Chapter 42:

Yuridium

The Y-files [GL]


Ms. Odes walked into the room. She looked as scatterbrained as ever, looking around a bit dazed and confused with her usual permed hair,thick glasses and colorful '80s outfit with a lab vest over it.

Ah Claire, did you bring the éclairs?” No greetings, it seemed like she considered that a waste of time. Ms. Odes went immediately for the goods.

Yes, here they are.” I answered, turning the éclairs over.

She took a microscope from her pocket, and started to look at one of them. No idea where she pulled that from. It should not be possible to put a large microscope like that in the pocket of a lab vest, should it?

Yes, yes... that is it... You did it, you really did it! You've proven that you did not do it by chance!” Ms. Odes was mumbling.

Ms. Odes, what are you talking about, what did I do?”

Oh, please call me Cath. With this kind of invention those formalities become useless.”

I don't think I will ever be able to call somebody as weird as her Cath. I am comfortable maintaining some personal distance here...

Invention? What do you mean, Cath?” Ms. Lourdes interrupted her. She obviously had no such inhibitions. Well, I guess she had been Ms. Odes’ boss for a while now...

I mean that the four of us are gonna be so rich!”

We are not understanding a thing of what you want to say. Please explain it to us like we were 5 years olds, and start at the beginning.” Ms. Lourdes seemed to be losing her patience.

I wondered how somebody as bad at explaining stuff like that could have become a teacher...

Well by now we all know that the éclairs that Claire made aren't your regular éclair. They were laced from top to bottom with natural aphrodisiacs, and we thought that that was what caused their spectacular effect.”

Effect, what effect? What happened?” Ms. Lourdes asked, but I noticed that she saw Anna and me go completely red and said “I see. Never mind. Please continue.”.

That was so embarrassing. She totally guessed, didn't she? I hoped she did not imagine anything worse though...

Ms. Odes then continued “But it was actually a good thing that it happened, because otherwise I would not have made the discovery.”

I started ticking with my foot... What discovery, get to the point. She's doing it on purpose isn't she?

You see, even though there are all these aphrodisiacs, the real active component having that effect is what I have called yuridium.”

Is that like an aphrodisiac?”

No not at all, but before I explain the effects I discovered so far, let me first explain the amazing scientific breakthrough you made.”

She then took one of the éclairs and let us all look in the microscope. Nothing special to see. But then, she took a scalpel and cut through the éclair, mixing all the layers slightly in the process. We could see bright flashes of light, and new minuscule dots were appearing.

This, girls, is CREATION! This should not be possible. It is the first time we witnessed a new element on the Mendeleev table pop into existence. You did not just discover yuridium, you CREATED it!”

Is that really so special? Guess I would have to take her word for it. I never was any good in chemistry or physics... What would you expect with a teacher like Ms Odes?

But how does that make us rich?”

Isn't that obvious? We are the only people that know how to produce a certain element on Mendeleev's table. It is the most rare element in existence, and we have a limitless supply. Everyone will want to experiment with it. Those éclairs you made are worth millions if not billions if we would sell them like that.”.

M-millions? I put millions in a cardboard carry box and jovially walked around with them? I felt a bit dizzy, and grabbed the armrest of my chair.

So on that matter, I would like you all to sign these documents, so that I can register the patents for our invention. One for the yuridium, and one for the process of creation. They make the four of us co-owner of the patents. This will mean that anyone making or using yuridium anywhere in the world will have to pay us royalties for it. I added Claire because she created the phenomenon, Ms. Lyst, because she brought it to science's attention, Ms. Lourdes because she provided us with the facilities to do the research, and because she is the supervisor of the project, and myself because I did the lab work.”

Ms. Lourdes immediately stopped us from signing and started reading the contracts to the last letter. I could understand her, we were talking millions so it might be worth it to at least read what you sign, but at the end she looked happy and said “All seems to be fair and in order. It's indeed only right that Claire is getting the largest part of the pie.”

After that we all read and signed the documents. I was glad Ms. Lourdes had read it over first, and had given her okay. She was answering any questions I had. I would be in doubt and utterly confused if I had read this document in judicial language by myself.

Okay, now that that boring part is done, let me go over the effects of yuridium.

So far, according to my findings, I theorize that yuridium is not an aphrodisiac. It is a substance that can only strengthen yuri feelings that are already there, and only toward people the subject already has feelings for. It seems to remove the inhibitions that prevent those feelings from coming out. Combined with the aphrodisiacs in the éclairs, you got the effect the two of you suffered.”

Both Anna and I were reaching world record breaking levels of redness. What was she saying, I do not like Anna in that way. I do not care about such things, my cooking is my priority!

I did plenty of tests over the weekend to come to that conclusion. The éclairs had little to no effect on men or straight women. It also had little effect on lesbians that had no interest in each other. On the other hand, if they were interested in each other, the effect was instantaneous. But testing is only in the starting phase. Mostly because I did not have enough yuridium yet. So you should still take everything I say with a grain of salt.”

Then Ms. Odes passed 2 éclairs to us and said. “It might be a bit flirting with the lines of moral acceptability, but you might be able to use this to solve this whole media spectacle. After all, I am not registering the patent until tomorrow so you can still be blissfully “unaware” of its effects...”

Ms. Lourdes frowned at that proposition and said to us “Only use it if you see no other way out. Ms. Lyst, you are going to be the senior officer, so I am going to leave the decision up to your judgment. Please do not make me regret this decision.”

Anna was still recovering a bit from the embarrassment and answered “Decide when to use éclairs, got it.” But I was not sure that she really understood what was said.

Are there any more questions?” Ms. Odes asked.

I think I will have plenty, but I need to let all of this sink in first.” Anna responded.

Anna got up and said “Claire and I are going to interview the attackers at the police station. With a bit of luck we might be able to force something there.”

Ms. Lourdes nodded to indicate we could leave. “I expect a full report later today. Oh, and Cath you are going nowhere.”

When we left the door we could hear an angry Ms. Lourdes shout “I am your boss, if you discover something, you come to me and we decide the next steps, and what to share and when together. Why is working with you always such trouble? This is just the same like when you destroyed the school's plumbing. I thought you would have learned your lesson!”

Wow, Ms. Lourdes could be quite scary. I had to make sure to never get on her bad side...

While we were walking to the car, Anna and I were still feeling a bit uncomfortable after all that was said by Ms. Odes.

Then Anna broke the silence: “Let us just ignore what was said there. Like Ms. Odes said, we should take it all with a grain of salt.”

She was doing her best to release the tension between us, she was actually pretty considerate, wasn’t she? There seemed to be a lot more sides to Anna then I knew. I could not help but admire her for that. There really was no winning with her, was there?

My emotions and my mind were still in a jumble from all the news and life changing events that just had been bombarded on me. Even if she was that woman, I was glad she was with me right now. So I just gave her arm a little affectionate pinch to show her that we would be in all of this together.

I needed to get my thoughts straight but ever since this whole FBY debacle started, it had been one roller coaster ride after the other. But yet again there was no time to process it now because we had urgent matters to attend to.

Anna nodded towards me and got that determined look in her eyes behind her glasses back.