Something lost, everything gained

Even if Ceres had told her that it was unnecessary, Helia still held her breath and closed her eyes as she jumped into the water.

She thought she felt something touch her leg right before she went in. Hopefully, it was not a Shadow. Everything would be over if she was corrupted at that moment.

But, instead of the expected cold of the ocean, she felt solid ground beneath her feet. She opened her eyes, and all the air she had stored in her lungs escaped her with a surprised gasp.

The night sky, endless, covered in bright stars. Helia did not know what she was standing on, because there was no floor to speak of. Below her feet, an even more powerful darkness, unyielding. Impossible. She recognized vaguely the shapes of the cliffs, of the ocean, she had seen mere hours ago. Only now, there was no color. No people, no plants, no animals, no life at all.

Only nothingness remained.

Helia gasped. “Impressive, I know”, Ceres took on his true form besides her. “It seems we are in the realm of the Gods. I wish I could have shown you this view before. A lot more colorful and lively.”

She smiled. “Maybe in the next one”, she shrugged and winked for him. “So, what now?”

“Now, we ensure they reach the following world intact”, Ceres nodded.

In front of them both floated a massive ball of light that they could not ignore anymore. Helia assumed it was important for their purpose, so she stepped towards it.

A sound she didn’t think she would ever hear again interrupted her.

“Uhm… I’m sorry, I don’t know how to… Hi, I guess I’m here too?”, Helia turned around, and there he was, looking embarrassed and rubbing his blond hair with one hand.

Arthem.

“WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE?”, yelled Ceres, echoing perfectly what Helia was feeling, only much more aggressively.

Arthem shrugged his shoulders. “I have no idea. Honestly. Well…”, he paused. “I did fall into the water after you, but I was expecting to drown, not join you… Wherever this is”, he looked around with confusion.

“You should be there!”, Ceres continued, pointing at the Souls Helia carried with her. “WHY ARE YOU NOT THERE?!”

“I! SAID! I! DON’T! KNOW!”, he responded, agitated. His expression seemed somewhat guilty to Helia, but she did not know what about. There were many things he could choose from in only the past few days, after all.

“Maybe we can still throw him in there”, mumbled Ceres, walking closer to Arthem. “Try it, Helia!”

She sighed and closed her eyes, seeking the familiar sensation of a nearby Soul, calling him in. But here, she could sense no Mana at all.

“I can’t”, Helia shook her head. Ceres cawed in frustration.

“Second idea”, proceeded the Spirit. “Throw him in, literally.”

He held onto Arthem’s shirt with his beak and started dragging him in Helia’s direction. Of course, Arthem fought back and struggled.

“Hey! Stop that! What are you doing, you useless chicken! You’re going to tear it!”, he complained. Even if he was in a much better state than in the cavern, able to stand up and move on his own, he was no match for Ceres’ size and sheer physical force. Or his stubbornness, even if it was probably a close contest on that one.

Helia couldn’t hold it in anymore. The stress, the fear, the adrenaline, it all went away at the sight of this surreal scene. She laughed, and laughed, until tears were falling down her face. Tears of sadness, of happiness, of relief, she did not know, and she did not care.

Ceres and Arthem stopped and looked at each other, surprised. “It's not funny, Helia! He will ruin everything!”, complained Ceres.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just, you two, here, like that!”, she couldn’t stop.

Arthem snorted, which earned him a stern look of his own from Ceres. At that sight, he, too, started laughing heartily. With a groan, Ceres released him from his grip.

“Unbelievable!”, he shrieked in protest.

After a few minutes, Helia calmed down. She was feeling much better. Much more ready for whatever had to happen.

“Ceres?”, she asked, and he glared at her with frustration. “When we are done, my Soul will also go through, right? Even though I’m here.”

“Yes, of course. You and I both”, he confirmed.

“Can’t he just do the same, then?”, Helia shrugged.

“That’s… Hm…”, the Spirit wondered. “Maybe? I don’t know, Helia. I’m sure he will find a way to ruin everything.”

Arthem seemed hurt by this statement, but Helia didn’t feel like defending him. “Do you want to stop us, Arthem?”, he seemed startled to be addressed directly about it.

