Round 2, Match 1: Nellien vs Daisonia. Daisonia:

Round 2, Match 1: Nellien vs Daisonia.

Prompt: Plot Twist

Participant: Daisonia (https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/5717)

The knight stood over the demon lord, blood stained with the fiend’s black blood.

“For the people you’ve killed, both by your hand and not,” she said. “I will bring them justice on this day! Never again will a Demon Lord rise!”

“I-Is that so?” The demon lord said, hacking and spluttering. The blood he coughed onto his dark red armor could barely be distinguished. “Then I expect you to fall upon your own sword, because...”

“Because?”

But the demon lord grinned, and passed away.

The knight’s confusion soon became a thing of the past as survivors of his battle with the tyrant flocked over, and congratulated him on his victory. The king offered him any one of his daughters, but the knight refused them all. For another bride awaited him.

Nevertheless, the king had a congregation of knights, entertainers, and cooks follow him across the land back to his humble town. Along the way, they collected more and more people as word spread of the demon lord’s defeat, and the intrepid and dashing hero that had done the deed.

His parents embraced him, his mother kissing his cheeks and his father’s grip so tight that he thought he would be torn in half.

And then, on that hill towards the back of the town where he made that promise to his childhood friend so many years ago, he found her waiting there.

He opened his mouth to confess his feelings, but stopped.

A man he’d never known, not even the local woodsman’s boy he’d been secretly jealous of, sat with her. As well as a young girl that resembled both of them. She looked around three years old.

He approached her, and after an awkward conversation, found that as his name had become more widespread, a fan of his had learned of his home, and came here in search of more information about the hero. The man came upon his childhood friend, and she, lonely as she was, fell for his bright smile and unfaltering attitude.

He hid his anger behind a smile, but that night, punched holes through trees to vent his anger. An unusual strength bolstered him, and he stared at the damage he’d caused, as he’d never been able to strike with that much power before. But perhaps his rage had been the answer, and he simply dismissed it for the time being.

Left with no romantic prospects, he once again approached the king for a princess’ hand. The king allowed it, but revealed that during his journey back, all but one of his daughters had been married off. In the end, the hero was rewarded with his least comely daughter, her face flecked with legions and cheeks sunken, boils on her nose.

Rather than insult the king and make an enemy of the kingdom in which he lived, accepted the king’s proposal.

The princess cooked and she cleaned, tried to use illusions to pretty herself, and prayed to the gods that he would love her. But he didn’t so much as touch her. His mind often drifted to his childhood friend that had betrayed their promise. To his admirer that had stolen her away from him while he’d been away. He wasn’t sure if it would’ve stung more had the thief been an enemy of his, or a servitor of the late Demon Lord.

One night, when she asked him for them to share a bed for the first time in the two years that they’d been married, he struck her.

She wept, and he comforted her. And in that moment of pity, he bedded her.

After nine months, she gave him a son.

And as he looked upon his progeny, the hero wished that his son looked as hideous as his mother.

Instead, while his son resembled him, he found dark and gnarled demon’s horns peeking out of his son’s head.

Despite wanting to use this as a scapegoat to accuse her of cheating, his heart knew that his wife would have never done such a thing. She’d been grateful to simply have been married in spite of her appearance, and to the beloved hero of the land no less.

So he left his child with his wife and some servants, and approached his parents. They claimed that he was their son, but he refused to believe them.

He must’ve been the demon lord’s own son, but the demon lord had wanted him to be raised as a human for some reason.

He scoured, and learned from a scholar that demon lords were beings that had hurt the goddess of fate. And so one of their children would inevitably murder them, and beget a son that would in turn murder them. And now that he’d killed his father, he would gradually change into the new Demon Lord.

He returned home, and in a fit of madness, killed his childhood friend, her husband, and their child. And then smothered his own child while his wife slept, and left the pillow he’d used to do it in their bedroom to implicate her. Then he murdered his parents for good measure.

Two cloaked figures appeared at the funerals.

After everyone else had left, they lingered.

“So how’d you put horns on the baby?” the larger one said.

“Illusion magic,” he said. “Was tough making it convincing enough for that princess to believe it, so there’s no way the hero would’ve seen through it.”

“And bolstering him with magic that one time so he’d think something was changing inside him? Clever.”

“Thanks. Your part was no less commendable.”

“Aww, thanks,” the lankier of the two said. “Passing myself as a scholar and making stuff up wasn’t too hard though.”

“Indeed. Anyway, let’s be off.”

And the two left, the hems of their cloaks fluttering ever so slightly, and for a moment, revealing legs that ended in hooves rather than feet. They passed by some king’s men requesting aid in defeating this newly arisen ‘Demon Lord’. 

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Judge's Feedback

znf: Lots of twists. This entire story is basically just one plot twist after another, and tells a pretty long story in very few words, which is pretty dope. Don't really have any other strong opinions about this.

OscarHM: I really like what you set up in the first half, with the hero losing his external motivators once he’s achieved his goals. (The first time you refer to him you used she which threw me for a bit of a loop though) Second half though tries to pack in way too much. I get you were going for a second twist in the story but then, with the word count you’re left expositing all of the behind the scenes fuckery that went on instead of dedicating your precious words to the fall of the hero. It’s all fine conceptually just not in the short space it’s put into. I think you would’ve been better off with a solution like making the demon lord more of an abstract concept, a thing that someone can become through their anger and resentment. You retain a twist and it’s also something that is more doable in the time you had. Overall though it’s still a very good effort.

otkrlj: liked the not one, but two twists back to back. Also, you made it a haha funny fantasy