Gilgameshuu - "Two points"

Parody Summary:

This is a tale of simping and NTR.

Taiyo Takizawa and Mitsuki Shimazaki were forced to be separated when Taiyo had to move out of town, because their parents had to move to a big city in order to flex on the rest of the family. At the summer festival, eve of the departure- they promised to meet in ten years and marry each other, so that Taiyo can secure his coochie since it might be the only one he will ever get.

Will their love be strong enough to endure those painful 10 years without one another? Will they be able to see the end of their 10 year promise? Or will they catch a high speed bullet train every weekend to visit each other LIKE NORMAL FECKIN PEEPS IN JAPAN WOULD DO?!

Read "Two Points, My Ass" to find out!

chap 0

Immediately in and mc asked the girl why the moon is lonely, dude what have you been smoking, its legit just a damn dwarf planet up the sky.

If the distance is close then kiss her on the damn cheeks, damn it stop being a beta, and the girl doesn't even have enough braincells to even answer. "I wonder." Pfft please, at least she countered his stupidity by asking them same question back to him.

Mister Taiyo then answered with the moon having the stars as company but now it is alone, omg stars are legit just suns in the distance and the moon is a damn rock it doesn't have feelings. Don't tell me you sniffed cocaine too, somebody please give this idiot summer school!

Then Mitsuki takes a shot of Taiyo joint and asked him if the sun isn't lonely too, did you 2 fall on yo heads when you were children I understand why 2 fell for each other, only weirdos could handle their crazy sht.

NO NO NO NO NO FECK NO TAIYO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND? YOU LEGIT ASKED A SIMULAR QUESTION NAH GTFO, GO HOME FAM, YOU AIN'T SHAKESPEAR OUTTA OF MY FACE!

Mitsuki what do you mean the sun is always alone by your crackhead shouldn't the clouds be its company?

...

Wait imma debunk this shit.

The sun is in space, and in space there are stars, now the distance between the stars and the sun/moon is immense meaning that every planet around the orbit is FECKING LONELY I didn't even search this sht up the internet, I swear youth, romance and astronomy don't go together that is for sure!

BRUH Taiyo went all simp by his gf's words, I swear hormones are doing the thinking here. Yo I can go all on these heronine attacted couple but for the sake of not making it too long imma stop!

Never mind!

HOW CAN THE SUN REGRET ANYTHING IT DOESN'T HAVE A TOUGHT PROCESS, HOW ARE THE 2 OF YOU EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL?!! GO DO A PART TIME OR SOMETHING!! BE USEFUL TO SOCIETY!!

How can the sun even not give up its legit just exists like ahh my gawd please let me isekai into 2PS PLEASE!!!!! The sun is an arrogant prick now? Taiyo your so stupid when people ask you what 1 + 1 is, you reply with 3! Finally a hug, stop using yo stupid ass brains and let their be wholesomeness! OH GAWD the moon is stupider now, if these are metaphors, then they simply suck ass, I can even think of better once while in my off day. These guys are legit using their full capacity of their 0.5 braincell for this nonsense smh.

Finally the sun and moon talk is over, just for the future don't let your kids play Pokémon sun and moon plus smoke weed trust me its a bad combo. You don't want your kids to become like Taiyo and Mitsuki.

A KISS HELL YEAH IT USUALY TAKES 4000 YEARS, BUT IN ONE CHAPTER MAN YOU ARE THE GOAT!!!!!

AND FIREWORKS TO END IT OFF NOICE!!!

chap 1

It seems Mitsuki went on a Touka running scene from Tokyo ghoul Route A, but instead she actually reached her destination where she missed the train. Better luck next time scrub, I guess yo track skills are trash lol.

BUT NOPE EVERYONE GOT RICKROLLED, because Taiyo wanted to see some big booba for the last time, before he will enter a 10 year celibacy program.

Woah Mitsuki gave touya a ring and..... it has a moon on it JUST STAWP IT PLEASEEEE I BEG YOU! OOH NO!!! her ring has the sun T-T please end me of their crackhead symbolism ahhhhhhh!!!!

They did a kinky promise on the marriage 10 years and "one last kiss" its a song reference hehe.

OMG WHAT YEAR IS THIS TELL ME WHAT FECKIN YEAR IS THIS!!!!!! LETTERS BRO WHAT IS THIS 1950s BRO WE LEGIT HAS CELLPHONES IN 1960s ALREADY and in the 80's portable ones and in early 2000nds protable flip phones with sms, AND THEY ARE USING LETTERS OH MY GAWD!!!! Their shier retardancy ever ceases to amaze me. *sigh*

Taiyo is gone tbh I doubt he will ever get an other girl in these 10 year too much of an crackhead for that lmao.

chap 2

So we open this chapter with Taiyo being heavily drugged again thinking the man of some kind of Shakespeare, until he got woken up from his hallucinations, what coochie can do to a boy lmao. I like Araki-sensei he is the math teacher and is probably the only with a rational brain in this story XD.

YO YO YOU SENT A LETTER AND MITSUKI HASN'T REPLIED NAHHHH!!! WHAT A GF YOU HAVE DUDE!! ITS ALL SUN AND MOON UNTILL SHE INSTANTLY FORGOT YO ASS!!

Okay *sigh* the man is being poetic for the 2nd time holding on the glass pane asking Mitsuki is on the other side, of course she is not you big brain. Its a damn window AHHHHHHHH!!! Why did you kiss the ring, I hate that object so much throw it away fam!

Nanase-chan is bae, bro even though she has smaller boobas, she actually holds a full function brain which is a great thing for your offspring, don't let this opportunity slip you are allowed to get some for 10 years just break up when the time arrives lol.

chap 3

Bruh Mitsuki couldn't even sleep when Taiyo left, is she even the bigger simp? I mean she did make those rings I hate with a passion lmao. Well, shit she fecked up by getting injured at regional competition after yoinking somebodies place LOL. Bruh Haruto is just getting the cold shoulder at this point, I genuinely feel bad for the guy, just please do not try there are better fish in the sea that do not was 0.5 IQ like Mitsuki.

FINALLY NOW YOU WANT TO WRITE THE DAMN LETTER AFTER IGNORING HIM FOR SO LONG!

Final review:

If you enjoy wannabe poetic emo Shakespeare characters with an IQ lower then a newborn, then this story is for you. The side characters is the only saving grace this romance has. The author probably went to a big party and decided to write this garbage while having an hangover, because this story reads like a fever dream.

Here some recommendations, simply don't write a story again when either, high, drunk or hung over. It legit saves mine and others their brain cells from dying a cruel death thank you!

Shut up about sun's and moons/10 would never teach astronomy to stupid kids again!

JK JK JK!! (I went a little to hard on the 2 mcs XD)

I have read it before, its a fun little thing to read, as yall know (probably not) romance is my favorite genre for both anime and manga, yes even above shounen. I am pretty much romance trash, so that makes me biased towards them XD. Anyway although the whole poetic stuff can be weird sometimes, I like this story for what it is and recommend it for you to read as well!

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

P.S: If you want to enter too please apply at the form!

P.S.S: (This story had lots of roast material, but I don't know if that is the good thing either XD)

Author link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/5218