This Vampire Is A NEET

“Are you going to get up and do anything, or just laze about the house all day?”

Bell looks at me with an amalgamation of concern and joy – a smile that creeps its way into the realm of frustration.

I must say I cannot blame this current state of affairs though, after all, he offered me a place to stay and all I seem to have done so far is-

“All you’ve done since you came here is drink all the booze in the house, read light novels and watch anime all day.”

Well, that.

You see, I have found a few wonderful things about this world increasingly intoxicating and I’m not just talking about the booze. The existence of entertainment that details experiences in other worlds, many of which aren’t unlike the one I came from originally.

Detailed in each volume is a plethora of different scenarios in which one can find themselves reincarnated in another world, and if that wasn’t enough – each one of these stories contained a goddess that was very much like the one I encountered myself.

I guess in these stories she wasn’t “Death” though, but she was just as annoying in all these variations. Maybe even more so in the one I’m currently living in though.

The small child-like creature who calls herself “Death”, doesn’t she know how macabre that sounds. Why not be “Life” or just a regular goddess; I guess she wouldn’t be too much use as a goddess. Maybe a useless goddess.

Oh god, that’s it. I’ve been reading too much of this stuff. Where does the book end and reality begin?

Bell looks over me as I frantically try to pull together all the thoughts brought on by this independent study of what is called “Otaku Culture”.

“So, I was thinking… How about you get a job?” Bell asks, there’s a kind consideration in his voice, although a small part of the original frustration is coming through on his tone.

Wow, understanding emotions and interpreting others is like a full-time job. There is so much complexity to be gathered just from the simplest set of words.

Wait, stupid vampire.

Why are we analysing how he said something? We, wait, who are we anyways? Fuck. My thinking is erratic.

What did he say again?

“So, what do you think?” He presses on.

I must admit though, I can’t really remember the question. I better give a response anyways, what should I say in this situation?

“Yeah, I think that sounds like a good idea. So how do we do it?”

Ahhhh yes, the beauties of speech. Not only can I make it sound as if I am in agreement, but I can also probe further so he can remind me of what he was saying while maintaining my atmosphere of knowledge.

With this capacity to manipulate language, I should be an author! Someone give me a pen and paper – I should write a light novel of my own!

“So, to get a job-“

Wait. Hold up a second. A job?

“What’re you talking about?”

Bell abruptly halts due to my sudden question. Visibly taken aback, his face slowly morphs as he begins to grasp a greater understanding of the situation and that I hadn’t been following this conversation in the first place.

Bell’s lips begin to curve into a smile.

“Well, honestly, you’re beginning to become a bit of a NEET.”

A neat? What is a neat? Is he trying to say I am neat? I don’t see how this is an issue.

Observing my confusion, Bell begins to elaborate.

“Oh, sorry, I mean not in education, employment or training. A NEET for short.”

Slowly the complexity of this acronym begins to dawn on me, along with the connotation that might be associated with such a figure. I’m guessing it is what you would call someone who is practically useless?

“Don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing.”

Wow, are my expressions really that easy to decipher, am I an open book? I mean I guess it makes sense, I don’t speak a whole lot so maybe my feelings show greater through my facial expressions.

And I was here thinking I had a great poker face.

“It just means that you are yet to find your thing, your purpose – which is fine short term. You see I’ve lived that life for a long time and even though I still enjoy reading and watching all the same stuff, I guess it really hits harder once you feel like you have earned that relaxation time.”

Bell’s sudden dump of what seems like key exposition to living in this strange world dawns on me with a strange kick. By those standards, I have been a “NEET”, as he calls it, my entire life.

I don’t really know what I want to do with my life.

Suddenly it feels as if what I had once thought of as a happy, complete life has come crashing down on me, only to leave a large open void.

Interrupting the existential depression looming in the background like a creepy stalker, Bell speaks up again.

“Also, I mean – if you’re going to live here then you’re going to need to start contributing a little bit and stop drinking all my booze.”

The words coming out of Bell’s mouth don’t fit with the bright expression radiating from him.

There’s that warmth again.

Did I just hear that right? I live here?

“Okay, just so you know, you said it so I live here now. I shall get one of these job things to hold up my end of the bargain, but no backsies okay?”

“Backsies?” Bell questions with a slight smirk and a giggle.

Oh shit.

“Sorry, I uh – I just got excited for a moment there. Pay that no mind okay? I am back to cold, calculating vampire now.”

I can feel my face start to turn red, the warm sensation of blood rushing through my cheeks – I can’t help but smile. This is one of those feelings I will never get used to.

Who knew blood could be for more than just sucking?