The Answer I Shouldn't Have Given.

I started thinking.

What should I say now? Does she know that I like her?

I looked at her and asked, "W-Why are you asking?"

She tilted her head, her hair falling onto my lap.

"My mind told me to ask you. So... how do you feel about me, Aoto?"

I panicked.

I had never thought about this before. Or rather, I never allowed myself to think about it.

I said, "Look, I never thought of this before—"

She cut me off.

Her voice was no longer soft. It was loud, trembling.

"THAT'S NOT MY ANSWER! TELL ME IN ONE WORD! YES OR NO!"

I was terrified. I thought for a whole minute, my heart beating like a 

drum.

And then, like an idiot, I said it.

"No. I don't like you at all."

Silence.

She stood up slowly. Her expression... I couldn't read it.

She said, "I was expecting this answer from you. Whatever. If you had said 'yes' instead of 'no', I would have rejected you in a second."After saying that, she went to her room.

Bang.

I started overthinking again. My head was hurting so much.

Evening.

I decided to apologize to her. I don't know why, maybe because I was feeling so guilty. I went to her door.Knock knock.

She instantly went to her room and closed the door again the moment she heard my voice. I thought, is she doing this on purpose?

Next morning. At school.

"Aoto, did something happen?" Ikkun asked.

I didn't reply. Then Ren asked the same thing.

"Aoto, did something happen?"

"Nothing happened," I said.

"You are looking upset," they said.

"I just can't sleep properly, that's the reason."

Even I know the real reason why I am upset — because she closed her room door after seeing me.

At lunch.

Ikkun and Ren were both having their meals and I was just sitting next to them.

Ikkun asked, "Aren't you hungry, Aoto?"

I smiled and said, "No, I just don't want to eat anything right now."

They continued their meals and I was still thinking about her.At home.

I was sitting on the sofa, again thinking about what happened yesterday. I saw Sara leaving her room and I thought this was the perfect chance to talk to her. I called her.

"Sara, listen—"

The moment I said that, she went back to her room. I was completely broken from inside. My eyes were teary and my whole body was shaking.

At night.

I was hungry, so I went to the kitchen to make something for myself. 

I know how to cook now because she taught me everything. While cooking, I was still thinking about her and then I realized — maybe she hasn't eaten anything. Today she didn't come out of her room at all.

I stood outside her room with our dinner.

Knock knock!!

I knocked on her door but she didn't respond. I called her name many times, still she didn't respond. I knew she was inside because I heard the voice of a chair moving when I knocked.I kept calling her name. And suddenly—

"What do you want!?"

She opened the door and shouted. I froze there and said with a very scared voice,

"I... I made dinner for us."

She said, "Eat it, I don't want it!"

Bang!

She closed her door again. I didn't know why she was doing all this, 

but I knew that this all started on that day when she asked me—

"Do you like me or not?"Why? Why did I say I didn't like her? I should have told her that I really don't know?

Whatever. I guess I already knew this ending. I should move on and start returning to the guy I used to be.

After 10 days.

It's been a few days and Sara and I haven't even said a single word to each other. And I think she also started feeling uncomfortable with me. If she wants to sit on the sofa but sees me sitting there, she directly goes to her room. And if she sees me anywhere, she tries to go away from me.

Yeah, I think this is the ending I deserve. That's the reason I never wanted any girl to talk with me.

After a month. At school, during lunch.

Ren said, "Guys, wanna know a secret?" while smiling.

Ikkun and I both said, "No need."

Ren said, "Okay, so the secret is....."

Ikkun and I said, "We don't want to know."

Ren again said, "So the secret is that only 4 to 5 months are left for the new class."

We said, "Yeah, we know."

Ren again said, "So I decided that I'll confess my feelings toward Tachibana Sara."

I didn't react at all and said, "I hope you both end up together." While looking downward.

I would be shocked or amazed if Sara and I were still talking to each other. But it's been a month, so I don't care at all now.

At home.

I was sitting on the sofa and saw Sara looking at me while standing next to the sofa. I understood that she wanted me to go away from the hallway. So I went to my room. It's not the first time she was standing next to the sofa waiting for me to go away, so I am used to it now.

Finally, after a month, I laughed...... I laughed at myself while watching the mirror and started saying,

"One girl!......... One girl you loved, Aoto ......... And she is also going away from you. You never deserved to be loved by anyone."

Bang!

Someone opened my door and said,

"What's the problem with you, idiot! I got scared because you were laughing like an idiot! If you wanna laugh like that, then go outside of my house and when you will be normal then come again!"

After saying that, she kicked me out of the house. Yeah, I was actually laughing like an idiot. My luck is that bad that she made my emotional scene into a funny one.

I went to the nearby park and sat on the bench and didn't notice when the night arrived. It's still 9 pm, so I decided to stay at the park until 10 pm, then I'll head home.

And suddenly a hand came toward me and grabbed my ears so hard and said,

"Do you wanna spend your whole life here?"

I looked behind and saw Sara holding my ears so hard. And she said,

"I am heading home and if you head home after me then I won't open the door."

I didn't take her words seriously that time and ended up knocking on the door.

"Hey, Sara, open the door," I said.

She said, "I warned you, now it's your fault. I am not going to open it. Stay outside!"

I called her name many times and she still didn't open the door and I lost all my hopes.

I sat on the floor and tried to fall asleep because it's 1 am and after 10 minutes she opened the door and said,

"You still here? I thought you left because you weren't knocking."

I was exhausted so I didn't reply and she said, "Go inside, I can show mercy on you."

I thanked her and I went inside and directly went to sleep.

And that's how my life started getting worse again.