maid that made it enjoyable. So I’m sorry if I got your hopes up; I really don’t like maid costumes though!”

“At this point I can only blame myself for thinking that you might actually say something important.” Eris turned around and started to walk away.

“Wait, weren’t we going to talk about our current mission?”

“So you want to talk about our mission? Well, let me clear that up. You solved it, congratulations.” Eris pivoted and rushed back towards me.

“Despite your words, you don’t seem very happy about that.”

“That’s probably because I’m not very happy about it. You solved the case, but in a way that won’t get us any money. There was no murderer, and thanks to you, there won’t be any more missing girls.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“For the public, sure, but not for us. With the way things are, this incident will slowly just fade out of everyone’s memory. Without a murderer in custody we won’t get paid for any of this. The real explanation and solution to this are far too insane for any one to actually believe any of it. My best bet at this point is wait for the church and the people of Milize to put a price on your head and then hand you over.”

“Ignoring the fact that you’d turn me in for money, why would I get a bounty?”

I could think of plenty of reasons, but I was curious what Eris was thinking of. She shouldn’t have known about my spiky mouse idea yet.

“I can think of more reasons than you, but the most profitable is the fact that you’ve ruined their saint.”

“Ruined her? In a manner of speaking, but you should see what she does to me.”

“That disturbing thought is just as irrelevant as the rest of you. The saint is supposed to be the most honorable, noble, and upstanding person in all of the kingdom. Through her piousness alone she is given treatment equal to upper nobility.”

“Upstanding? Hardly. Trust me, Ane is into some pretty wild stuff. I mean, the kind of things that made an undead blush. She might have seemed rather tame in my story, but trust me, I didn’t mention all of the weird stuff.”

Just the other day I noticed that she keeps eating fruit that has already had the peel stolen from it. For someone so rich I just don’t understand why she doesn’t buy the whole orange. Doesn’t she know the skin is where all the nutrients are?

Is that the behavior of a normal person?

“And I’ll ask that you never do. Whether or not her current personality is the real Anelace Milize or not, as far as the rest of the kingdom is concerned, their saint turned into an absolute degenerate after making your acquaintance.”

“I see. That could be a problem. Is there any possibility that no one notices Ane’s sudden change in attitude?”

“None. I’d be surprised if she isn’t excommunicated by the end of the month.”

“Well, then will you at least ask me about why I’m calling her Ane?”

The two of us thought up couple nicknames, but no one would ask me about them.

“I would say not on your life, but that already has no value. Goodbye. I would pray that we never meet again, but now I know that I can’t even pray anymore.”

Eris gave the rack another crank and left just as silently as she entered. There it was again. Her words were harsh, but her actions showed she cared.

Ane returned a while later with a displeased look on her face. I really did appreciate how she wore her emotions on her sleeves. I wasn’t particularly adept at reading beneath the surface.

“Prix, you taste like you were talking with another woman.”

“Accuracy aside, I’ve got a few questions about that statement.”

“Sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. You smell like you were talking to another woman.”

“That one makes more sense, but it’s still pretty impressive.”

“Who was it? I didn’t think anyone would be able to find our hidden love chamber.”

“I would usually agree with you, but your opponent was too talented. It was a mercenary from my party, Eris. She’s a ranger, but her talents are more in line with a rogue. It would be next to impossible to hide a hidden room from her.”

“I see. I noticed she also used the stretcher. She has good taste.”

“I agree. She seems to enjoy messing with me as much as you do. My fourth sense is telling me that the two of you would probably get along.”

“Is that so? Then perhaps you should set up a meeting. I’d love to speak to this woman myself.”

Ane seemed uncharacteristically serious. She must really want to meet Eris.

“Of course! I’m sure it’ll be a blast!”

If things went right the harem route might still be open.