TokyoFox250 - "Psychology Handbook" (Warning Heavy Roasting)

(Imma warn you again this review ain't pretty, but rules are rules no snowflake/twitter behaviour allowed!)

Parody Summary:

Akari Muhou is a 24 year old is a retired mafia-queen, who somehow did not end up in jail yet and she has the nickname Mad Akari, because she failed her anger management classes. She is a drummer in the band named Shadorozo at the moment, since she had nothing better to do with her life. Akari has an interesting habit. She loves going to psychology centers as she is batsht crazy herself. But she has a goal, her goal is seeing the value people give each other and thinks that these centers with half damaged people is the ideal spot for her aim. There are a lot of psychologists in it (why wouldn't it be lol). She goes in there with gangsta anger issues and meets a psychologist Harley Quin *cough* Kunomi. And they would fall in love which has a chance that Kunomi's career would crumble!

But they don't know each other feelings. As time progresses, something new pops up that made Akari a gangsta edgelord again. It is a handbook, it is given to all psychologists/pyschiatrists at the centers. Kunomi simps for the book to the point she following all the rules, that affects their relationship in different ways.

This is the story of them and their friends relationships!

Will Akari get some of that psychologist coochie?

Read "Psychology Simpbook" to find out!

chap 1

Bruh we open this chapter with Akari being an edgelord, ugh I dont feel nothing for spring and everyday, I am totally clueless why people called mad, while maybe FIGHTING WITH SECURITY GAURDS AT PLACE FOR MENTALLY DAMAGED PEOPLE?!!!!

Apparently she liked to visit the cray cray place and simps for psychologists, ey don't ask mefam she read to much Harley Quin comics.

OKAY OKAY

Akari enters the place and already feels her problems are solved, bruh when a normal person enters they instantly want to do a U-turn, dayum this girl belongs theree indeed lmao.

Bro imagine a psychology center being so popular that you have to stand in line, boi what is wrong with these people, I mean they are batshit crazy already so I get why they would stand inline for mid treatment.

Ight boys she is heading upstairs!

chap 2

Akari its just a room how the hell does a brick block with 4 walls and a sealing feel sincere, I smell a crack user here lmao.

Okay things are starting to get weird, why would Kunomi say to Akari that she needs to go to jail, that is not good from a professional perspective and personal safety, like Kunomi your a psychologist for feck sake did you leave your brain cells at university or something? A normal person would wait until the session is done and call the cops, IF she is a threat.

So Akari grabbed her by the collar clearly furious tbh I would be too lol.

Akari now leaving the appointment with guilt.

chap 3

Yo the first few paragraphs are weirdly put together, it gave me confusion ngl. It was a bit hard to know who was talking.

Okay Akari is at a bar and Kunomi is there too and Akari has a chat with the bartender Tsukasa

Okay a in a bit later all this quick chat about Akari liking Kunomi, yes but no then a massive rapid fire of dialogue which messes up the reader experience!

So Akari took her phone, because Kunomi was crying in call, like BRUH AKARI DON'T BUT IN PRIVATE CONVO'S I GET YOU A SIMP BUT THIS AIN'T YA PROBLEM, KUNOMI IS AN ADULT WOMAN THAT NEEDS TO FIX HER OWN SHIT!

By the way for real you have to fix this chapter, idk how you will do it but DO IT PLEASE!!!

chap 4

Dude the dialogue just makes it seem that characters are shooting out words at the speed a Lambo can not even keep up with, and it makes it seem like every character give this shounen cringe vibe, I am having a hard time understanding the plot. Your writing only somewhat worked in the first 2 chapters.

Okay imma concentrate and try to get the plot of this chapter.

Kunomi is drunk, Akari started fight some man and later got shot by a girl named Hiyomi.

That is all I could muster.

Oh man.............. what a mess this is....

(This review will be rough, like I don't wanna do this, but accepted is accepted.)

NEXT!!!

chap 5

Bro you way this is set up, is as if 5 years old were screaming at each other, listen for a bit of self roast, my grammar is straight up trash, which isn't that bad (mostly because I never really double check or put my chapter in google docs, since I am too lazy XD), but you can't screw up the phrase construction or else it just doesn't flow naturally fam.

So from what I can understand Akari seems be in denial that she likes Kunomi, but batshit crazy Ex Hiyomi knows what up, they were driving around having very confusing chatter that fecked up my brain, but hey guys I am still alive for now.....

LOL I love how they are saying that Akari is changing, but for me she is legit still a the same borderline crackhead, that beats the sht out of everyone if she gets the chance, idk if you call that change, but the last thing all these characters have to offer is a functioning brain so.... OUCH!

Final Review:

If you are straight up suicidal, don't value life, looking for a little cringe or a maximum comprehension challenge for your brain then this story is for you man! I am currently questioning my sanity myself so.... HOORAY!!!

-666/10 not even being threatened to hell would made me read this again.

JK JK JK WELL KINDA?

TOKYO LISTEN UP!

I have left little commentary which already are little bits and pieces of the feedback.

First off this book is pretty much one of the biggest shills of Honeyfeed max reader farming, but I already said something about it in the past.

IF if you want to shill, shill something of decent quality, this book has such a good concept, but the execution of it just.... sucks ass my dude!

I am not going to sugarcoat anything this is a roast book, I am going to be harsh, but only for this book to improve!

What is with that writing style, like why do you use the dialogue in way that we do not no idea who is saying who?

Example instead of:

"this" "that" short description/action '"this" "that" etc.....

Why not write like:

"hello." Hiyomi greeted.

"What's up?" Akari replied.

Description/action

"Dialogue"

Description/action

"Dialogue"

Etc.

PLEASE JUST SEPARATE THEM AND IDK HOW YOU GONNA DO, BUT JUST DO IT FAM!

Also with the dialogue sticked together you are going to create this rapid fire effect where everyone speaks as if chilli got put up their assholes!!

Also you need to upgrade your sentence construction and overall vocabulary, these characters are legit in their 20's and yet most of the the time they sound like screeching 10 year olds raging over a pvp match in minecraft.

Like this is supposed to be a shoujo, well it has themes that are a bit out of that range, so it might be josei, which makes it even worse since the dialogue reminds me of my cringe shounen books in the past.

My advice is REWRITE THE ENTIRE BOOK FROM THE FIRST DAMN WORD OF CHAPTER 1 TILL THE LAST LETTER IN THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!

I would have to decline future admissions, unless I see some improvement in the future. I am sorry for being rude, but I am just disappointed man, come on!!

I honestly want for you to upgrade your book, just like I said in the beginning, the concept of the plot is interesting, but sadly you didn't give it the quality it deserved!

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

P.S: If you want to enter too please apply at the form!

P.S.S: (I said everything I had to please do not think I hate you with the deepest passion or something XD.)

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

Author link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/6263