"The loss of all hope is the loss of all chance. As long as you will it, to a point it shall."
When was the last time I truly willed it to be? Was it when the love of my parents wilted as I couldn't do a thing or is it the selfish desire to go back to these waters?
"Time to switch," I said to Kise as I entered the store.
"Oh, you're finally here."
Another day at my boring job. I wonder how many customers I get today. Well, it's better not to have any, to be honest, makes this job a lot easier. But then again, this store might go bankrupt and I'd have nothing to earn.
Oh, the customers are here already and quite a lot of them. Well, cheers to a busy day I guess.
"That'll be 720 yen."
"Thanks for your patronage."
My years of working here have allowed me to manage the cash register without even thinking about it. Dozing off during work has always been a habit of mine.
"Excuse me how much is this?"
"Oh this one costs 300 yen but the smaller ones cost only 180 yen."
Thinking about certain things here and there, I've never been caught for it but it kinda makes me guilty that I don't put my full focus into work. Also now that I think about it, why haven't I been caught?
Of the millions of customers I've served, none have noticed. I should be glad but doesn't that mean I'm not worth paying attention to?
But... I guess that's better. Not being noticed, not being heard, being completely irrelevant.
"Why am I even thinking of these overly dramatic kinds of stuff!?" I shouted without regard to where I was.
The customers in the store looked at me oddly for blurting out words so randomly. I put my head down in utter embarrassment, "Sorry.*
And they all continued shopping in silence.
This is so lame, shouting in the store plus I even have girl trouble... I long to see her again, to see her cloudy eyes of beauty. I don't know if it's good or bad but now they definitely know I'm not focused on the job
A month had passed since then but I haven't seen or heard from her. I was told that we'd see each other again later on but that's too vague, when in the hell is "again? "
I've always had nothing but distrust and hate for vague answers but... there was something about her that reassured me that we'd meet again. Perhaps it was her gentle face, maybe her held-back giggles, or maybe even love... Nah, the last one's just bull at this point.
I've waited for her in the place we've met for all this time, only to find myself wasting precious time that could've been for sleep. Ms. Hana Sato, a girl I met under the rain. A girl who stopped the raindrops from falling with just her voice.
A blind woman whose prolly in her 30s. A romantic that greeted me on New Year. Even as I work my shift, she manages to fill my thoughts...
The sudden, though little sound broke my focus in thinking.
Looking at the twitching birds, if they could hear the questions I ponder, they would burrow themselves in laughter. The weak problems of the creature they perceive to be big and strong, pathetic.
It poured down again, the rain that is. As the flock of birds flew southward, I grew anxious in waiting for my shift to an end. Maybe it was the perception of flying birds that gave me a sudden cling to freedom.
Whatever it may be, this yearning won't stop. And I've completely no control of it.
"Thanks for the hard work."
My shift ended and soon after I would find myself running to the place we met under the cold rain without an umbrella. My, no OUR special place beneath the rain.
Turn left on this road and after, I'll cross the bridge. Is she there? Who knows, I just know that we'll meet! We'll meet!
As I turn right on this alley she should be standing with her umbrella on-
You're... not here. I sat down on the muddled puddle as rain poured and heavily pierced through my clothing, leaving them soaked. "I really thought we'd meet today."
People walked by and my unnoticeable self wasn't granted their attention. No one cared to even glance at the strange man who sorrows in the dark.
It's happening again, I feel myself sinking again as the air in my mouth bubbles up. Falling deeper and deeper downward. Trying to float is futile.
I want to see you again. No, I'm going to see you again. I want to hear her voice again. I want her to stop the rain from pouring more water.
This internal yearning caused an elevation of sound in my throat, "Sa-to."
Footsteps broke the silence in my muttering mind as I slowly started easing as the footsteps grew closer. It lift something inside of me the nearer I was to it.
"You mean me?" I was brought alive by this voice that answered my inner cry for help. Again, the surrounding rain and even I froze in place and I could hear her voice clearly but I couldn't reply since I was petrified, not allowing me to make a sound let alone say a word.
There flashed before my eyes, her hand lowered at eye level as her knees were bent as she sheltered me in her umbrella, "That voice, that's you right, Taki?"
She said so with a relieved smile. Maybe it was a bad thought but I'm glad she's blind because I couldn't help but tear up, it was like my prayers were answered.
How ironic, the first person to take notice of this disabled body was a blind woman. Thank you, thank you for showing up.