Chapter 22:

Round 1, Match 8: Ayenne vs TheDUCK. Ayenne:

Community Sudden Fiction Tournament Arc


Round 1, Match 8: Ayenne vs TheDUCK.

Prompt: Animal Kingdom

Participant: Ayenne (https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/9461)


[Redacted]

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Judge's Feedback

znf: Alright interpretation of the prompt, okay integration of royalty into the concept of kingdom, but it felt like there was nothing really going for it aside from the general veneer of that. The story is fine but it reads kinda dry and the pacing feels a bit jank.

OscarHM: I personally don’t think this has much to do with the prompt, other than in the vague sense that the characters are royals that rule over some form of animal. You could’ve removed the butterfly’s from this or substituted in something else and little would change. And then the story between the royals doesn’t for me relate back to the prompt either. Other than that the story feels quite dry. There’s nothing wrong with it conceptually, the idea that the two can’t meet but are married is interesting enough but the execution just falls flat.

otkrlj: Ok interpretation, just couldn't catch my interest. the word choice was somewhat dull and the characters didn't stick out to me. I feel like with a larger variety of words, it could have been more fun to read