“Me? No!”, Arthem objected. With a lower voice and a face that conveyed his shame, he continued. “You might not believe me, but all I wanted was to save the world. I went about it wrong, clearly. Even if it was not my intention, I probably made things worse. But at least, thanks to you, not all is lost. Please, do whatever it is you must do. If I have to stay here, or go back down there into the Shadows, or anything else, just let me know, and I will.”

Ceres squinted his eyes at Arthem with distrust. “Do we have another choice, Ceres?”, Helia asked.

The Spirit sighed. “No, I guess not. If it doesn’t work, we will know why”, he glared daggers at Arthem, who had resigned himself to take on Ceres’ disdain.

The three of them stood together in front of the floating light in silence for a few seconds. Helia and Arthem waited for Ceres to let them know what their next step would be.

“My gut is telling me that is everyone. All of the Spirits of the world have converged here, after being taken by the darkness. I, too, must join them”, explained Ceres. He then snuggled up to Helia, embracing her with one wing, completely ignoring Arthem. “I love you, my dearest Helia. I am sorry for everything. I regret that our time together was so short. But I know, we will meet again”, he told her, and she knew only she could hear these words.

Helia returned his hug. “I understand. Thank you for everything, Ceres. I love you”, she whispered, burying her face in his soft feathers for the last time.

She held back tears as he went into the light, merging with it. Once his form disappeared entirely, the glowing ball pulsated with energy, changing its shape into… Ceres.

Helia shared a perplexed look with Arthem. “Welcome, my child- children? Right, you are here too, I see”, the Ceres shaped entity also seemed annoyed at Arthem. “I am the World, the Mana, the Spirits all around you.”

“Ceres…?”, she inquired without much conviction.

“Oh, yes, that is right, I have taken on the form of the one who joined last. His will was strong, and I hope a familiar face will put you at ease”, responded the phoenix. “Rest assured, he is part of me, and so, I am him. His memories, and his feelings, they are mine, too, my dear Helia. You may call me by his name, if you so desire.”

She sighed. She had expected things to be strange and surprising, and still, she couldn’t help but be shocked by this development. “Alright… Ceres. Please, tell us, what should we do, now?”

Ceres nodded. “Him, nothing”, he pointed his long neck towards Arthem. “You, who holds every human Soul within you, shall now give them to me. It is much like the Pact we once made… Well, twice, I guess?”, he cocked his head, amused. “By taking them in, they, too, will merge with the Mana in their current shape, and be reborn in the new world, just like Spirits are.”

“And what about us?”, she asked.

“Do not worry. Your Soul, too, will feel the call, and join me. As for that one, well”, Ceres gave a mischievous smile to Arthem. “Maybe you will be able to follow them? Who knows. This has never happened before.”

The Spirit laughed, but Helia felt troubled. She reached out and took Arthem’s hand, trying to reassure him with a feeble smile, but her eyes betrayed her worry. He seemed surprised at first, but quickly returned the gesture, nodding as he held her hand firmly.

She exhaled. Helia was pretty sure she didn’t have a physical body anymore, and still, she could feel her heart beating wildly. “Alright”, she said after a few seconds. “I’m ready.”

Steadying her resolve, she took a step forward, still holding onto Arthem’s hand. He did not budge, however. “I have a question”, he blurted out. “If that is allowed?”, he added once he saw Ceres’ piercing glare.

“What is it?”, was the Spirit’s response.

“If we do this, will the same thing happen again, next time?”, Arthem asked.

“Such is the way of the world”, shrugged Ceres. “Spirits will inhabit the Mana, and so, living creatures will call up to them with their Souls. Inevitably the Sun and the Moon shall be worshiped as Gods, become the most powerful Spirits, remember their love for one another, and bring an end to everything for a single instant together.”

Helia brought her free hand to her face, horrified. “Surely, there is something we can do about it?”, she wondered.

