Chapter 7:

Round 1, Match 3: Old-Tailed-Fox vs WittyAcorn. Old-Tailed-Fox:

Community Sudden Fiction Tournament Arc

Round 1, Match 3: Old-Tailed-Fox vs WittyAcorn.

Prompt: Dictators and Tyrants

Participant: Old-Tailed-Fox (

"The time has come for the Old Tyrant and Dictator to fall. Their reign has held us down for too long men!"

The Leader of the Freedom Army shouts from the front of his men."

"These two will not hold this land that was our ancestors thousands of years ago!"

"But Sire, they're immortal!" A man shouts.

"DO NOT LET THAT STOP US!" Spit flies from his mouth.

"Because men after today we shall be the Immortals!"

The Immortal Dragon Tyrant and the Immortal First Human stand below the Hillside of their city of Katzan.

"Puny humans wish they could best us. Let them come and see the might of the Immortals."

Back on the hill side with the army of three hundred thousand, the last remaining of the Freedom Warriors. The Last of Humanity to face off against the gods.


The Freedom soldiers charged the army of the Abyss. The rain slides down the men's faces, the thunder rages on, lighting lights up this endless plain of darkness.


The battle begins as the Freedom warriors take on the Army of the Abyss. The Leader of the Freedom men launches his Light magic; it sends ripples across this plain a beacon for his men ready to die for the chance of him Reaching the immortal leaders.

"I will not fall you hear me DEACON, AND ZEN! DO YOU HEAR ME!"

Falamar shouts to the men his voice cracks the midnight air caressing the men's ears with his determination.

The memories come back to him the pain and anguish of those days when the Tyrant Deacon locked away the women and children, for his amusement taking
what he wanted at no cost of himself.

Zen his old friend, lost to the Tyrant. Zen the First human to become an Immortal he was the future that was ripped from humanity's grasp.

Falamar reaches the Immortals ready for death. No, he will welcome the fight to it's ending.

"Falamar you sacrificed so much to reach us. What does it feel like to be a Chosen Immortal yourself?" Zen asks, reaching his hand out to his old friend.

"Silence beast I will not become one of your kind, you ruled over us for far two long you and that Damned dragon!"

Falamar swings his blade down on Zen who dodges gracefully. Zen slams his hands on the ground and summons two blades made from the endless magic of the Abyss.

"The Abyss is the only way Falamar we must always return to it's beautiful embrace, join us and let the pain and anguish you feel drain away."

Falamar ignores Zen and summons a bow made of pure magic and shoots three arrows that zip by the Immortal and block the dark orbs shot by the Tyrant.

"Deacon, come I shall kill you both by myself that is why I was chosen by The Flame to snuff out the endless darkness!" Falamar draws the blade on his hip and it burns with flame.

A glorious battle rages on between Deacon, Zen, and Falamar.

Deacon shoots orbs from his mouth and launches endless swipes with his endless claws bigger than Falamar himself.

Falamar dodges the massive swipes and cuts off Deacon's arms and head, defeating the beast.

"How dare you kill DEACON!" Zen flies at Falamar. Grabs him by the cloak and shoots up into the sky.

The two gods battle on, the men below watch as their King battles with the Everlasting Zen.

"You truly think you can win, Falamar the Abyss will come even if you manage to beat me, which is impossible." Zen shouts.

"I...I will not falter until you fall and the world becomes mine!" Falamar says his eyes bloodshot from the pressure of staying aloft does to a body.

BASH, CRACK, ZIP, these are the only sounds you can hear even over the roar of the rain that pounds like tiny hammer's at the ground below. The storm rages like a hurricane on land.

"Let's end this Now Zen one last attack. For old times sake?" Zen drops his blade." For Old time sake."

A flash comes through the two men's minds. They are playing in the back Alleys with wooden sticks and plastic shields. Both throw down their weapons and charge.

"Zeeeeeen!" Screams Falamar.
"FALAMAR!" Roars the might Zen the everlasting.

With a final flash that cuts through the fields of The Freedom fighters and the Iron blood Keep. Crumbles to rubble.

This ends the tale of how I took over the World.

Falamar The Tyrant says to his child. As he sits atop his throne he won, taking it from The immortals becoming one himself.

Oh The Abyss our Rightful owner let loose your chaos and take back the world Oh deer Abyss. Embrace this land in your eternity. 


Judge's Feedback

znf: A lot of your story is kind of condensed in the prose passages, but your dialogue is really confusing. Part of it is because it's not tagged, and part of it is you've jumped us into the middle of some fantasy conflict when it's supposed to be a short story. I think the prose sections are okay, and you would've been better off doing more of that to replace some of the dialogue.

OscarHM: You’ve just dropped us into the middle of a climactic scene with next to no context which makes it really hard to judge this in any way. I don’t know any of the characters, the circumstances or relationships here other than what is implied through very limited dialogue. It doesn’t read like anything.

otkrlj: Just felt really random, like we were dropped in the middle of a random fantasy epic. couldn't get attached to anything, and couldn't get a good sense of what was going on wither

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