“You know, this is usually a very quick and easy process, when there is only the Moon Priest here, and no interference”, Ceres groaned. “Helia, do you know how many times this has happened already? Actually, no, don’t ask, I have lost count. As long as the Sun and the Moon exist in the sky, bringing life to the world, they will be seen as Gods, eventually. And the primordial Spirits who have taken that form have loved each other since the birth of the universe. It is a cruel fate, really. Both for them, and for you.”

“With every cycle, they get more and more impatient, and it tends to happen sooner. It is a shame. In any case, I am sure another Moon Priest will rise, and bring the Souls with them, once more. And, if I may be so selfish, I do hope it will be your Soul, and me, in the next world as well”, Ceres tried to reassure her with a smile, but this was a burden she did not want placed upon her once more.

Images flashed before them, illustrating his words. One after another, worlds were born, life bloomed, the Sun and the Moon came into existence, and, inevitably, their love caused the demise of all that was.

Helia felt Arthem squeezing her hand much harder, and she yelped in pain. He seemed startled to have been the cause, and let her go suddenly. “Sorry”, he apologized, looking genuinely remorseful. “I just don’t think I can accept that. What is the point of a new world, or humanity being reborn, if we are doomed from the start?”

“Life is worth living, even if you know all that awaits you at the end is death”, responded Helia quietly.

He furrowed his brows, frustrated by her vapid statement. “Come on. You know what I mean. There must be something, anything, that we can do to save them.”

She had no blood, and yet, she felt her face blushing. She really had meant well.

Ceres shook his head. “I just explained it, did I not? Do you possess the ability to listen to others? I will repeat it, slower this time, just for you. Everything is made out of Mana. Then, Spirits inhabit the Mana and- “

“What if there were no more Spirits in the Mana?”, Arthem interrupted him. “No more Gods.”

Ceres blinked a few times in rapid succession, shocked. “Ridiculous. Absurd. How would that even work? Where would all the Spirits go?”

“Well, I don’t know! I just have to point out, if there were no Spirits, none of this would happen!”, he responded, visibly upset.

Helia was deep in thought, their continuous bickering but a background noise. “What if they had physical, mortal bodies?”, she asked no one in particular.

“Yes, something like that!”, Arthem's eyes lit up with a smile. “Why can’t they just live like us? Is that not what they want, too? To form a Pact and obtain a body?”

Ceres squinted his eyes at them in silence for a few seconds. “And how exactly do you suggest that be done?”

“Are you not literally the will of the World itself? Just choose to do that next time, or something!”, Arthem's tone betrayed his annoyance.

“Oh, of course! How silly of me! Will you too, next time you are born, choose the color of your skin, how tall you will grow up to be, who your parents will be? That is how it works, right?”, Ceres ridiculed Arthem’s demands. “The laws of life and the universe itself cannot be changed at will. I cannot influence the world that will come next.”

Arthem looked like he really, really wanted to scream at Ceres, but he somehow calmed himself down.

A wrinkle appeared on Helia’s forehead. “But we can force humanity’s Souls to pass through and be reborn in the next world”, her question was implicit.

“That is thanks to, and through our Pact”, Ceres answered in a much kinder tone. “The one with the individual Spirit Ceres, I mean. It is how it was written within your selves when you became one, even if you were unaware of the details back then. When you give up a part of your Soul in such a way, obtaining the ability to Handle in exchange, it is nothing short of a small miracle. Through that power, almost anything is possible.”

“Then, can we not rewrite it? Break our Pact and form it again, one last time? Would that work?”, Helia refused to give up.

“The only reason you are allowed to exist here is through our Pact, Helia. Without that, you, and every Soul you have brought along with you, will disperse away into the Mana”, responded Ceres with remorse.

“How am I still here, then?”, interjected Arthem.

“Oh, believe me, I wish I knew”, Ceres rolled his eyes, annoyed. “The leading theory is you are probably somehow a Sun Priest, maybe even a Moon Priest, other than that, no idea.”

Anger took over Arthem’s expression. “I most certainly am not such a thing.”

“Whatever you say”, Ceres seemed extremely pleased to have destabilized Arthem so much.

An idea sprouted inside Helia’s head. “Arthem does not have a Pact with any Spirit”, she muttered.

They both looked at her, and almost simultaneously, their eyes widened with understanding.

“Yes!”, “No!”, both voices overlapped.

“Helia’s Pact allows her to give you the Souls as a singular entity, instead of them being lost into Mana”, Arthem said, excitedly. “With another Pact, can we make a new rule? Force the Spirits to inhabit physical bodies, instead of the Mana itself?”

“Possibly”, conceded Ceres. “A Pact is a very powerful thing."

"Then, let's do it!", Arthem stepped uncomfortably close to Ceres, who recoiled slightly.

"It is not that simple. If somehow we manage to do that, the Spirits would become Souls, just like yourselves, and thus the Mana would grant them mortal forms, I suppose. However, that would mean no one can interact with the Mana anymore. No more Handling! And no more second chances! I, too, will cease to exist in this form.”

“Without Spirits, the next world will be the last”, he warned them.

Silence fell around them. The darkness below her feet reminded Helia of everything that could go wrong at any moment. It was Arthem who dared speak next, his voice full of resolve. “But at least, it will be ours. No matter what happens, no one else will decide for us what our fate will be.”

“And yet, is that not exactly what you are doing, right now?”, inquired Ceres.

“I am aware of my hypocrisy. Still, that is a sin I will gladly carry, because I believe it is the right thing to do”, Arthem’s declared, withstanding Ceres’ inquisitive gaze with pride.

“Honestly, having to make this decision is terrifying. Maybe everything will go wrong, and we will have doomed the world”, Helia exhaled, trying to calm her shaking body. The Shadows below seemed to be rising, reaching for them. “But maybe it won’t. No matter what, we will share this responsibility, and atone for it by working to make the world a better.”

This time, it was Arthem who took her hand and held it.

“If that is what you wish to do, Helia, I shall oblige”, Ceres bowed his head. “Come, boy”, he beckoned Arthem. “Let us get this over with.”

He hesitated. “Uhm, just in case, my Soul is… Not in the best state. I had to pay a heavy price for all that Handling without a Spirit that I did”, he excused himself.

Helia was glad her curiosity about this had somehow been satiated. She had been wondering what that was and how he had done it, but there had not been an appropriate time to ask him about it ever since they had been reunited.

“That does not matter. You are not bound by the limits of your body at this moment. Now come, I said”, the Spirit waved at him, somehow looking even more annoyed than before.

Arthem stood in front of Ceres’ towering figure. “This is not how it goes, usually, but I will make it easier, just for you. State what it is that you wish to obtain through our Pact”, ordered Ceres.

Everything they had worked for, everything they had tried to accomplish, came down to this. They could not save their world, but they had the power to create a better one for those who were yet to come.

“Spirits will be no more. Just like every other being, they will become Souls. Through this, they shall  obtain physical forms of their choosing, and live their lives as mortals”, was Arthem’s response, ignoring Ceres’ attempt to ridicule him one last time.

Without a word, Ceres lowered his head, touching Arthem’s front. Helia couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Having to share her connection with Ceres wasn’t something she had ever wanted to do, or even imagined possible. Logically, she knew that wasn’t just Ceres, it was the embodiment of every Spirit that had ever existed, but still. It was taking the form of her partner.

“Whoa”, exclaimed Arthem when it was over, blinking rapidly. “That’s weird. Huh.”

“Yes, yes, I know”, an exasperated Ceres responded. “As I said, there is no guarantee. After all, it's not like it has been done before. Do you want to do this, or not?”

Arthem and Helia locked eyes, their hands still laced together, and they smiled at each other one last time before turning back to Ceres. Helia raised her free hand tentatively towards the Spirit, a gesture which Arthem promptly imitated. As her palm came into contact with his soft feathers, light started pouring from her body, flowing into his.

When it was over, she felt her own Soul, inside of her, demanding to leave her body, too. She couldn’t help but feel fear, knowing once it happened, she would cease to exist. She still had a heart, and it protested, wanting to stay alive, irrationally, as if that was what she was at that moment.

Something soft touched her head and messed with her hair. Almost simultaneously, something squeezed her hand. She focused on both of those feelings, instead, and slowly, she let go.